Struggle
by Yggi
Summary: KOTOR. A year after the destruction of the Star Forge a Jedi who followed Revan in the Mandalorian war, and bearing a special grudge against her, comes face to face with her former leader and the Ebon Hawk gang, while struggling with her own inner demons.
1. Struggle 1

**Three years before the destruction of the Star Forge . . .**

Jedi Keena walked through the corridors of the _Storm_, trying to balance the conflicting emotions of being back on Revan´s flagship.

The decision to disobey the masters and follow Revan´s call to arms had not been an easy one. She, like all padawans, had been brought up to trust in the wisdom of the masters and follow the way of the Jedi peacekeepers. And who was she to question her teachings? Despite a strong connection with the Force she had no illusions about her own importance or wisdom.

Then the Mandalorians came. And as the warlike savages started tearing through Republic territory the Senate´s calls for aid from the Jedi became more frequent and more pressing. And the high council sat on it´s hands. And the death toll kept mounting. And the council insisted on patience. And worlds were crushed for nothing more than being in the path of Mandalore. And the council did nothing.

How could she not answer Revan´s call? Was she not sworn to protect the Republic and the sanctity of life?

Those two opposing factors had clashed deep within Keena. Loyalty and concience. Teachings and instinct. Until one finally won over.

But finally making the most difficult choice to join Revan´s forces hadn´t ended her inner struggle.

The next struggle had been between the exhiliration and joy of saving innocent lives, to liberate worlds from crushing occupations or sieges, and the utter horror of what that entailed. The endless conveyor belt of death and misery. Watching comrades and friends, Jedi and soldiers alike, fall in the savage war. The endless lists of casualties. Reporting deaths to families. And the dark, oppressing aura that seemed to fill the Force as Revan´s fleet pushed deeper into the devestated territories in the wake of the Mandalorians, as the war turned into a rout.

It had been difficult. Terribly, terribly difficult. Eventually the joy of defending the ideals of the Republic started losing out to the endless grief and battle fatigue.

Now that she thought back the only good memories the war´s second half had to offer were those of her friends. Her combat skills and devotion early in the war had impressed Revan and much to Keena´s surprise she found herself attending the strategy meetings between Revan and her generals and closest circle of Jedi followers. The people who became her friends.

Despite everything Keena managed a small smile.

Bandon had never failed to lighten the often heavy atmosphere with his easygoing manner and seemingly neverending optimism.

Malak believed in leading by example and was invaluable in his efforts to inspire the troops and remind everyone what they were fighting for. It was often said, outside of earshot from Revan, that she might be the brains of the Republic war effort but Malak was the heart.

And Eskon, a padawan who had joined the war at the same time as Keena, was a competent enough tactician and ground leader to provide second opinions to Revan and work with her on strategies. Which said a lot. They had been acquaintances before the war. Now they were . . . friends. Very good friends. Although she had always been instructed to avoid overly close emotional attachments, Keena and Eskon had been through too much together, saved each other too many times, to truly care.

And then there was Revan.

Revan who never seemed to run out of energy or devotion to the struggle. Revan who turned the war on its head and started beating back the invincible Mandalorians. Revan who always had a shoulder for Keena to lean on when the weight of the war threatened to break her resolve. Revan who had more faith in Keena than Keena herself and made her a field commander of a battalion of ground troops. Revan who drew people irresistably to her and seemed to stand as a shining beacon for the ideals of the Order. And amazingly she had never seemed to let the adoration of others or success get to her head. Keena had expected to feel intimidated and insignificant next to such a leader. But Revan´s seemingly endless charisma had put her at ease immediately.

Keena was proud to call Revan her friend, for that was exactly what they became.

Amidst all the needless death and horror the presence of these four friends had eased Keena´s mind and held back the darkness.

For a while.

The war dragged on. The casualties mounted. And ever so slowly, but surely, the feel of the Force became heavier, more oppressive. She hadn´t mentioned her own feelings to anyone but from the ever growing moodiness of her friends it seemed they too felt the same. Still young and just a padawan as far as the Order was concerned her understanding of the Force was still limited and she had tried in vain to analyze the cause. More and more frequently Keena had found herself wishing for the presence of her old Master and his wisdom. Was it the lingering aura of death and pain from the billions of deaths caused by the merciless enemy? Were the battles and all the lives she had taken starting to weigh her down?

One theory seemed to stand firmer than the rest, in an unpleasant, looming way that made her shiver every time she couldn´t busy herself enough to ignore it. That there was something out there, just beyond the horizon. Something bad.

Keena had found herself waking up from nightmares more frequently than usual lately, drenched in sweat, but could never remember the details.

Despite the growing sense of unease all the battles and sacrifices and deaths had paid off. The Mandalorian fleet had been crushed over Malachor. The surviving Mandalores had been stripped of everything they had and banished to the outer rim, utterly defeated. The Republic was saved. For now.

Revan hadn´t been as convinced of the end of the Mandalorian threat as the admirals and had led a third of the fleet into unexplored space after making an impassioned speech about the importance of making sure the sacrifices that had been made would not be in vain. The safety of the Republic had to be proven beyond a shadow of a doubt.

So here they were, exploring far beyond the borders of known space, with Revan sending out scouts in every which way, sometimes even taking a private shuttle with Malak and disappearing for extended periods.

No one had found anything. And yet Revan kept searching. And yet the uneasy feeling nestled deep in Keena´s gut lingered.

Two months ago Revan had called Keena and Eskon to a private meeting. She had a scouting mission for them both, she said. One she could only trust her closest people with. She had handed them each a different set of coordinates and explained that it would be quicker to send them in different directions and piece together the data they brought back.

The mission had been lonely and dull. But on the other hand it had been a welcome relief from the oppressive air that seemed to hang around her friends and fellow Jedi of late.

And that was the source of her current struggle with herself. She couldn´t ignore the signs anymore. There was something _wrong._ Now that she was back on the _Storm_ after a lengthy absence she felt it even more keenly. There was something very wrong and she had ignored it far too long.

She would have to speak to the rest of Revan´s inner circle about this, break through the wall of silence everyone seemed to have silently agreed to build around the subject. Revan and Malak had become more and more insular, spending most of their time in private meetings. Bandon had lost the look on his face that always seemed to suggest he was about to laugh. And Eskon was . . . worried. Several times now he had walked up to Keena and seemed about to say something but changed his mind.

This could not continue.

Keena stood outside the door to Revan´s private quarters. Her awareness of the Force had always been strongest around herself, and she felt her aura being probed by a presence that was unmistakeably Revan. The doors slid open.

´´Come in.´´

Revan sat on the edge of her bed with her back to the door. The room was poorly lit and she was wearing the hooded cloak and battle armor she´d replaced her Jedi robe with in the latter part of the war. Keena´s heart sank a little at the sight. Although she´d never confronted her friend about the increasingly day-to-day wearing of the armor and even mask it had seemed to her a way for Revan to distance herself from and cope with the no doubt enormous strain and crushing pressure and responsibility she was subjected to. At least the mask Keena had grown to loathe was on the nightstand. She´d be able to look her leader in the eyes for once.

´´Welcome back Keena.´´ Revan said in a quiet voice without turning around. She was studying something in her lap quite intensly.

´´Thank you Revan. It´s good to be back.´´ She tried to sound chipper but couldn´t help but feel slightly disappointed. She had been expecting, hoping for, a warmer welcome. For the last two months of solitude she had maintained a weak hope that the progressive aura of gloom would be lifted in her absence. She´d hoped that at the very least she could find Revan stripped of her cold, metal shell in the quiet safety of her own quarters.

No such luck.

A few seconds of silence passed until Keena remembered her two objectives. She held up the datapad with a full and detailed report on her scouting mission. ´´I think I found what you wanted me to, although Eskon´s report will have to fill in the holes. Have you heard from him yet?´´

´´Hm? Oh, yes. Just put it on my desk. I´ll look through it later. And Eskon has been delayed somewhat. I´m not sure for how long.´´

Keena put down the datapad. ´´What about you and the Shiny Headed Titan?´´ she asked, trying to lighten the mood with one of Malak´s less favorite nicknames. ´´Have you found anything yet?´´

´´In a manner of speaking, yes we did.´´

_In a manner of speaking_? ´´What do you mean?´´ Keena walked over to her friend and saw what she was fiddling with: The personal warblades of Mandalore.

One was a huge vibrosword of absolutely highest quality, no doubt a custom job built from scratch in accordance with his specifications. In his off hand he had wielded a much shorter regular blade which had clearly seen much use. Judging by the elaborate design of the hilt and various symbols it had most likely been a valued heirloom of his clan.

Mandalore had wielded these as he engaged Revan in single combat as the _Storm´s _crew had boarded his flagship over Malachor. The image of the huge warrior disgarding his blaster for the blades and charging his enemy with a bellowing war cry would no doubt be immortalised by those few of his people who had survived.

Revan had made short work of him.

Now seeing those swords again she thought back on the perverse sense of satisfaction she felt when the monster responsible for billions of deaths took Revan´s lightsaber across the torso, the upper half falling on top of the arm she had severed earlier.

Jedi weren´t supposed to enjoy death. She knew this. And yet the feeling had been there. Along with a deep sense of disappointment for not getting her own shot at him.

´´They did nothing.´´ came Revan´s voice from within the face-obscuring shadows of the hood. ´´Billlions of lives and the Republic itself stood upon the brink of annihilation and the Council did nothing.´´ The hood did not move but Keena got the feeling that Revan´s gaze had moved from the swords to herself. ´´What else could I . . . we have done?´´

Keena was confused. They had moved past this long ago. A nod was the only reply she could think of as she fought back the urge to snatch off the hood to look Revan in the eyes.

´´And with only the support of those Jedi willing to disobey their masters this whole war was more difficult . . . more costly than neccessary. We have fought and bled, sacrificed and grieved. All because of their inaction. Do you know how many men and women I´ve sent to their deaths?´´

Keena shook her head.

´´Many. But it was of course neccessary. Sometimes sacrifices are unavoidable in order to achieve a higher goal. Some are merely larger and more painful than others. Don´t you agree my friend?´´

The sullen gloom had vanished from Revan´s voice, replaced by the strength, conviction and seductive charisma that had first drawn Keena to her cause. It occured to Keena that perhaps Revan´s most powerful tool was neither her command of the Force or brilliant strategic mind or combat skills, but her voice and presence.

She sighed. ´´I . . . I suppose you´re right. There are times when there are no good options and one must settle for the least costly one.´´

Revan stood up and put a gauntleted hand on Keena´s shoulder. ´´I´m so glad you see it that way. There was a time when I found the weight of these choices unbearable. All those lives . . . But I am at peace with it now. Those deaths were an unpleasant neccessity.´´

There was a moment of silence and Keena felt Revan´s unseen gaze appraising her.

´´And yet for what? The Republic has fallen from it´s old glory. Reduced to a pack of bickering politicians with no foresight or concern other than their own immediate political survival. Just think: This whole mess could have been avoided if the senate hadn´t ignored the threat of the Mandalorians and struck the first blow. Can it continue like this? What happens when the next possible threat comes along? Will they once again turn a blind eye until the enemy is at our borders? Does the Republic have the strength to maintain order in the galaxy? I think the evidence speaks for itself. What about you . . . my friend.´´

Keena once again felt like Revan´s unseen eyes were digging into her, capturing and analyzing every movement of the eyes, every twitch of a muscle. She didn´t like the feeling, and liked even less the picture that Revan was drawing. Mostly because it held a ring of truth for the battle-weary padawan.

´´No,´´ she admitted after a while, ´´the Republic is far from perfect. But what other option is there? How could it be made to change? And into what? A military machine like the Mandalorians? We have fought for peace Revan. I couldn´t bear to see all that wasted.´´

Revan´s hand tightened on her shoulder. ´´But don´t you see Keena? What good is fighting for peace when we just go back to leaving ourselves open for attack? And it _will_ all be wasted if we don´t do what is neccessary. We have seen what the ways of the Republic lead to, we have seen war and death. The fat politicians sitting on their behinds in luxury back home have not. If any should have the authority to decide the fate of the galaxy it should be _us_, Keena. What say you, my friend?´´

Keena squirmed. Revan had always been so good at convincing people, had always known just what to say. And her words seemed so _right_. They called out to the feelings and bitter thoughts she had kept buried for so long. She looked down at her own feet. She felt like she was on a threshold, on the verge of something huge and fateful. Balancing on a decision even greater than to disobey the Council.

Keena thought back on the ever growing gloom of the last few months. On the building sense of dread in the pit of her stomach. On the grief and horror of the war. She brought those feelings back now, used them as weapons to pit against Revan´s seductive voice.

´´Revan . . . no. We have done enough. More than enough. Individuals aren´t meant to make decisions like that. Don´t you remember why we started fighting? Why you rallied us around you? We are defenders of the Republic, no matter how fallible. We have saved it´s present. Let others decide it´s future.´´

Revan stood stock still and appraised her for a few more seconds. ´´Do you truly feel that way, Keena?´´ she asked in a low voice.

Keena reached out and put her own hand on Revan´s shoulder and gave it a gentle squeese. ´´Yes Revan. This war has done so much to us all. I´m tired of it. I barely recognize Bandon and Malak anymore. Let´s go back to the Order and enjoy the peace we have accomplished.´´ Moved by her own words Keena looked sincerely into her friend´s shadowy hood and lowered her voice. ´´Let´s go home Revan.´´

She gasped.

Her eyes moved back down.

The hilt of Mandalore´s short sword was sticking out of her belly.

_After her first major battle Keena had found a deserted hallway on the _Storm_, curled up in a ball, and tried to shut out the sick feelings of despair and pain radiating through the Force. So much death. So much suffering._

_Her bunkmate, a cheerful young Telosian named Anna, had lost everything below the navel in an explosion. She was reduced to gurgling and moaning after she ran out of strength to scream. Keena had held her hand as she felt the Force drain out of her body. And for what?_

_She couldn´t find the peace to meditate. The Jedi Code felt hollow on her lips._

_Before she knew it the young padawan was sobbing._

_´´Hey.´´_

_Keena looked up, startled. She hadn´t heard footsteps._

_´´First time, right?´´ Revan said in a soft voice._

_Keena couldn´t summon the strength to speak and merely nodded._

_Revan didn´t ask any questions or make any lectures. She simply sat down next to the younger woman, wrapped her arms around her and offered a shoulder to cry on._

_Keena didn´t know how long they sat there, but eventually her tears ran dry and the grief and horror had receded to a dull ache._

_´´Thank you´´ she said in a low, sincere voice. ´´I needed that.´´_

_Revan smiled slightly. ´´Just glad to help.´´_

_´´Shouldn´t you doing something more important? Managing the fleet or something?´´_

_´´This _is_ important. We must never get too caught up in the grand scheme of things to show small kindnesses. In the end it is those small things we are fighting for. What all those people gave their lives for.´´_

_They stood up together._

_´´My name is Keena.´´ She held out her hand and Revan shook it._

_´´Nice to meet you Keena.´´_

´´I´m sorry to hear that.´´

Keena fell to her knees and a gauntleted left hand closed around her windpipe and squeesed with mechanically enhanced strength.

_Revan . . . _her lips formed the word but nothing came out.

´´I really hoped you would respond to reason, _my friend_.´´ Revan said, still in that strong, compelling voice.

Keena tried to call upon the Force but could not focus with her increasingly oxygen-hungry brain. Then she felt a strong surge of Force power and blue lightning coursed out of Revan´s left hand and into Keena´s body. She spasmed helplessly in Revan metal grasp, in the horrible agony of her screaming lungs, severed small intestine and burning flesh.

´´I suppose we´ll have to do this the hard way.´´

The world went mercifully black.


	2. Struggle 2

Where Revan had gotten the torture droid, Keena did not know. It was of no design she recognized, and the only marking on it was the same one Revan´s forces seemed to have adopted as their own. The only thing she knew was that it was very, very good. And Revan gave it free reign whenever she couldn´t be there herself.

How long had it been? Keena´s sluggish, sleep deprived mind couldn´t seem to put any order or timeframe around the neverending misery her world had become. Days? Weeks? All that she was strongly aware of was that she was in pain and when Revan visited she was in more pain

She was manacled hand and foot to a cold and very uncomfortable table, naked to allow the droid full access to her defenseless body. She didn´t know where she was since the room only lit up when Revan came by. Mostly she was left in the dark with only her hearing, listening to the droid prepare whatever tools she was going to be introduced to next. As if the table wasn´t bad enough a place to spend all her time the droid kept giving her injections for various purposes. One drug she was becoming quite familiar with was some sort of stimulant that kept her from ever truly falling asleep, meaning she spent those rare occasions when the droid left her alone in a miserable state of almost-sleep, with her mind desperately in need of rest, but with her muscles jittering with nervous energy. That constant state of her consiousness hovering tantalisingly close to rest was giving the whole thing an unreal quality, with reality and thought blending hapasardly together in a confusing mix.

The only constant thoughts she managed to hold onto for any length of time concerned Revan.

Revan, the hero and saviour of the Republic. Revan, the beloved and compassionate leader. Revan, the Jedi she admired like no other.

How could this happen? _Was_ this really happening? Her drugged, exhausted mind tried to make sense of it and failed.

She accidentally exhaled too hard and got a sharp jolt of pain from her stomach as a reward. Yes, this was happening all right. She had been given enough kolto to keep her alive, but just that. She still felt the wound acutely. The droid realised that all to well.

Keena tried to relax and use the respite she was getting from the droid´s tender mercies to rest. She felt her mind hover over the welcoming oblivion of sleep for a moment, but as usual a muscular spasm brought her back from the edge and kept her in this horrible reality.

She had tried meditating at first, both to block out the pain and to rest, but the combination of drugs, pain and exhaustion kept her from concentrating. And when was the last time she had meditated anyway? She had been very lax in her meditations lately, she now realised.

Her mind was starting to wander off again, to take some random trip through her uncoordinated brain, when she felt Revan approach.

There was no mistaking it. Even with her sense of the Force severly dulled by the drugs there was no mistaking the sick, dark aura.

The door slid open, revealing the hooded silhouette of the woman she had considered one of her most trusted friends. Keena´s pride had eventually gone the same way as her sense of time and she cringed as her torturer walked in and the dim lights automatically went on. She was afraid and she had lost the strength the hide it.

The table rose up into a vertical position, making the manacles even more painful as she now hung from them.

Revan took off one gauntlet and carefully stroked a strand of hair out of Keena´s face and tugged it behind her ear. Keena cringed at the touch; the hand was deathly cold.

´´Hello, Keena.´´ Revan said sweetly. ´´I was planning to continue our discussion from last time. I hope you´ve taken the time to think about what I said.´´

Keena managed to consentrate on the black faceplate, hating it, though she wasn´t entirely sure if she wanted to look the other woman in the eyes any more.

´´The Sith had it right the whole time, Keena. It´s time to face that. We, the strong, are not supposed to bleed and die to protect the weak. That simply is not the natural way of things. They exist to serve _us_. Why else would they exist, mindless cattle that can´t fend for itself? _That_ is why there is distinction. The Sith way is the natural law of the universe.´´

Revan gently cupped Keena´s chin. ´´Why do you tell yourself otherwise?´´

Keena stared wordlessly at the faceplate.

´´All you have to do is free yourself from the shackles the Jedi Order has put you in, embrace your passions, embrace the _true_ power of the Force and you will see I am right.´´

Keena´s sluggish mind felt Revan´s silken smooth voice slide through her defenses and plant something inside . . . as always. There was no denying it: Every time Revan came she tore down a little bit more of Keena´s conviction, planting ever more doubt and anger. And Keena hated her for it. And that hatred served Revan´s purposes perfectly, she knew that very well. But it didn´t make a difference.

She wondered how long it would be before doubt would feel like knowledge.

Keena didn´t notice Revan´s hand slide down to her vulnerable stomach until a stream of lightning hit her. As always she squirmed and spasmed as much as the manacles allowed, and as always Revan kept at it until her victim´s resistance broke down and she was screaming uncontrollably. At first she had been able to maintain some amount of serenity, of pride. But there just was no end to it.

The electrocution kept on going until Keena reached the point in the agony where she thought she would die . . . and then a little longer. Finally it stopped. She hung there limply and wondered, not for the first time, what exactly the droid gave her to keep her from blacking out.

The cold faceplate regarded Keena. ´´Have you ever felt your life so intensely?´´

´´You bitch!´´ It was meant to be a scream but came out as a weak croak. ´´You delusional, traitorous, lying Sith whore!!´´

A small chuckle escaped Revan´s lips. That now familiar chuckle was the only thing about her demenour that lifted the charismatic veil of her voice and revealed the sick infection underneath: Cold, empty and sadistic.

´´That´s better Keena.´´ Keena didn´t have the strength to recoil when Revan grabbed a handful of hair and held her head up to stare in her eyes. ´´That´s much better. Every time I come here you cast off a little bit of the pathetic padawan you were and move closer to the Dark Side. The TRUE Side. No delusions of serenity or self-imposed limitations or bucking and scraping to insects!´´

Revan leaned her metal-clad face way into Keena´s. She hated that mask. She truly hated it.

´´The Dark Side has it´s hook in you, my friend. And there is no escape, ever.´´

Another vicious stream of lightning followed, just as long and powerful as the last one.

´´Well, I´m afraid I can´t stop as long as usual this time. There is much to do and I can´t afford to leave it up my underlings to get it right. But don´t worry; my pet will keep you company.´´

Keena tried to form a reply, a curse, anything, but her sore throat wouldn´t allow it. She knew she would scream, though, when the droid got back to work, no matter how much it hurt or how badly her voice broke.

Her exhausted brain registered Revan´s parting words: ´´You´ll thank me for this one day.´´

And she was right. She was right about everything. Her resolve and conviction died away little by little, and in the foreseeable future nothing would be left but anger and hatred and doubt. And the darkness. The darkness that twisted Revan into a soulless, unfeeling monster.

_It´s going to happen. I´m going to end up just the same. Darth Keena. And there is nothing I can do about it._

Desperation broke down her last remaining strength and tears slid down her cheeks.

And she heard the droid approach.

-------------------------------

Time passed. She didn´t know how much. Revan visited. She didn´t know how often. Another piece of her soul was lost. She didn´t know how big.

The droid was recharging and Keena was in her half-sleep state when she felt a rumble go through the ship. Then warning claxons and the distant sound of many running feet. Something had gone very wrong.

Some time ago she had hoped and prayed for some catastrophy that would take this blighted ship and everyone on it, before Revan mobilized her army against the battered Republic. And before the darkness would consume her. She had feverishly hoped she would get to die whole.

Now she didn´t care. Whatever would happen would happen.

If the ship went down it would at least take that bitch with it.

The next thing she was aware of was the familiar hiss of a lightsaber being activated, and a blue light illuminated the room. Keena turned her head just in time to see the torture droid get sliced in half. Too bad it couldn´t feel pain.

Four quick blurs with the lightsaber and she was free.

A face hovered over her and she was eventually able to focus on it.

´´Eskon . . .´´

´´Keena,´´ his voice filled with worry, ´´I found you. Just hang on, I´m going to get you out of here.´´

She felt him inject her with something. A familiar feeling, except this time she regocnized the effects of a powerful kolto shot as her abused body started mending. The pains in her wounds, and long time immobile limbs slowly faded. She had almost forgotten what it felt like to not be in pain. It felt like paradise.

Next followed a shot of some sort of stimulant. Her mind was forcibly lifted from the fog that had descended on it and her senses sharpened. The feeling was not a substitute for sleep and somewhat uncomfortable, but it also felt good to think more or less straight.

´´This should keep you up for a few hours at least. By that time I plan to have us both long gone from here.´´

Keena accepted the canteen he handed her and after some water her vocal cords didn´t feel quite so raw.

´´Thank you.´´ she croaked.

´´Anytime. Look I´d love to talk but we don´t have much time.´´

He handed her a bundle of clothes and started helping her maneuver her sluggish limbs into them.

´´I sabotaged the hyperdrive and targeting systems. We just need to make our way to the hangar bay and they won´t be able to follow us or turn us into space debris.

´´Not bad. What about . . . Revan?´´ The name tasted bitter and foul on her lips, and she had to hold back several colorful alternatives for her ´´friend´´.

Eskon´s face looked haggard. His small, alert eyes were tired and had huge bags under them. His usually neatly trimmed short hair and beard was filthy and tangled. His eyes seemed to shrink back from the intense gaze Keena fixed him with as she awaited an answer.

´´She´s . . . somewhere on the ship. That´s all I know. Making preperations for the . . . invasion.´´ He sighed deeply. ´´This just doesn´t seem real. How could this happen?´´ he mumbled, half to himself.

´´Well it happened. Make no mistake about that. That bitch betrayed us. She betrayed everything!´´ Keena fanned the fire of her anger, letting it overshadow the feelings of betrayal, humiliation and fear. ´´And she´s going to pay for it!´´

Eskon flinched at the venom in her voice and looked her in the eyes with something she couldn´t quite identify. Fear? Sadness?

´´Later.´´ he said, weakly. ´´Unless you´re willing to fight your way to the bridge in this state we´re going to head for the docking bay. The confusion won´t last for long. Not with Revan in charge. Our chances are slim enough as it is.´´

Keena scowled but didn´t have an answer for that. _Right. Later . . ._

When she finished dressing he pulled out a lightsaber from under his robe.

´´I believe this is yours,´´ with some of that old boyish glint returning to his eyes. ´´Try holding on to it this time.´´

Keena snatched it out of his hand and felt like a piece of her had been returned. She lovingly grasped the hilt made especially to match her grip perfectly. ´´Revan took it!´´ The anger momentarily took the backseat for joy and wonder.

´´What can I say? I´m talented.´´ The glint was followed by the rougish half-grin she´d grown so fond of.

She joke-punched him in the arm and felt some of the gloom lift from her heart.

´´Thanks for saving me, you jerk.´´

Maybe there was hope yet.

´´Let´s go.´´

The hallway was empty, with most of the crew being dispatched to control the fires Eskon had started. They both knew the _Storm_ in and out and moved swiftly and silently to an elevator in a little used part of her. Two troopers were on guard there, but Eskon scrambled their minds and they entered without trouble. The two Jedi would be long gone before they realised anything was wrong.

Keena hit the button for the hangar in the ship´s bottom and leaned against the wall, wondering how long the stimulant would keep her on her feet.

´´She told me the others, _all_ the others, have sworn alliagence to her as the new Sith Lord. Is it true, or was she just messing with me?´´

She allowed herself a moment of hope for her brother and sister Jedi, her friends. Only a moment. Eskon´s eyes told her everything she needed to know.

They were lost.

Revan had abused the trust they had placed in her and slowly twisted and perverted them into horrible mockeries of what they were. Of what they had stood for. And when they fell, either from the coming war, Sith infighting or simply age, the only thing left for them would be the darkness. Even in death Revan would damn the ones Keena had called friends.

´´I hate her Eskon. I really, truly hate her.´´

Somehow the look in Eskon´s eyes made the hurt even worse. He was saved from having to answer when the elevator doors slid open. Three troopers had been standing on the other side of it.

They simultaniously raised their blasters when Eskon and Keena simultaniously raised their hands and sent them flying into a wall, knocking them out.

Keena walked over to them and ignited her lightsaber. The soldiers were not Jedi. They could not excuse themselves by having fallen to the Dark Side. They were just traitors. She squeesed the hilt until her hand hurt and raised it for a sideways swing at all three of them.

_No excuses. Just scum!_

Eskon´s large hand clamped around her wrist in a drowning man´s grip. His face was an image of despair and sorrow as his other hand sought out the switch on the sabre and deactivated it.

´´Let´s go Keena.´´ His voice was horribly strained. ´´We´re almost there.´´

She let him lead her to the hangar. Something opened up a fresh wound deep in her gut. Eventually she recognized it as shame.

´´Look . . . Eskon . . .´´ she was losing control of her voice. ´´I just . . . I . . .´´

´´Save it Keena´´ He said tiredly as they made their way to a shuttle in the middle of the hangar, surrounded by sharp-nosed raptor fighters. It had been left with it´s engines running and the boarding ramp down. Most likely a result of Eskon´s sabotage.

´´Revan knows we´re here, I can sense it. She´s sending the whole ship down on us. Let´s just get out of here.´´

Keena managed to stretch her Force senses enough to sense pretty much the entire crew headed towards the hangar.

Eskon held her hand as they ran up the ramp.

´´We can talk when we . . .´´

Keena sensed a massive wave of Force power a moment before she was sprawled on the hangar floor.

A huge figure emerged from the shuttle and activated a lightsaber.

´´I´ve been waiting for you two.´´

Malak.

How he had changed in the months since she saw him. His skin had turned a ghastly pale colour, almost grey. His eyes had sunk into the back of his head, and seemed to be losing their colour as well. And he looked so old.

_He´s in his twenties for crying out loud._

And the smile. The subtle little smile that had almost become his trademark was replaced by a horrible, smug grimace that could possibly be called a grin.

Keena tried to simultaniously force her battered body to stand up and her hand to snatch the lightsaber from her belt. She couldn´t help but think of their sparring sessions. Sometimes he´d won. Sometimes he hadn´t. But then she hadn´t been suffering the effects of long-time torture and sleep deprivation. She was very scared.

Eskon got to his feet and took a fighting stance with his twin lightsabers.

´´Malak! For goodness´s sake man! Think about what you´re doing! We´re Jedi!´´

´´No, Eskon,´´ he twirled his red sabre, ´´_you´re _a Jedi. For now, anyway.´´

Eskon´s face fixed in a grim scowl of determination. ´´You´ll never turn us Malak. Never.´´

Malak laughed, a gratingly ugly sound devoid of life. ´´Well, it´s either that or kill you. The woman you´ve been keeping your eyes on since the start of the war is halfway there anyway. Come now: Join us and be part of the birth of a new age of the Sith. Join us and _live_!

Keena felt Eskon draw the Force around him, ready for combat.

´´I´ll rather die, Malak. I´ll gladly die before I ever join you.´´

´´Well, you only needed to ask.´´

Instead of the expected rush, however, he sent out a bolt of Force lightning, straight into Keena´s chest. The bolt sent her sliding across the floor, and she was vaguely aware of Eskon charging him with a scream.

For a few moments her world consisted of blackness, and she was blessedly aware of nothing.

The sound of clashing lightsabers brought her back. She fought it at first, wanting to rest in the comforting nothingness.

_Eskon._

She heard him scream.

_He´s fighting for his life._

Malak laughed.

_He´s figthing for both of us!_

She forced her eyes to open.

Eskon´s left arm hung limply at his side, with a nasty lightsaber burn running down it. His remaining blue lightsaber was clashing with Malak´s red one. Malak was clearly winning.

Keena tried to draw upon the Force, to heal her body, to aid Eskon, to attack Malak. To do _anything._ But the Force seemed to run from her grasp like water.

She tried her body instead. It wasn´t much better.

Too much damage. Too much exhaustion. Too much torture.

_No! I´ve lost everyone else! I´m won´t let this happen, I won´t! I just. need. a. little. strenght!_

She discarded her mental discipline in favour of raw determination for herself, fear for Eskon and anger at Malak.

Keena´s abused muscles started to sluggishly respond. Her limbs reluctantly heeded her commands and she managed to tip herself over on her right side. Her right arm found the strength to push against the floor and her legs tensed to hold her weight. Next her left hand slammed into the floor and for a few precious seconds she lay there on all fours, with her limbs trembling under the strain. Then finally her legs started to raise her up.

She risked a glance towards the battle.

Malak´s lightsaber cut into Eskon´s right arm, nearly severing it. He screamed as his lightsaber fell to the floor. Next came a low chop, severing a chunk of his left thigh. Eskon screamed more and fell to his knees. Keena wasn´t aware if she was screaming physically or just mentally.

Malak laughed as he sheared off Eskon´s right ear and cheek, revealing his teeth. He then stepped back, his mouth still wide open in that hideous laughter, and raised his hand. Eskon´s two lightsabers activated and rose into the air.

Keena felt something inside of her . . . change, as they flew point first into his torso.

All the feelings of anger, doubt, and pain came flooding back, breaking the dams. All focused on Malak, and the excrement he served. She felt glorious life return to her limbs.

He was unaware of this as he swung his hand violently at the gurgling Jedi in front of him. Eskon, Guardian of the Jedi order, flew backwards into the nose of a raptor fighter. The conical tip entered his back and exited his chest.

A primal scream erupted from deep in Keena´s throat as she activated her lightsaber.

Malak turned, surprised, and barely parried the first attack.

She didn´t stop charging, just kept moving while hacking away at Malak´s defenses, feeling the Force fill her, granting her strength, granting her _power._

Blue met red, again and again. Keena was barely aware of Malak scoring several glancing hits, she just flowed with the anger, letting it guide her saber in a mad rage.

Finally Malak let the Force propel him into a huge backflip, creating enough distance, buying enough time to go on the offensive. Keena had other plans.

Her lightsaber spun out of her hand, except instead of the traditional straigth line it went into the air and took a dive aimed at Malak´s head.

Malak let that hideous grin slither onto his face again as he blocked the projectile and sent it flying way off course, no doubt thinking the fight won now that his opponent had foolishly given up her weapon.

But with his saber held up high his torso was left undefended.

Keena raised her hands and let the sick, glorious anger mingle with the Force and pumped Force lightning into his chest.

He screamed. It was the most wonderful sound she´d ever heard.

She kept the onslaught going, sending him staggering backwards as he spasmed from the energy coursing through his flesh.

His back met a raptor fighter, and he stood dazed for a moment as the attack stopped. That moment was all Keena needed to call her lightsaber back into her grasp and slice it at Malak´s head.

His jaw flew through the air. Keena absent-mindedly caught it in her left hand.

Malak let out a horrible, unintelligible gurgle as he fell down, clutching the burned ruin that had been the lower half of his face.

Keena stood over him, thoroughly enjoying the sight.

´´What´s the matter, you maggot? You were laughing so hard a moment ago. How about it?´´

She met his gaze and waved the severed jaw in his face.

´´Well?! _WHY AREN´T YOU LAUGHING?!_´´

Keena found herself giggling. She felt drunk. Her lightsaber went over her shoulder, held for a downwards chop at his undefended head.

_Keena . . ._

It wasn´t a word. Not a spoken word anyway. But she found herself turning around.

Eskon´s eyes met hers. Open in a plea.

_Don´t give in . . ._

_Why not?_

His gaze lingered for a second, maybe two. Then the light in his eyes dimmed.

For a long moment everything seemed frozen in time. In a crystalline moment of horror, the only sound being Malak´s laboured breathing.

A blaster bolt flew across the hangar. It missed. Keena looked up and automatically blocked the next one. And the next. And the next.

Troopers were flooding into the hangar. Behind them Keena sensed strong force-users.

Her feet went off, sending her up the boarding ramp of the shuttle.

Keena was vaguely aware of closing it behind her and makin for the cockpit.

She raised the shuttle off the floor and turned towards the exit.

She hit the thrusters and blasted out of the _Storm_, into the dark depths of space.


	3. Struggle 3

**One year after the destruction of the Star Forge . . .**

J-3109 was a rock of a planet. Despite supporting plant-and animal life it had no indiginous sentient species, it´s mineral content was far to low to warrant a mining operation, it was tactically insignificant and finally it´s location was far out of the way of any important lanes or worlds. In short no-one had the slightest interest in it. It was perfect.

There were no people or distractions, although she would have been lying if she told herself she´d come her for peace. There would be no peace, not ever, and she couldn´t remember anymore if there ever had been. No, she came her for the isolation itself. There were no holonet receivers or newsscreens. Nothing to remind of the past or what was happening to the galaxy. _Who_ was happening to the galaxy. She just couldn´t take it.

With immediate survival being the dominating concern Keena had over the course of her year-long, self-imposed exile made some progress in shutting out the constant background chatter of her mind and the never ending stream of memories and emotions she wanted nothing to do with. Sometimes, however, there were still days when the hunting-and-gathering for food went well and there was no threat to life or limb from predators or storms. And then it all came back, these four miserable years. All the anger and disappointments and wasted opportunities. Occasionally self-loathing poked it´s ugly head through and she cursed herself for a coward, a failure, a fool, a hypocrite, and the list went on and on . . .

No, she certainly couldn´t harbor any thoughts of peace in this place. The best she could hope for were those times when it all faded from her memory and she managed to live only in the moment. To forget, like the galaxy seemed to have forgotten.

--------------------

She was in that intermediate state she found herself in every morning, when the growing light was slowly but surely dragging her into the waking world despite her best efforts to the opposite. Keena finally conceded and stretched, cursing the fact that she had never been able to sleep except in darkness.

She had made the wreckage of her shuttle into a home, padding the inside with furs of the animals she had hunted and eaten for the last year to keep out the cold. Even during summertime J-3109 was cold. Her hand reached out as it always did in the morning and felt the cold comfort of the blaster rifle within easy reach. Keena had pretty much cleaned the immediate area of large predators but this frostbitten rock didn´t allow for carelessness. Which was why she had come here after all.

She threw off the blanket and stood up groggily, wiping the sleep from her eyes. As a young padawan she had always meditated in the morning to clear her thoughts and revitalise her body. But not any more. There was no peace to be found in the Force.

Just outside was a small stream she had redirected towards the wreck months ago. She broke the nights´ ice layer and filled a kettle. She had discovered a plant that she used as tea. It wasn´t tasty but at least broke the sensory monotony of this world.

Keena was working on getting the fire going when she felt it. In the previous few days she had been able to ignore it, block it out, but now the feeling was assaulting her with a vengeance: A bussing in the Force, a . . . beckoning. Something was coming, something important enough to ripple through the Force and apparently she was to be part of it.

´´Leave me alone . . . ´´ she muttered under her breath. ´´I´m through.´´

But it didn´t stop. It grew.

And Keena found herself lookin up before she heard it. The sounds were familiar enough. Laser cannons. Engines.

A starship battle.

She brought up the rifle and looked through it´s scope. The tiny pinpricks on the sky revealed themselves to be a small Sith scouting ship firing upon a much smaller Republic shuttle. The shuttle was firing back but was clearly outmatched. In fact it seemed to be crashing.

In a few seconds she didn´t need the scope, the ships were headed in her general direction. Just as the shuttle took a mortal hit in one of the propulsors a small object detached itself from it´s underside and dropped in the opposite direction. The two ships droned over the wreck. A few seconds later there was the unmistakeable sound of a crash.

And there Keena stood. To the north a Sith scout ship and a crashed victim of theirs. To the south a one-man escape pod. And to the west the traps she´d set up yesterday to capture rodents for food.

She fought with herself. She had wanted solitude, to forget and be forgotten! And now the Force was bringing the galaxy´s problems right back into her lap. Well, no she hadn´t _wanted _it, but that had been her decision and it had brought her the closest thing to peace she was likely to find. And yet there was a tiny part of her that wanted a chance to get off this spitball of a planet, to get back in touch with the universe at large. To settle some scores.

And there was the pull of the Force, that small but insistent voice at the back of her head that told her she had to do this. That it was _important_ she joined this whatever-it-was-this-time.

Keena reached out with her mind to the south and felt pain, fear, concern for another one. And determination. A youthful spark of energy and zeal that reminded the former padawan bitterly of her old self. But currently overshadowed by fear.

She groaned angrily and hung her head like one who has lost an argument.

´´Fine!´´

--------------------

With the less-than-generous temperatures of J-3109 Keen always slept in her clothes, including gloves and temperature-cloak, and it didn´t take long to stuff all her neccessary belongings in a backpack. With a knife in her belt and the rifle already hanging off her shoulder by the strap she was ready to go.

The landing site of the escape pod was closer than the crash so she went off into a jog through the dense pine-forest which dominated this part of the planet. By her estimates the pod had landed in a large, nearby lake and the ice certainly wouldn´t have been thick enough to handle the impact. And yet she could still sense it´s inhabitant. They must have made it out.

_Which might not make much off a difference,_ she thought when she heard the sound of a speeder bike in the distance, coming rapidly from the north. The Sith were coming to deal with the escapee.

Keena moved into a sprint, drawing speed from the Force. In less than a minute she found herself by an ancient tree much taller than the rest, one she frequently used for viewing the surrounding area. A single vertical leap landed her on one of the top branches.

In the distance she could see the lake, with a hole in the ice close to the shore. She also saw four Sith troopers on two speeder bikes cutting through the forest at the sanest speed possible. She didn´t have long.

--------------------

Even Keena´s Force enhanced legs couldn´t match the speeder bike. By the time she got to the lake the Sith had abandoned the bikes, with their footprints leading away into a section of forest too dense for the vehicles. It was clear someone had crawled out of the hole in the ice and made for the forest.

The footprints in the snow, along with the stream of fear coming from the pursued and the cold malice from the soldiers, made following easy.

Now that they had ditched the bike she could feel the gap close rapidly as she sprinted through the dense foliage, the Force guiding her past any obstacles.

As the chase led deeper in Keena recognised the area, and suspected she knew why the Sith seemed to have slowed down. This part of the forest was very old, with the trees standing very close together. The snow never touched the ground here, meaning the Sith couldn´t follow their quarry´s footprints anymore.

She decelerated down to a normal pace, treading carefully on the thick layer of old pine needles. She found herself glancing at the energy counter on the rifle, even though she knew well enough how many shots she had remaining.

Little light made it through the thick layer of branches, and the deeper the chase lead the less visibility there was. Not that there was much to see in the dense forest, but it did make the mine almost invisible. If the Force hadn´t whispered a warning Keena never would have noticed it. But there it was; a standard Republic issue anti-personnel frag mine. The Sith had probably missed it through sheer coincidence.

_Or maybe the Force has plans for them_. Despite everything Keena found herself smiling bitterly for a moment. Her old master had often talked about how certain events were destined to take place, and how amazing coincidences often seemed to round up the people, places and objects neccessary. Like props in a play.

Keena hesitated a moment before placing her hand just above it. She focused her concentration on the Force, moved the right parts and deactivated it before stuffing it in her backpack. It might come in handy.

About fifty feet deeper into the gloom she could actually hear the Sith´s footsteps on the soft needle-carpet. Their frustration shone through the Force like a beacon, as did the fear of their prey. Given the circumstances, though, Keena had to admit that fear was being handled rather well: The Sith had no idea how close they were.

And they never would.

They had spread out into a line with about thirty feet between them and were methodically advancing through the small clearing they were in, carefully scanning the environment.

Keena took cover behind a thick tree with the leftmost one forty feet in front of her. She could feel their minds; their frustration mingled with excitement and anticipation. Heartless, dyed in the wool professional killers. She saw no reason whatsoever to go easy on them.

The closest one took a bolt right in the back of the neck, his armor no match for the high-powered rifle at such a short range. Their training was better than their armors, however, and the remaining three spun around before their comrade hit the ground. The general area out of which the bolt had come was sprayed with hot death, but Keena had already lept fifteen feet in the air and landed on a sturdy branch. The next bolt went through a faceplate, a face, and the back of a head.

She jumped ahead and spun gracefully in the air on her way down with bolts whissing just above her and landed in a crouch with the rifle aimed. A stomach shot.

The last one got off a well aimed shot at her chest, but letting the Force guide her body she spun to the side like a dancer, the bolt missing by an inch.

She fired her last round, but a slight misstep placed the shot in the trooper´s shoulder. He screamed and staggered backwards, but managed to raise his blaster rifle with one hand. Keena had time to curse her misstep just before . . .

. . . the trooper blew up.

One moment he was there, the next bits of flesh and shredded armor were raining down in the clearing.

Keena stared for a moment before realising he had stepped on another mine. To an audience her shot would no doubt had looked cleverly planned.

And that was that. The first four people she had met in a year lying, and in one case splattered, dead at her feet.

The first time she had been forced to kill in the war she had felt . . . something. She couldn´t seem to remember emotions from before the . . . events, well anymore. But it had been powerful.

Now she felt nothing but a vague disdain.

Ah, but she had come here for a purpose, hadn´t she?

It wasn´t difficult to pinpoint the shining ball of youthful spark through the Force. Now the feedback had been switched from fear to guarded relief, surprise, and concern.

´´You can come out now.´´ The sentence was barely audible. Keena had gotten accustomed to only using her voice to murmur occasional thoughts out loud.

´´You can come out now!´´ she said in a half-yell. ´´Out from behind that big bush with the yellow berries on it.´´

The figured emerged, slowly, with the stiff movements characteristic of those on the edge of hypothermia.

Despite the gloom Keena recognised her immediately. She remembered everything that damn holoscreen had burned into her corneas a year ago, while everyone around her had been cheering. Everything and everyone. She had matured over the course of the year and her skin was a much paler hue due to the dip in the sub-zero lake but it was still her.

Mission Vao.

´´Wow, that was some shooting.´´ the Twi´lek managed to squeese past her numb lips. ´´Looks like I owe you one.´´

Keena had found the most worthless planet capable of supporting life she could think of and yet here was a glaring reminder of why she´d come here in the first place. She felt mocked.

´´Um . . . hello? You´re kinda spacing out there lady.´´

Keena realised she´d been silent for a while. And her face had probably registered some odd emotions.

´´Ah . . . hi.´´ Not a greeting to go down in the history books, but at least she´d kept her voice normal. More normal than she´d felt anyway.

´´My name´s . . . Anna. And you´re Mission Vao.´´ She took off her temperature cloak and wrapped it around the girl and started rubbing life back into her body.

´´Thanks. Heh, I´m still not used to the whole Saviours-Of-The-Republic celebrity stuff.´´

_Oh yeah. That was the title they were all given. _Her_ especially. _Keena pretended to look at the fallen Sith to keep the girl from seeing the sour look on her face.

´´Look, I appreaciate the help an´all, but we gotta save my friend! He was piloting the shuttle when they attacked.´´

Keena felt like an idiot. All this effort to gain solitude and the moment someone else´s problems had come within reach she´d rushed off to get involved. And now how was she to put the genie back in the bottle?

´´Look, please! He´s my best friend. I couldn´t stand it if something happened to him!´´ When Keena´s face didn´t budge the Twi´lek seemed to wrestle with herself. The fear had been replaced by concern, however, and the struggle was short.

´´Besides, we´re . . . kinda on a mission for the Republic. And you´ll want to get off this rock right?´´

_Do I? Do I really?_ But it didn´t seem to matter what she wanted: The universe had plans and expected her to fall in line like before.

´´Right, right.´´ _Might as well play along for now._

--------------------

Mission insisted on going with her to the crash site. Keena tried to subtly channel some of the healing power of the Force into her to speed up her recovery, but her grasp of the Force´s gentler aspects had seen better days, and the effect was only marginal. Instead she let the Force flow into her muscles and picked the girl up and carried her back to the speeder bikes, hoping she wasn´t making it look too easy.

Keena had put on the uniform of the trooper she´d shot in the back of the neck and taken his rifle. As long as she didn´t turn her back on the remaining Sith the disguise should hold long enough.

´´So is everything clear?´´

´´Yup. Let´s just get going. They´ll probably want him alive, but I don´t wanna take any chances.´´

´´Got the feeling in your fingers back?´´

The Twi´lek answered by pulling out her blaster and twirling it like a old holovid pistol fighter.

´´That´s some weapon you´ve got there.´´ Keena remarked, studying the large, heavily modified blaster pistol.

´´Isn´t it? Used to belong to this big-time duellist on Taris. I´ll tell you about it later.´´

It was easy to follow the trail in the snow left by the bikes. It led them in the direction of a large clearing, around the area Keena had originally assumed the shuttle had crashed. She stopped the bike by a hill on the edge of the clearing. Beyond it she sensed five minds very much like those she had snuffed out earlier, and one seething with rage and pain.

´´Right. This is it, kid. Do or die time. Are you up for a close quarter, open area firefight?´´ _Because I don´t need you getting in my way if you´re not._

´´Look lady; I was on the Star Forge. And I grew up on an alien hating pit. So, yeah, I´m up for it. Especially with a friend on the line.´´

Keena had to hand it to the girl: She really meant what she was saying. She could sense fear in her, of course, but it was dwarfed by a rock hard determination and concern for her friend.

_I_ _wonder what she´ll be like around my age._

There was nothing more to say. Mission wrapped the oversized cloak around her, and hid the blaster under it, pretending to be clutching at a wound and staggered over the hill with Keena marching behind with the rifle at her back.

The crash had been at the very center of the clearing, and the Sith had landed about halfway between it and the hill, probably out of fear of the shuttle exploding. The five Sith had gathered around a huge, hairy figure Keena recognized as a Wookie. Most likely _the_ Wookie. The one standing alongside Revan at the ceremony.

One of the Sith, one wearing officer colors, was holding a huge vibroblade of a design Keena didn´t recognise in one hand and a bowcaster in the other. They had been working the Wookie over with shock sticks and their armored boots, either as an interrogation or simply for fun, and he had multiple minor wounds and burns. He lay perfectly still, but Keena could sense his mind was still active, although weary and disorganized by pain and anger. He was most likely playing possum, hoping his captors would relax and make a mistake.

She rather unkindly nudged Mission onwards with the rifle barrel as the Sith looked up and started walking faster. They might get suspicious at any moment.

200 feet. ´´Where´s the rest?´´ asked a trooper.

Keena didn´t answer, but jabbed a thumb behind her, hoping the gesture would buy a little time.

150 feet. ´´Well? Report soldier.´´ ordered the officer.

´´By the way,´´ mumbled the girl under her breath, ´´I´m not a kid.´´

100 feet. ´´I want your report private!´´

´´Get ready´´ whispered Keena and she felt the already tense Twi´lek tense a little more. She just hoped she wouldn´t go off prematurely. They´d agreed Keena would fire the first shot.

50 feet. ´´Samson! Answer me damn it!´´

Keena risked a few more steps and, feeling the growing suspicion radiating from the Sith, raised the rifle and fired.

The energy bolt hit the officer square in the faceplate, and he fell without a sound.

Mission whipped out her monster pistol and fired at the one Sith with a raised rifle. His chest exploded.

One dropped a shock stick and went for a blaster pistol on his hip before the stick hit the ground.

Keena gunned him down before his hand closed around it and let her knees buckle and dove ahead just as a bolt whipped over her head.

The Wookie had come to life the moment none of the Sith were focusing on him and snatched up the vibroblade. It went out into a wide, powerful swing. A Sith dropped with both his legs severed at the knee.

Mission fired again and hit the remaining Sith in the head. The force of the hit not only turned his head into a pulpy mass, but also made his shoulders hit the ground before his feet did.

The amputee was stopped in mid-scream by a vibroblade severing his head in half.

Keena got up. ´´That´s that´´. The whole thing had taken moments.

´´Big Z!´´ shouted Mission and took a running leap into the Wookie´s arms.

They squeezed each other for a few moments. When he put her down she had a sudden change in additude and punched him in the arm.

´´Now that´s the last time you ever give me a scare like that again! You ever make me fear for you again and I´ll give you a pink coloring while you sleep!´´

The Wookie replied with semi-outrage and growled a mixture of apology, anger, and relief at seeing her alive and well.

Finally the towering creature seemed to notice Keena, who had been busy stripping of the hated armor, and growled a question.

´´Oh, that´s Anna. She´s been stranded here for a while and dealt with those other morons they sent after me. So much for Sith efficiency. Again.´´

´´And Anna: This is my best friend in the whole galaxy: Zaalbar.´´

´´Yeah, I realized that.´´

Zaalbar growled out a sentence, which Mission promptly translated.

´´He says he owes you one for saving my blue butt and his hairy hide. Okay, Z, relax. Nothing wrong with a little poetic licence. Shesh! Well, anyway, he says he´s in your debt, well, I guess we both are, and if there´s anything he can do to repay it you just let him know.´´

Keena had actually understood the majority of what he´d said. Revan had been an avid study of languages, the more exotic the better, and had given her informal lessons in some of them. But there was no need for them to know that.

´´Just glad to help. Looks like your ship is in a bit of a mess though.´´ Which was an obvious understatement. The shuttle´s brightest possible future involved getting stripped for spare parts.

´´Yeah. We´ll have to take the Sith ship to get back.´´

´´Aha. Good luck with that.´´ She took the cloak back from Mission and turned to leave. The whole thing had been mildly interesting and she´d gotten a fresh supply of energy cells for her rifle. Now it was back to solitude and lonelieness.

´´What?! Wait, you´re not coming with us?´´

Keena hesitated in mid-stride. Could saving these two and getting them back to whatever they were doing have been all she had been meant to do? Was she just a link in a chain of events? Would she get off this easily?

_Not bloody likely. But then I´m not a pawn, damn it! I´m an individual and individuals have choices._

´´Y´know, we could really use someone with your capabilities.´´

_You don´t know the half of it._

Keena sighed. ´´Why?´´ she said tiredly. ´´What´s going on this time?´´

The Twi´lek girl seemed really focused on being helpful and getting her off J-3109, and went into sales-pitch mode.

´´Well, there´s this new Sith Lord around, well more than one actually. After Malak bit the dust there was a lot of chaos and disorganization among the Sith but they seem to be getting their act together. It´s only a matter of time before one of them rises to the top. Anyway, this one is really nasty and the Jedi geezers back on Coruscant think he´s up to something mega-darkside while his fleet keeps us busy.´´

´´There´s always another Sith Lord.´´ Keena mumbled. She felt tired. She felt worn out. There would be plenty more Sith lords for a long time to come now that Revan had rebuilt the Sith.

_Wonder what the odds are of it being a Jedi she brought with her to the war? Another one she corrupted. Someone I know._

´´What´s his name?´´ she asked, bracing herself for an unpleasant answer.

´´Darth Eskon.´´


	4. Struggle 4

It couldn´t be him. It couldn´t. He had died four years ago. He had died and escaped Revan´s clutches.

Keena sat in the room she had taken for herself aboard the Sith scout ship, staring into her lap.

She wondered what the Twi´lek and Wookie had made of her reaction to his . . . to the name. What must she have looked like, feeling faint and sick, staggering in the snow before leaning over and slowly gaining control?

She had explained it with fatigue and hasty utterances of ´´I´ve been sick lately´´ and the like. Probably too hasty. Mission, almost sickeningly nice, had been all concern and compassion. Keena had shrugged her off with as little venom as possible. She couldn´t stand sympathy from_ her_ new circle. Not on this subject.

It had to be someone else. It wasn´t an uncommon name, after all. It was more than possible that some Sith, or Jedi turned Sith, would have the same name. But the thought . . . the very concept that she had left him behind alive on that nightmare of a ship . . . that Revan had doomed him to the darkness . . .

The thought brought out a pain and desperation she thought she had left behind.

_Okay. I´ll go with you._ she´d growled. Mission had been only too happy to hear that, and she and Zaalbar had quickly moved their luggage from the crashed shuttle to the Sith ship, destroyed the memory banks and off they went.

It had been strange to watch J-3109 disappear in the rear window. Her home, her place of refuge from the galaxy, self-imposed prison and pit. Keena had hated it, but had decided and resigned herself to spending the rest of her life on it.

Losing sight of it as they entered hyperspace had been like apparently everything else: She couldn´t decide how to feel about it.

She leaned back and ran her hands through her hair and sighed deeply. Even after a year of mere survival occupying most of her time she was still chaotic; still struggling to balance her feelings, with no respite in sight.

Peace was a distant, vague memory, made glorious and heavenly by her desire for it. And yet there was a part of her that wanted to hold on to the anger. That wanted to _hate_. That was yet another struggle going on inside her. Also with no respite in sight.

_A multi-layered conflict with skin wrapped around it_, she thought, _that´s what I am._ _Well, at least I have someone to blame it on._

Her fingers got tangled in the birds nest her hair had become, reminding her of the fact that she hadn´t had access to soap in a year. The Sith scout ship was hardly designed for luxury but it at least seemed to have a fully equipped fresher.

Keena got up and shuffled out into the hallway. She could sense Mission in the cockpit, and it didn´t take Jedi powers to sense the Wookie in the eating area, gobbling up food as quickly as the synthesiser could produce it. She would be undisturbed for now.

She stepped into the rather cramped fresher and locked the doors behind her before letting her eyes caress the sights. No leaves, bark-peels or fruit hides: Actual cleaning facilities. It looked so wonderful.

The backpack fell on the floor (she doubted either of her traveling companions would see any reason to look into it but she felt better with it in sight), along with the layers of clothes she hadn´t taken off in a year. J-3109´s temperature never went above cold and could decend to frikkin´ freezing.

Keena was pleasantly surprised to see that the shower had optional setting for either sonic or water. Sonics might have been more thorough, but nothing beat the feel of hot water cascading onto her flesh. In the three years between her escape from the _Storm_ and her exile hot showers had been just about the only thing to provide her with momentary peace of mind. Now that her inner peace had been shattered. Because of _her._

She interrupted the negative thoughts by setting the water on the highest temperature she figured her skin could tolerate and hit the ´´On´´ button.

For a good, long while she just stood there, leaning against the shower wall, letting the flow work it´s magic. Her muscles slowly unwound and she was finally able to let go for a moment, let go of the anger and confusion and just forget herself.

Finally she soaped herself up and looked at her feet as the year´s worth of dirt drained away with the water and soap.

When her skin felt like it would float away too she finally and reluctantly turned the water off and stepped out.

Completely clean.

Physically, anyway.

_Well, didn´t take long for that thread to return, did it?_ she thought bitterly as she started to dry herself off.

A mirror was another thing she hadn´t had access to and she posed in front of a mirror, examining the woman that stared back at her.

Her figure had changed a bit, the hard life on J-3109 having turned her fit shape into a wiry, almost scrawny frame. Her dark hair was longer than she´d ever conciously let it grow. And once her skin cooled down from the shower she would no doubt be quite pale. Sunlight was a commodity on J-3109. Otherwise, she looked more or less the same.

Keena´s index finger found the scar on her belly, left there by Mandalore´s short sword, wielded by Sith Lord Revan.

Her fingernail scraped the dull, unfeeling scar tissue. The pain, the shock. And worst off all, the betrayal. It came back more clearly than anything else of that time. That and Revan´s sweet, poisoned voice.

Keena had had plenty of time to wonder when it had started. When had Revan, and Malak, started turning? When had the war become about them rather than saving the Republic? When did the people who placed their faith in her become expendable statistics?

´´I hate you Revan.´´ she whispered. ´´I do hate you.´´

Keena hung her head, avoiding the blazing anger in her reflections´ eye. The bliss of the shower had faded and the familiar bitterness floated to the surface.

She had gone to that horrible war at Revan´s beckoning. Bled and suffered in body and mind. All to protect the Republic and live up to the ideals of the Jedi Order, whether the masters would acknowledge it or not. She´d placed her trust in Revan and followed her to hell. And it had cost her everything she held dear.

And now the treacherous bitch was hailed as a hero. Held up as a shining example of the strength of the light over the darkness. While Keena drifted around with her mind split in two. A wretched half-finished conversion to the Dark Side.

Yes, that about summed it up. The Dark Side had its hook in her, filled her with anger and doubt. And yet it didn´t run quite deep enough to smother what she had been raised to by the Order. So the two were in a tug-of-war with her mind, never easing up on the tension . . .

Keena slapped herself.

´´Stop it.´´ she growled. ´´Just stop it already.´´

She took a deep breath and tried to focus inwards, to find peace within the Force. As usual the effect was marginal.

She switched tactics and focused on the reason she´d left J-3109. Yes, Eskon. There was a possibility he was still alive. That her one remaining friend in the galaxy, the one who had saved her, was still alive.

(_that´s not_)

And she couldn´t just sit on her butt and pretend the universe didn´t exist anymore.

(_that´s not why you left_)

She didn´t know what, but she had to do something, anything.

(_admit it to yourself_)

And the first step would be to gather information on what had been going on in the last year.

(_you want to punish her_)

And the Twi´lek sure seemed willing to discuss things.

(_because no one else will . . . or has the right to_)

Keena gathered up her clothes and threw them into a washer. She sat down as it went to work and tried to think of something positive. By the time the machine finished she was still trying.

--------------------

´´Oh, hey.´´ Mission looked up from the Paazak-card house she was building as Keena walked into the cockpit.

´´Hey yourself.´´ Keena put all her effort into producing a convincing smile and felt rather proud of the result. ´´Can I disturb your Saviourness for a moment?´´ She even managed a friendly, teasing tone.

The Twi´leks cheeks went a darker shade of blue and she squirmed uncomfortably. ´´Awww, come on, don´t do that. It´s a bit of a change of pace to go from being a guttersnipe on a world of racist humans to being fawned over. Don´t think I´ll ever get used to it. I´ve been offered book deals, for crying out loud! I used to pickpocket gangsters to afford food!´´

Keena laughed. The diplomacy skills her master had worked so hard to imprint in her were finally paying off, it seemed.

She sat down in the copilot´s chair and hugged her knees up to her chest.

´´Well, I´ve been out of the loop for a year now. Could you give me the lowdown on current events? Or am I going to have to save your life again?´´

Mission chuckled. ´´Well, no, I think one time should get you that at least. What to you want to know?´´

Keena thought about starting off with something mundane; sports-events, political news, or recent holovid blockbusters.

´´How´s the war going?´´ it came out more or less on it´s own. ´´I crashed just after you guys had your face plastered on every screen in the galaxy. So, you guys dealt with Malak, and the Sith scattered. What happened then?´´

´´Well, the Sith army had it´s head chopped off, sure. But that´s the problem with those guys: There´s always someone looking to climb the ranks anyway. There were a few optimistic months of the Republic basically kicking the snot out of them.´´ She sighed. ´´But now there is a bunch of Sith Masters rising up, each one (naturally) declaring himself Dark Lord. The chaos and infighting has been giving us an edge, but the Jedi Geezers are sure it´s only a matter of time before one crushes the others, or they reach some kind of truce.´´

´´So what are the "Jedi Geezers" doing?´´ She found herself honestly smiling for a moment. The girl´s levity was a bit contagious.

´´Well, they can´t really do much more than the Republic.The Fleet is stretched really thin, dealing with the different Sith leaders, and the Jedi are stretched even more thin since . . . well, they´ve been dying a lot n´all.´´

´´So basically it doesn´t look good for the Republic?´´ Again that damnable sense of not knowing how to feel. She had been raised and trained to protect the Republic. But for what? Revan had done her job well.

Mission was silent for a few moments, and Keena felt her mood sink a little before reestablishing itself. ´´Well: Things looked pretty damn hopeless two years ago right? And here we are.´´

´´Yeah, here we are. So, what´s your part in all this anyway?´´ Keena´s soul burned with the desire to skip right ahead and ask about Eskon. But she didn´t want to make her suspicious. And part of her wanted to delay as long as possible.

´´Me? Well, Zaalbar´s been doing some scouting for the fleet dealing with Eskon. And I´ve been helping him out with some technical expertise and translation. Besides: wherever Big Z goes, I go.´´

´´Scouting? Out here? For what?´´

´´Well, Darth Eskon´s carved himself a slice of Sith space not to far from here, and is basing his attacks from there. The Republic has set up an outpost on a planet nearby, Brim, which we´re headed for. Well, nobody´s really sure what he´s up to, he´s not really advancing all that hard, sooo we´re trying to find out.´´ Mission gathered up her cards and looked away. ´´But . . . ah . . . I really shouldn´t tell you much more. We´re supposed to stay all hush-hush.´´

´´No problem.´´ Keena had felt the girl slowly relaxing, but now her guard was taking a slight rise. She would need to get her relaxed again.

´´What about you "heroes of our age"? What happened to you?´´

Mission took a moment to fight down the automatic embarrassed grin at the phrase.

´´Well, Carth, Carth Onasi, was promoted and given command of a small force. He´s in charge of dealing with Eskon. Me and Z have mostly been working with him, officially as ´´Civilian Advisors´´. And Canderous . . . well, he was a Mandalorian an´ all. Had this big warrior thing going on. But I think he felt that after fighting first against "the single greatest warrior of our age", and then besides her . . . and surviving, well, nothing would ever be able to equal that. He had . . . I guess you´d call it some kind of epiphany, and left. I don´t know where or when. I think he needed to take a deep, hard look at his life, in private. Jolee, he was the old Jedi coot, except he wasn´t really a Jedi, left too. He said something about his part in the grand scheme of things to be well and truly over. The Geezers tried to talk him into rejoining the Order, but he said he was too old to change and he´d damn well done his part. Bastila went to the Jedi Temple on Coruscant for a while, what with the . . .´´

Keena felt the girl catch herself. Felt the momentary shock of almost revealing a secret, and the hasty scramble to cover it up. Interesting.

´´ . . . I mean, she hadn´t really completed her training, and with Malak dead they felt the fleet could do without her Battle Meditation for a while. But she´s back now, smacking fleets around with her brain. She´s been moving back and forth a lot, between battlefronts.´´

´´And the Cathar?´´ Keena felt like she physically _needed_ to ask about Revan, but fought the impulse down. Barely. She didn´t want to betray anything more than a casual interest in the group as a whole.

´´Juhani? Oh, she was promoted to a full Jedi Knight a few months after the whole Star Forge thing. The Council was really impressed with the way she handled herself during the whole thing, just wanted to wait a little and make sure she had the whole Cathar temper thing under control. She´s been working hard in the struggle, mostly with Tana. They´re good friends, and the Geezers said something about them watching each other.´´

_Tana. Yeah, that´s the name the Jedi gave her. How . . . mundane. Doesn´t suit her._

´´And Tana . . . well, she´s a Jedi again. Doing Jedi things. Mostly she´s on the front lines, sticking it to the Sith in any way possible. Hardest working Jedi in the business. Seriously. Everyone´s worried about her pushing herself too hard. I don´t get to meet her as much as I´d like, but the last time I confronted her about it. She just said that when I caused the bloodiest war in recent history I would understand.´´

_Oh. Ha, ha. Humor Revan? I´m glad the whole thing amuses you._

Keena snatched up a Paazak card and pretended to study it in great detail.

´´So tell me,´´ she asked as casually as she could manage, ´´doesn´t the whole causing-the-bloodiest-war-in-recent-history thing bother you? Sith Lords tend to have rather spotty records, you know.´´

Mission just sighed and gave a tired little smile, obviously used to the question. Somehow that smile really bothered Keena.

´´Yeah, well . . . look: Revan did some horrible things, yes. But Tana isn´t Revan anymore. Revan might as well be dead. The Jedi gave her a new identity and she built herself around it. Like I told her: she is who she is now. She has gotten back a few memories over time, but she says it´s like looking at a holovid: They don´t feel like memories. Besides: By the time we found out about it she was my best friend aside from Big Z. I can´t not stand by my friend, especially one who´s stood by me and pulled my butt out of the fire again and again.´´

_Well, you´ve only seen the best of her._

Keena forced herself to smile. It felt stiff and false and painful.

´´Yeah, you´re probably right.´´ She put the card down.

_And then she grabbed the girl by the shoulders and shook her. ´´Do you realise what you´re talking about? Do you realise what she´s done?! I hate her! I hate her with all my heart!´´_

Keena shook her head and dismissed the image. So far, so good. She couldn´t afford to lose control now.

She took a deep breath.

´´So . . . this Eskon guy. Who is he? Another big, bad Jedi turncoat on the road to a beating?´´

´´Yeah . . .´´ Keena felt something inside clench.

´´ . . . he was one of the Jedi who went with Ta . . . uh, Revan and Malak to fight the Mandalorians. But that´s really all we know about him. That´s part of what´s got everyone so worried. Nobody knows what he´s planning to . . .´´

Mission´s voice faded into the background along with the hum of the ship engines. Keena was vaguely aware of getting up and staggering to the fresher. She locked the door behind her, half fell, half knelt by the toilet and puked.

_She took him. The bitch took him and twisted him. She put him through the wringer just like me, except there was no-one there to save him halfway through, oh no, she twisted and polluted him all the way. Because he came for me. He could have run, why didn´t he just run, why I am left alone in this mess? What am I going to do? Do? More like what should I have done? I could have saved him, why didn´t I save him . . . Now he´s lost too, just like Malak and. it´s. her. fault._

´´Annie?´´ Mission was knocking on the door. ´´Annie! Are you okay?´´

Keena hacked and spat into the toilet bowl. ´´Just dandy . . .´´

She rather shakily walked over to the sink and rinsed her mouth. Her eyes met those of her mirror opposite.

´´What are you going to do?´´ she whispered. ´´What are you going to do when you meet them?´´

What she did do for the moment was to open the door, to reveal a concerned-looking Mission.

´´Sorry. Like I said; I came down with something and it´s not quite over with yet, it seems.´´

´´Maybe you oughta just go to bed.´´

Keena put on her best sick-yet-tough look. ´´No, I´ll be fine. Besides, I want to hear more. I haven´t had any contact with anyone for a year.´´

So they went back to the cockpit. The Wookie, amazingly, was still eating.

The talk turned to more mundane issues; Paazak tournaments, holovids, this year´s blob races and so on.

Although Keena´s strongest gift with the Force had always been in manipulating it around herself and enhancing her own capabilities, she was also gifted in empathy. And throughout the conversations she kept her Jedi senses on the Twi´leks aura. Her mind was strong, but she was getting more and more at ease in Keena´s presence. Good, she wanted this to be subtle.

´´ . . . yeah, so anyway, I was wondering about something earlier and forgot all about it. Just how much memory does Re . . . does Tana have of her Sith Lord days? Does she have any inside knowledge the Republic can use?´´

´´No, not really. She told me she doesn´t remember events or places all that much. It´s mostly people, faces and emotions. But even that´s pretty vague. We´re lucky she even remembered enough about the Star Maps. Well, lucky as in flying-all-around, defying-death, dodging-Sith-at-every-turn kind of lucky.´´

´´Sounds like you all had a pretty wild ride there.´´

´´We sure did.´´

´´I´d like to know more about it.´´ Her next words came out with a push of Force power behind them. ´´I´ve earned your trust. There´s no harm in telling me.´´

Mission stared for a moment into the teacup she had been drinking from.

´´You know, I´d say you´ve earned my trust. There´s no harm in giving you the whole story.´´

So Keena listened as Mission told her everything. Revan . . . Tana, becoming the glue holding together a motley crew of individuals, each with their own problems. How "Tana" had dealt with each of these individuals and drawn them to her by listening, caring and helping. How she helped a young Cathar padawan overcome her inner demons and drew her out from the darkness. How she reunited a jaded soldier with his estranged son. How a padawan buckling under a crushing responsibility had found a friend and confidant in her, a friendship that later helped bring her back into the light just in time to buy victory for the Republic. And so on and so on.

The stories were different, but the main themes were the same: Revan doing her usual thing; Gathering people around her, and making them love her. So much in fact that they trusted her completely and would go anywhere and brace any danger by her side.

Keena knew the feeling. It all sounded so horribly familiar.

So that answered that. Revan might have a new name, new memories, and apparently a clean slate, but she remained basically the same.

_Would it have mattered if she was utterly different? With no memory of the past and hated by all? Would you have felt any different? You´re completely set in your course aren´t you? Like a Bantha with blinders on._

Keena had no answer to that voice. She rarely did.

´´Well,´´ she got up and forced on a weary smile, ´´it´s been fun talking but I haven´t slept in a real bed in a year.´´

´´Yeah, I guess even a Sith military bunk will seem like paradise. Hey, uh . . .´´ Mission flipped a card through her fingers and looked a little uncomfortable. ´´I´d appreciate it if you didn´t tell anyone I told you all this.´´

Keena couldn´t suppress a little smile. ´´Don´t worry about it.´´

_After all:_ _Revan won´t mind. She´ll be too distracted to care when I find her._


	5. Struggle 5

The journey was uneventful enough. Occasionally Mission would talk Keena into a Paazak game, on the grounds that Zaalbar was a sore loser. In between games the former Padawan mostly sat alone in her room and pondered her next course of action.

She knew Brim. It was a pit. Decades ago it had been a colony on the edge of Republic space, but a lack of proper organisation and just plain bad location had led it to degenerate fast. Smugglers and outlaws on both sides of the borders soon discovered the pros of a world with no government or law enforcement. Eventually enough of various scum made it their base of operations that various companies set up camp to get their hands on some dirty money. And of course a world with no government or law enforcement, but plenty of casinos, brothels, shops, fancy hotels and so on was even more attractive for a certain kind of people. It wasn´t long before the population boomed. So in a strange way Brim had prospered and degenerated at the same time.

During her wandering years, Keena had occasionally kept food on the table by doing some freelance work for borderline legal, and sometimes downright illegal groups. Smuggling mostly. She had soon become highly recommended in the smuggling rings, even though she managed to keep her powers a secret. Clients simply put her abilities down to intuition, reflexes and skills.

The transition from Jedi Guardian to freelance smuggler was not lost on her.

The latter parts of this rather inglorious career change had let Keena see altogether more of Brim than she had ever wanted to. The oppressive aura of collected greed had been nothing compared to the cloak the Dark Side had pulled over her eyes at the end of the war, but it was unpleasant enough.

And now Mission was headed there, because the portion of the Fleet dedicated to fighting Darth Eskon was stationed there.

_Why is he attacking this area? It´s nothing. There´s nothing of any interest here. That´s exactly why I chose it. He´s not Revan, true, but he´s still a clever strategist. It doesn´t make sense . . ._

It felt good to concentrate on the tactical aspects of the situation. It distracted her from having to think about the two confrontations she seemed destined for. However, despite the basic understanding of the subject she´d picked up from watching Revan at work, no matter which way she turned it it still didn´t make any sense. He was attacking a sector of space populated by smuggler planets and small Republic outposts. No wonder the Republic admirals and the "Jedi Geezers" were scratching their heads. There had to be something more to it. But damned if she could figure out what.

And when she finally gave up on trying to divine Eskon´s thought process the only thing left for her mind to turn to was the upcoming decisions she damn well would have to make eventually.

A knock on the door brought a sigh of relief from Keena.

´´Anna? We´re almost there.´´

She followed Mission to the cockpit. The Twi´lek took them out of hyperspace, and blue swirl turned into the rather unwelcome sight of Brim, five Republic battle ships in orbit.

The nearest one hailed them.

´´_Sith ship: State your intention or we _will_ open fire._´´

Mission swiftly sent her identification code and explained the situation.

´´Relax guys. We had a little accident and had to commandeer this thing. I need to talk to General Onasi. Authorisation MZ-8211´´

There was a short pause.

´´_Mission!´´_

The Wookie growled loudly.

´´_. . . and Zaalbar._´´

Mission laughed. ´´Hey, old man. I see you´re just cooling your heels while we do the grunt work.´´

_´´Absolutely. This pit has a surprising amount of tourist traps. I trust you went ahead and saved the galaxy while we were enjoying ourselves?´´_

´´More or less. I´ll give you the whole story face to face.´´

´´_Right. See you_.´´

Mission maneuvered the ship into the landing bay of Onasi´s flagship, the _Retaliator_.

Keena reached out slightly through the Force. There were Jedi nearby, either on one of the ships or the planet. She pulled back hurriedly, hoping she hadn´t been noticed, and pulled a mental cloak over herself, disguising herself from the Force.

She didn´t need to run into disciples of the Order now. Didn´t need the hassle.

_Anyway, what now?_

_´´Hey there General, would you mind pointing me in the direction of Darth Eskon. Me and him go way back, and no I´m not going to help him fight the Republic. Promise.´´ _

_´´Got room for a Jedi-turned-drifter-turned-smuggler-turned-hermit?´´ _

_´´So where´s your beloved leader? I owe her big time.´´_

Probably best to just wing things for now.

A man came over to escort Mission and Zaalbar to the General´s quarters. Mission, of course, insisted on introducing them.

´´Come on, you´ll get along like a house on fire. He´ll appreciate you helping us out. C´mon!´´ The girl pulled on her arm with a smile and Keena forced out one of her own. She really didn´t know how to feel about the Twi´leks spirit. On one hand it´s innocent charm was a nice change. On the other hand she didn´t feel much like being cheered up.

It felt odd to walk the decks of a Republic ship again. The _Retaliator _was a different design than the _Storm_, but it looked very much the same from the inside. The same design style; soft angles and warm earth colors mixed in with the cold metal. People of various races in Fleet uniforms going about their business, occasionally exchanging greetings with each other. The symbol of the Republic wherever one looked.

Keena felt a sudden pang of nostalgia. If not for the lack of notice anyone paid her, she might have been on her way to one of Revan´s meetings.

The walk ended outside the generals receiving room, and the guide went his way.

_Just me and three of Revan´s new family. This is . . . surreal._

Mission walked in without announcing herself, dragging Keena and the ever silent Wookie with her.

´´Carth!´´

Carth Onasi. She´d heard about him during the war. Since that day on the Rakatan homeworld he´d gotten a shave and was wearing a uniform according to his new rank. Otherwise he looked more or less the same. He even still wore the gunbelt with a blaster on each hip. He looked up from the datapad he´d been studying and smiled. Not a courtesy smile; an honest, warm smile. There was no mistaking the cameradery between the three. She remembered the feeling.

Even the Wookie brightened up and howled a greeting.

Onasi laughed. ´´Nice to see you too, Zaalbar.´´

Mission gave Carth a quick hug and handed him a datapad with a fully detailed report. Carth was impressed.

´´We´ll make a decent citizen out of you yet.´´

´´Don´t count on it, old man.´´

Carth took a quick glance at the report before putting it down and sending a questioning glance Keena´s way.

´´Oh. Anna, I´d like you to meet Carth Onasi, self-proclamed handsomest pilot in the galaxy . . .´´

´´ . . . I was joking Mission . . .´´

´´And Carth; this is Anna. She crashed on that planet a year ago and helped us out. Well, saved our butts, really.´´

Carth smiled at Keena and shook her hand. ´´Well, miss, I gotta give you my gratitude. These two are my friends. Welcome aboard the _Retaliator._´´

Keena couldn´t manage much more than a shrug and a ´´my pleasure.´´

The general was chatty too, and was all too interested in getting to know about her. Occupation, home, family, last name. She gave him the same answers she gave Mission. Freelance scout, between jobs at the time of the crash, born on Deralia, no family, full name Anna Kolm.

Keena kept a watchful eye on his Force aura, looking for any suspicion. She found none. Either he was the trusting type or Mission´s word was good enough for him.

Some amount of small talk followed. Carth offered everyone seats and drinks.

´´So, what are you going to do now?´´ Mission asked. ´´A year of being stuck on an iceball . . . nothing to do. Find some overpriced resort planet and live it up?´´

_Tie up some loose ends with the big bad Sith Lord on one hand, and your great friend on the other._

´´I . . . ah, haven´t really thought about it.´´

´´Oh, I know! Carth, can´t you hire her for something? You should have seen her handle those Sith suckers. Canderous would have proposed to her on the spot!´´ It a came out a little too quickly and smoothly. The little brat had probably been planning it for a while.

Keena sighed under her breath. Mission really was determined to be helpful. She found herself strangely touched, mixed with anger at having her business minded for her.

Carth smiled. ´´Sure, we can always use good people. Especially with the situation the way it is. What to do you think. Interested?´´

She couldn´t think of a reason to immediately refuse. ´´What is the situation, anyway? Mission gave me the basics on it . . .´´

´´Well, we know Eskon´s got a fleet just beyond the Sith borders, but he hasn´t really been using it. We do know his fleet is large enough to be a problem, and rumor has it he was one of Revan´s military advisors. But mostly he´s been sending in scouts and making quick raids. We also have indication he´s inserted quite a lot of spies and undercover people into the sector. We have people working on flushing them out but we still have no idea why he did it. I´m pretty sure he´s not gonna sit on his hands forever, though. It´s going to get nasty, probably sooner rather than later.

As for a job; I could sign you up as a contract mercenary or a civilian advisor. So what do you think?´´

_What DO I think?_ On one hand it might get her close to Eskon (although damned if she knew what to do then), and she would even get paid while doing it. On the other one she would have to spend her time in close quarters with these people. And of course there would be the chance of someone seeing through her hastily concocted identity. She hadn´t been as visible as Revan or Malak or, to a lesser extent, Eskon, but she was still part of the Jedi Archives and any Jedi might recognise her. And then she´d have to explain her four year absence, while coming up with a reason for showing up with a fake name, on top of convincing everyone that she wasn´t a Sith spy.

_Well, what _am_ I for that matter? What am I going to do? And when and how? Nice mess. Thank you Revan._

´´Well, things have changed a lot since I crashed. I have some catching up to do. If it´s okay with you general Onasi, I´d like to think about it for a while.´´

´´Hey, no problem, I understand. We have a few spare bunks if you´d like to stay on board for a while. We´ll be staying in orbit for at least a few more days. Or you could get yourself a hotel room down on Brim. It has some surprisingly nice ones.´´

A hotel. A nice, private hotel room to be all alone with her thoughts. It was her first choice, her first automatic reaction. But the familiar cameradery and friendship between these people brought back the haunting nostalgia.

_I can´t afford to get emotional now . . ._

Another voice cut her off.

_Hah! Yeah right you hypocrite! Emotions are the only things driving you on these days. What else do you have? Revan took your devotion, your trust and your loyalty._

´´A bunk sounds nice, general Onasi.´´

He flashed a charming smile. ´´Please, call me Carth, miss Kolm.´´

That, of course, only left one polite option. ´´Anna.´´

Mission, of course, lit up, and as far as Keena could tell Zaalbar was pleased.

´´So your staying? Great! I´m running out of people to play Pazaak with. Oh, that reminds me: I promised Kel a rematch when I´d get back. Come on Z!´´

She latched onto his arm and although she couldn´t budge him the incessant tugging eventually spurred him into rising with a weary sigh.

On her way past Keena, the Twi´lek leaned towards her and whispered . . .

´´He´s single you know.´´

. . . before winking and dragging the grumbling Wookie with her.

_Now she´s playing matchmaker?_

She half-laughed during a fleeting image of strangling the insufferably charming brat with her own head-tails.

´´So . . . bunk?´´

Carth issued her a temporary identity card as a guest so she wouldn´t be hassled by security, although he assured her she would only need it for a little while. News traveled quickly on a ship after all.

He showed her to an unused, one-man bunk, two levels down.

´´Well, it isn´t Hotel Gyrwel, but I hope it´ll do.´´

´´I´ve gotten used to sleeping in a shuttle wreck on a frozen spitball. Anything will be good in comparison.´´

She took a moment to examine him. Yes, she had to admit it, he was good looking. It only took a quick rewind to him standing beside Revan outside that temple to quell any such thoughts, however. Keena had a sudden impulse to throw the truth in his face, to tell him exactly how she´d ended up on J-3109, just to see his reaction. It would no doubt be special.

´´Well, thank you gen . . . Carth.´´

´´No problem. Let me know when you decide. Now, I supposedly have a battle fleet to run.´´ He sighed. ´´Used to be my only concern was piloting.´´

He turned to leave, but suddenly stopped and turned towards her.

´´Look, I really meant what I said back there. We joke and jibe, but those two really mean a lot to me, especially Mission. Almost like the daughter my wife alway wanted. Um . . . anyway, just . . . thank you. Again.´´

More gratitude. It stirred something inside of her. Something she wanted to let lie.

´´Right.´´

She stepped inside the bunk and closed the soundproof door behind her, letting the silence and the darkness wrap around her.

Keena lay down on the bed, and stared up at the ceiling she couldn´t see. Stared through it, stared at the confrontations with Revan and Eskon. An unending amount of scenarios, of possibilities, played through her mind. She had no idea what would happen. No idea at all. Eskon had been twisted into a tool of the Dark Side by Revan, and Revan herself was supposedly ´´redeemed´´. She didn´t know what to expect from either of them.

And certainly not what to expect from herself. Because of Revan.

She closed her eyes, an action made redundant by the darkness, and breathed in the hatred.

Well, there was one thing she could be sure of beyond any doubt. Whatever happened, it wouldn´t be pretty.


	6. Struggle 6

**Author´s note**: Wow, thanks for the positive feedback everyone! I just hope I´ll be able to maintain the quality of my little story.

Sorry, I didn´t realise I was blocking anonymous reviews. Many thanks to snackfiend101 for pointing it out.

And sanitycloud10: Sorry, but I don´t think Canderous will be showing up. I figure in anything other than a game a mere mortal doesn´t stand a chance against a Jedi, no matter how cool. And given Keena´s opinion of Mandalorians and Dark Side issues . . . well, let´s just say than when Candy made some inevitable smartass comment or another his fans wouldn´t like the consequences. And neither would Canderous. :)

Kosiah: Thanks for the help and comments. As for Carth´s marital status, or lack thereof, the answer is very simple, but you´ll find out soon enough.

Anyway, here´s chapter six. Let me know what you think.

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The doors on the small transport slid open and the sight of Brim City greeted Keena as she stepped out.

A mixture of beat up colony buildings, many of them converted into something else, freshly built casinos, cantinas and hotels, and storage houses. The kind of streets one gets when there is no official waste management, although some of the richer places hired people to clean up in their immediate area. And the people: A motley sea of grungy thugs, merchants, spacers, crooks, hobos, and those who judging by their clothes and bodyguards were either nobles or crime lords. Or both.

The soldiers who had come down on shore leave came out one by one, splitting into small groups and going their seperate ways.

Kel Hew, a male Zabrak barely out of his teens, stopped and turned towards her.

´´Are you going to be alright all by yourself out here?´´

--------------------

When she finally left the room given to her yesterday (after a nap and a long, hot shower), Keena wandered around the ship to clear her mind.

That was the plan anyway, until she found herself being constantly approached by various crewmembers, all insisting on shaking her hand and inviting her to various social interactions as soon as their shift ended. Mission and Zaalbar, apparently, had made a lot of friends on board. Damn it all.

In the three years following the _Storm_ she´d managed to keep her interactions with other sentients at a minimum. Part of it had of course been the fact that if she couldn´t trust the friends she´d gone through fire and brimstone with, who could she trust? How could she ever let her guard down? However, in her more introspective and honest moments, she recognized that a good portion of it was a need for isolation. For . . . punishment. She´d been completely blind to the growing infection in her friends . . . and herself. She´d let Revan get in her head and make her doubt and question everything she´d held dear. She´d . . .

She´d let Eskon down, although she hadn´t known how badly at the time.

No-one she met during those years knew that, of course. Still, Keena couldn´t shake the feeling that on some level they did. That her failure and corruption was on some level detectable, like a subtle but upleasant odour. She´d gotten used to being by herself.

The year of total isolation, with only the unpleasant company of her own inner voices, had cemented her need for solitude.

And now she was on a capital ship full of people who wanted to talk to her. Keena´s need for a pleasant outer appearance and a certain sense of propriety she´d never been able to fully shake kept her from forcefully rebutting these people, but she wondered how long she could keep it up.

So she went to the most secluded and empty part of the ship her civilian status allowed her, which turned out to be a reserve escape pod area, intended for an emergency in which some or all of the primary pods were destroyed.

She sat down heavily in a corner. Simply retreating back to the bunk would in some weird way have felt like defeat.

What to do? There was of course the option of taking Carth up on his offer and float along with his fleet. Eventually there would be fighting and there was the, ever so slim, possibility of her encountering Eskon.

_And then what are you going to do? In the middle of a battle between the Sith and Republic? Apologize for leaving his mangled hide behind with the two monsters? Throw your arms around him and say it´s good to see him again? Or, just for laughs, try to talk him out of doing what he´s doing? You, of all people preaching about the merits of the Light Side? Ha! Might as well start dancing and singing for all the good it´ll do. Face it: You have no idea what you´re doing!_

Then Kel had shown up, doing a routine checkup on the escape pods. He´d recognized her and, of course, shook her hand and invited her to share a table with him and his friends during lunch. Bloody hell.

The dining area, full of talking people as it was, felt claustophopic and stifling, with the din of dosens of conversations turning into a chaotic jumble she couldn´t filter through.

Kel and his friends had, of course, told her war stories and described Mission´s escapades, into which she unfailingly dragged Zaalbar, talked about their lives back home and anything else that came to mind. Inevitably the subject turned to Revan. Revan and the way she´d found the strength to reject the Dark Side and her position as Dark Lord and saved the Republic, cut the feet under the Sith war effort and brought new hope to the fight.

Keena had surprised herself by holding out through the whole thing, calmly excusing herself from the table at the end of the lunch hour and making it back to her bunk without throwing lightning bolts at random people.

She was not going to hold out. Aside from the scratchy, irritating noice voices had become for her, looking at all these young faces in Republic unifroms all she could think about was the war. She´d mingled with the soldiers on board of the _Storm_ to earn their trust, she´d fought with every ounce of strength in her body and soul, never allowed herself a break, killed and bled with ´´For the Jedi and the Republic´´ on her lips. She´d even, without knowing it at the time, tried to talk Revan from the path she´d chosen.

And Eskon, of course, had done so much more. And what was their reward? How did the Universe reward their efforts and sacrifices?

She´d felt the Force boiling within her, storming, begging for violent release.

Keena had settled for beating her fists into the mattress until she couldn´t lift her arms anymore.

Finally she´d crawled exhausted under the blanket and lain there in quiet, simmering anger. The injustice of it all _burned_.

She would have to make her own justice.

-------------------

Keena met Kel´s wide-eyed, innocent gaze, slightly amused by his concern. She wondered if he´d ever faced a charging squad of Mandalorian savages in heavy armor and sporting ludicrously oversized blasters.

´´I think I´ll manage Kel, thank you. But it´s still nice to know I can turn to you for protection.´´ That last comment actually made her laugh, but she managed to disguise it as a cough.

Without further ado she walked off into the grimy sea of Brim´s scummy residents. She had work to do.

--------------------

With all her worldly possessions either on her body or in the backpack and with the rifle slung over her shoulder she had nothing to fear from pickpockets, and anyone making a grab for the bag or Keena´s person would be easily dealt with, so she walked confidently and swiftly down Brim City´s streets.

Unfortunately she´d been here often enough to know her way around, and anyway the steadily more dangerous and grimy appearance of the citizenry told her she was heading the right way.

All too soon she was standing at the entrance of The Black Boot, Brim´s most disreputable cantina. It was where the low-level thugs and hired bullies came in between jobs and leg breaking to either drink away their credits, start a fight, settle a score, or plan tomorrow´s leg breaking.

Pol Svikari could be found here during most of his free time. He claimed to like the ambiance.

Given that Pol had official bounties on his head in just about every civilized part of the galaxy it was unlikely that he had moved his base of operations away from Brim during the last year, and, no matter how much Keena disliked it, he was her best shot.

She took a deep breath and stepped through the doors.

Not much had changed. Gamorreans, Rodians, Aqualish and Trandoshans, doing nothing to dispel the stereotypes of their species, were noticeably numerous. Of course there was quite a lot of humans as well. The bartender´s bodyguard droid had seen a few more repairs and the girls dancing behind the blaster-proof force field were different. Otherwise The Black Boot was exactly the same.

Pol was at his usual spot, a table up on the balcony. On her way up a drunken gangster tried to engage her, but suddenly found himself more interested in going back to his drink.

Pol hadn´t changed either. Brown hair graying at the temples. Six gangly feet tall. Apparently shabby, poorly maintained clothing Keena knew was actually a cleverly disguised, sophisticated Echani armor. Custom built blaster at his hip. And those small, calculating eyes, with crow´s feet and heavy eyebrows.

Keena pulled up a chair at the table and sat down.

´´Hello Pol.´´

Those mean little eyes widened as much as they ever did. Keena felt his surprise at her reappearance. Surprise and . . . something else. She had no special desire to know what and withdrew her Force senses.

´´Keena? Well . . . how about that? Back from the dead? You went off the radar so fast everyone had written you off.´´

´´Not dead Pol. Just busy. And I´m here for a reason.´´ She kept her voice curt and business-like, like she´d always done when around him. And did her best to ignore the slimy voice accompanying the slimy eyes. At least the slimy hands kept to themselves.

´´Oh? Why is that?´´ He grinned lazily and his long, thin fingers tapped the rim of his glass.

_Well, you little puke, I got some things to take care of, but first I need some schmuck to get me the stuff I need for it._

´´I need a few things, fast, and you´re the one to get it for me. I know you know every fence and dealer on this planet.´´

´´That I do, Keen. Whatcha need?

Keena handed him a datapad she aquired aboard the _Retaliator_. He ran his eyes over it.

´´Well, I can get you some of this pretty quick. Some might take a little longer. You got the credits?´´

´´I will soon enough.´´

´´Heh. Of course. You always were . . . resourceful. Anything else?´´

´´A "kit".´´ she said, referring to the set of gadgets needed to hack into a ship´s security system, change its identity code and so on. Extremely illegal, of course

The grin stretched wider, revealing quite a lot of flesh.

´´Gotten tired of that old bucket you fly around? You know, the _Blue_ _Wing_ has a copilots chair . . .´´

´´Oh, good. Then you have somewhere to put your feet up on those long, lonely flights. A kit, Pol.´´

He laughed. ´´Sure kid. Can´t blame a guy for hoping. I´ll get back to you when I have something. You got a communicator?´´

´´No. Just come and meet me at the . . .´´ Keena scanned her memory for a reasonably priced but inhabitable hotel. ´´. . . The Friendly Tach.´´

´´Will do.´´ Keena got up and made her way down the stairs.

--------------------

Despite everything Pol Svikari had a reputation for coming through for people willing to part with their credits, except of course if someone with more credits didn´t want him to. Although she had no fear of him, Keena figured it would be a whole lot smoother to actually pay him than not.

It was an easy feat to pickpocket some credits off a drunken Rodian. Even easier to find a dice game in a casino. And with a little help from the Force, winning over and over again was a breeze.

A couple of hours after leaving The Black Boot Keena was significantly richer. She couldn´t help but wonder what her old Master would have thought of such a use of the Force. Well, no, she didn´t need to wonder. She knew damn well what he would have said.

Keena cut off that particular line of thought as she stepped out of the casino. Too painful.

A Republic shuttle flew overhead, towards the landing site the soldiers used.

Another group of off duty soldiers? So soon?

Keena took to an alley, looked around for witnesses, and jumped twenty feet onto the roof. She landed silently, eyes darting around. The roof was empty but she somehow felt observed. For the last four years she´d worked hard to keep her powers a secret. Somehow blowing her cover in an act of curiosity seemed like a very embarrasing prospect.

Neither her physical senses or use of the Force revealed anything however. Must be nerves.

_Pull yourself together._

She detached the scope of the blaster rifle and looked through it towards the landing site.

The small shuttle landed perfectly and the ramp lowered to admit three familiar faces to emerge.

Carth Onasi, Mission Vao, and Zaalbar son of Freyyr.

What was a general and a pair of hired scouts doing down on Brim? Given Carth´s suspicion of an impending attack by Eskon´s forces, for him to take a day off seemed unlikely at best.

_Did they see through me? I didn´t exactly have time to construct a foolproof persona. Did Mission notice my uses of the Force back on J-3109? Did they contact the council and get sent a picture of me during my padawan days? Are even now Jedi on the way to . . . what? Apprehend me? Interrogate me on my involvement with the Sith war? Bring me back into the fold whether I want them to or not, like Revan? I will NOT bow down to the scrutiny of the masters . . ._

Keena shook her head. Paranoia and pondering had their time and place.

She reflected briefly that while the uncontrolled burst of emotion, fear and suspicion in particular, didn´t bother her, it once would have. And that it didn´t now . . . that´s what bothered her.

The trio disappeared from her field of vision, spurring Keena into motion. She would have to find out if they were on to her or not. Know if she would have to dodge Jedi and Republic soldiers in addition to everything else.

She moved swiftly to the edge of the rooftop. She stopped just short of leaping down, the tension still in her legs. The feeling was back. A vague, but undeniable feeling of being watched.

Her eyes carefully scanned the nearby buildings. Nothing. She would have sensed someone hidden by a stealth field. Her force senses, like before, picked up nothing.

_Damn it, what´s going on?_

Keena let herself drop, and ran into the street, going where she suspected Carth, Mission and Zaalbar were going.

As she mingled into the motley crowds the feeling vanished. Her sense of unease did not.

--------------------

Keena´s hunch proved right. The three where headed to the part of Brim city´s downtown favored by the Republic soldiers. Relatively trouble-free (by Brim standards), but still with some interesting stops.

It was a simple matter to walk around the cantinas and various entertainment businesses (although Keena doubted Mission would be interested in entering Hark´s House of Negotiable Affection), and scan for their presence.

The process was slowed somewhat by Keena´s efforts to hide her own Force presence, but she eventually found them at Tully´s, a relatively wholesome cantina/diner.

There was some amount of Republic soldiers around the area, but Keena kept the hood of her cloak up in case someone from the _Retaliator_ might recognise her. Dropping it would of course have answered the question of whether an alarm had gone up about her disguise, but she decided on the subtler approach for now.

She walked up to the door and risked a look inside. Tully´s was dimly lit but she spotted a shape that could only belong to a Wookiee.

They were sitting in a shadowed corner, with a bit of space between themselves and the rest of the patrons. Mission and Zaalbar were sitting opposite Carth, who was casually dressed and keeping an eye on the room.

Keena wrapped her nondescript cloak around herself, walked in when Carth wasn´t looking and made for a shadow by the bar.

She sat down and ordered a drink, being careful to keep her voice down. She then glanced over her shoulder to make sure there was a clear, straight line between herself and the three before putting a tiny receiver in her ear. A small directional microphone held in one hand and pointed towards them allowed her to listen in without getting too close. The matching pair was a relic from her smuggling days that she´d kept in her backpack on J-3109 in case she´d need spare parts to repair the rifle.

´´. . . well Carth, where are they?´´

´´Relax Mission. They said they might be onto something and could be delayed, and you know why we can´t use communicators.´´

´´Yeah, yeah, I know. I´m just a little uncomfortable being out in the open if you´re right about this.´´

´´Hey, I´m just going on what I´m told.´´

Zaalbar growled something Keena didn´t quite catch. Whatever it was Carth and Mission agreed.

´´But how long are we going to sit around here, the fleet, that is?´´ asked Mission. ´´Everyone agrees Eskon´s up to something, or looking for someone or something. Whatever it is it can´t be good for the Republic. Are we just going to sit by and let him do his thing, or are we going to go kick his butt?´´

Carth sighed. ´´I know what you mean, Mission. I don´t like this sitting around any more than you do. But Eskon´s got a sizable fleet, more than a match for us if we´re not careful. We can´t just charge ahead turbolazers blazing. And if our . . . undercover people are right he might have people watching us. Maybe even from the inside. I for one am not itching to go into battle while worrying about assassins and saboteurs.´´

´´ I know, I know, I know. I´m just . . . I´m just uneasy about him sitting nice and quiet and plotting strategies and gathering forces and inventing new Force powers, like . . . I don´t know, "Force Rectal Disembowelment" or something.´´

Zaalbar rumbled.

´´Well, if it´ll put you two a little at ease;´´ Carth lowered his voice and the state-of-the-art microphone barely picked it up. ´´I got a secret, encoded message from the Jedi Council yesterday. Bastila´s coming here.´´

_Bastila Shan is coming here? The fleet-kicker herself? I´m sure Eskon would be flattered to know._

´´Princess is coming? Wow, great! I haven´t seen her in ages!´´

´´Two months, Mission. And uh, do try to keep it a secret.´´

´´I know, you fussy old geezer, that´s why I used her codename!´´

´´Codename? Heh, I´m sure she´ll be delighted to hear that. That or put your jaw in stasis.´´

´´Nah. I´ll just tell her it was your idea and she´ll put . . . something else . . . in stasis.´´

Carth and Zaalbar laughed.

Keena could remember sitting around with Revan and the rest, during what quiet moments the war allowed. Talking, joking and laughing as much as Jedi padawans did. It seemed strange that the best memories of her life were inevitably connected with the worst.

She sighed and took a gulp of her drink. While the little snippets of information she was getting were nice they only seemed to create more questions. Just what was Eskon up to? What had the "undercover people" found? How long before all out war? Were they onto her or not? And what made this whole thing important enough for the Council to dispatch Bastila?

There were a few moments of silence as everyone turned their attention to what they´d ordered.

Then Mission: ´´Say, has either one of you seen Annie? I haven´t seen her since we got back.´´

Keena took an easier breath.

´´Hm? No, but I saw her name on the list of the last off-duty people coming down to the surface. Presumably she´s still around. Why?´´

´´No reason, just wanna see her again.´´

´´You two becoming fast friends?´´

´´Well, maybe not quite yet, but I´d like to.´´

_She wants to be friends?_

Keena tried to come up with some bitter, acid-drenched inner response to that but couldn´t find one. For a moment her shoulders slumped and she just felt terribly tired. And terribly alone. Anger and loneliness were oh, so very draining emotions to live by.

´´I mean, she did . . . save our lives. I may not be a Wookie . . .´´

Zaalbar chuckled, rubbed the top off Mission´s head and said she was Wookie enough.

´´Hey, stop that! Like I was saying I may not be a Wookie, but that´s not something I take lightly. Know what I mean?´´

´´Yeah, I do. I´ve seen a lot of warfare, Mission. It draws out the worst in people . . . but there are also moments when it brings out the best, such as risking one´s life for a complete stranger. War is strange like that.´´

_It certainly is. Strange and horrible. A bloodthirsty, rat-bastard of a warlord to a bunch of savages decides to start a gigantic pissing contest with the entire galaxy, and it leads to the strangest side effects. Like maybe a young padawan taking on more than she´s trained to handle and turn into a sad, lonely, self-exile determined not to belong anywhere. And why?_

She found herself standing up and turning towards their table.

´´Convenient she crashed on that exact planet, isn´t it?´´ Carth said after a short silence. ´´In the exact area you landed in a year later . . . What are the odds of that?´´

Mission sighed with amused exasperation. ´´What, you think the Sith planned the whole thing to get a spy into our midst? Oh, come on. Don´t tell me Carth Everyone´s-Got-An-Agenda Onasi is making a comeback. Please?´´

Carth´s face was neutral for a moment, then he smiled. ´´Nah, I´m just letting my mouth run. Old habits I guess.´´

´´Right. And anyway, it was probably, y´know, the Force or something. Like when you, Bastila and Tana where the only ones to get off the _Endar Spire_.´´

_Oh, right. THAT´S why. "Tana." The bitch who betrayed me, who betrayed us all. And who got a clean slate as a gift from the Jedi, who is a HERO to the Republic! THAT´S WHY!_

Keena felt the familiar anger flare. She welcomed it.

_Feed it. Love it. It´s better than the pain._

The three of them kept talking. Keena pulled the receiver out of her ear, pocketed it and the microphone and drained the remains of her drink. Enough of this. Time to get the info she wanted and get on with things.

She took a few moments to mask her emotions, to create the surface of an easygoing, unemployed scout named Anna Kolm.

She walked over to the table.

´´Oh, hey you guys.´´

Carth helloed, Zaalbar growled a greeting and Mission beamed.

´´Anna, hi! I was just wondering where you were at! Watcha been up to?´´

_No reason not to tell the truth._

´´Hitting the casinos. What can I say: I have a vice.´´ She was getting real good at smiling convincingly.

´´A vice? Hah! Hang around Zaalbar for a while. If he were stuck on a desolate planet he´d eat his own foot within the day.´´

Zaalbar barked an indignant reply.

´´Mind if I sit down?´´

´´Oh, sure, sure, go ahead.´´

Keena did.

´´So what brings you three down here among the common folk?´´ she asked jokingly, getting the now-expected embarassed reaction from Mission.

Carth put up a casual front; one that would have been quite effective on anyone untrained in the ways of the Force.

´´Oh, we´re just waiting for some friends of ours. Stick around, I´ll introduce you.´´

Suddenly something poked through Keena´s self imposed restrictions in Force sensitivity. A strong Force presence. No, two. Real close.

´´Say, Carth, that reminds me,´´ Mission piped in, ´´when´s "Princess" coming.´´

Keena knew the answer before Carth glanced towards the door and smiled.

´´Right now.´´

Keena looked herself. Two hooded and robed figures had just entered.


	7. Struggle 7

**Author´s note:** Wow (again), MORE compliments. I´d better not screw up!

I sure am glad everyone is enjoying my fic so much.

Lee: Thank you. Twice. :) And the rest of you too, of course.

In case there is any confusion: I´m posting this chapter twice, since the first time I forgot to put this note on it.

Anyway, here is chapter seven of Struggle. I hope you like it, but if you don´t please let me know why so I can do better. I´ll try to have chapter eight done by Wednesday, so you won´t have to wait long for more.

Thanks again for all the great feedback.

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The two walked in calmly and gracefully. Both wore the customarily unremarkable hooded robes of the Jedi. And both shone with the Force.

Keena pulled the Force around herself hurriedly, dulling her own precence down to a candle. Her greatest skill had always been to manipulate her own Force aura. In the years following the _Storm_ she´d always kept up a certain barrier to keep any possible Sith or Jedi Masters from tracking her down, and she´d gotten quite good at it. Hiding this close, however, would be a different matter entirely. Not to mention the fact that Bastila, at least, had almost certainly studied any and all files involving Revan extensively.

Keena cussed silently.

_What are the odds of them showing up now? I mean . . . what are the odds?! The Force is playing with me!_

She forced herself to relax, for practicality´s sake, if nothing else.

_Just keep it cool. Your hood is up, you´re sitting in shadow, it´s been four years, and you´re probably the last thing on their minds._

They walked up to the table, and one figure stepped forward. She kept her hood up, but the group could make out her face.

Bastila Shan. Aside from the change in wardrobe to more traditional Jedi garb she too looked more or less the same as she had during the ceremony.

She gave the group a little smile, and Keena could feel her subtly give her aura a little check. She must have been content with what she felt since she greeted the three without breaking pace.

´´Greetings . . . I . . .´´

Mission got up, ´´Oh, stop being little miss Jedi!´´ and gave Bastila a hug.

The Jedi stood awkwardly for a moment before returning the affection. Mission had told Keena that throughout the whole thing Bastila had been nice, but always somewhat formal and distant. Clearly she had warmed up, at least somewhat.

Zaalbar rumbled something.

´´Nice to see you again Bastila, I´m glad the Council could spare you.´´

Her smile widened a bit, seemingly against her will. ´´Well, all right: Good to see you all too.´´

The second Jedi stepped forward and lowered the hood designed to accommodate the two lekku draped around her neck.

The purple Twi´lek smiled. Somewhat shyly, Keena thought. ´´Hello.´´

She was greeted with not quite as much familiarity but nevertheless friendliness.

´´Hey, Yuthura´´

´´Hello.´´

´´Groowrorrr.´´

Carth gestured towards Keena. ´´This is Anna Kolm. Mission and Zaalbar were shot down during a, uh, mission, and she helped them.´´

Bastila´s look went from neutral to thankful and she held out her hand and spoke in a soft, even voice. ´´Well, you have my thanks for that, miss Kolm.´´

Bastila Shan. The one who had saved Revan´s miserable life. It could all have ended on the bridge of that damned ship; Revan destroyed by the very Sith evil and treachery she had embraced. It would have been the perfect justice. And Keena would have been free of her shadow.

But no. A single padawan´s overdeveloped sense of compassion had driven her to save the wretch, even going so far as to create a Force bond in the process. Which had of course led to her getting badly burned. Keena couldn´t work up much pity.

She did her best to look shy and projected an aura of wow-a-Jedi awe and shook the hand, feeling the familiar callus caused by gripping a lightsaber regularly. The princess did more than sit back and influence fleets.

_I am getting so sick of all this gratitude. Can´t you people just let me quietly kill your great and glorious saviour? Heh._

´´My pleasure, master Jedi.´´ For the second time that day she had to turn a bitter laugh/snort into a cough. She´d never been comfortable with the adoration she got from the soldiers during the war. Bastila didn´t seem bothered.

The two Jedi sat down and ordered non-alcoholic drinks.

´´So, did you guys happen to bring reinforcements with you?´´ asked Mission.

´´No,´´ said Yuthura, ´´we came alone in a small shuttle provided by the Council. The fleet is stretched thin as it is. Besides; we don´t want to draw too much attention to Bastila´s comings and goings.´´

´´Fair enough´´ said Carth, ´´Anyway . . . I get reports of course, but I´d like to hear it from someone who´s been on the front lines: How´s the war going?´´

Bastila sighed. ´´It goes. We lose sectors, we gain sectors, we retake sectors, we lose sectors again. It´s a stalemate, really.´´

´´So why did the Council send you here? Don´t get me wrong: I appreciate the help. But the fact remains that this is a very unimportant area. I still have no idea why Eskon´s even targeting it.´´

´´Well, it may be unimportant,´´ said Yuthura, somewhat more loudly than neccessary, ´´but if he breaks through your fleet he´ll have a much easier access to more important sectors.´´

The two Jedi exchanged glances, Yuthura took out and activated a tapping-dampener and Bastila went on in a whisper.

´´But there is something else. Something the Council is very worried about . . .´´

Bastila paused and looked at Keena. ´´Please forgive me, Miss Kolm, but perhaps you could . . .´´

´´Aw, c´mon, she´s okay. She can keep a secret; can´t you, Annie?´´ piped in Mission.

_Oh, you bet I can._

Keena forced on a smile and got up. ´´No, no, it´s okay. "Top secret" and all that. I just saw you three sitting there and wanted to say hi.´´

_Yeah, nice to see you, O saviour of Revan. Let´s never do it again._

Something changed in Bastila´s face and she frowned slightly. ´´Are you all right?´´

_Damn! She must have sensed something off. Or seen something odd in my eyes._

Keena threw up a casual smile. ´´Sure. I´ve just been feeling a bit under the weather lately.

´´Really, Annie, you should see a doctor.´´ said Mission.

´´Perhaps I can help . . .´´ Bastila reached out to touch her, and Keena knew she was going to check her aura for sickness or injury, the first step in using the Force for healing purposes.

Keena´s hand shot out and clamped around Bastila´s wrist. She immediately cursed herself silently. The reaction had been too quick and the grip too tight. A fact not lost on Bastila.

´´No, that´s all right´´ she said stiffly, then coughed, hoping it would excuse her voice. ´´I´ll visit the sickbay on the _Retaliator_´´ she said in a friendlier tone, then glansed at Mission. ´´Promise.´´

´´See you guys.´´ She nodded respectfully at the two Jedi before walking out, hoping they would ignore the incident.

She had a mixed opinion about the dismissal. On one hand it gave her an excuse to leave the presence of these two Jedi before they saw through her. But it also made her miss out on Eskon´s agenda.

_Oh, well, what does it matter? It´s not like it really concerns me anyway._

--------------------

Keena let herself into her room at the Friendly Tach. She´d gotten what she´d paid for: A bed of lower-average quality, a small eating area, and a standard fresher, like one might find in a military issue shuttle.

She let herself fall backwards onto the bed and closed her eyes.

So; Jedi Bastila Fleetkicker Shan, Jedi Yuthura Ban, General Carth Onasi, Zaalbar and Mission. All at the same lousy planet at the same time. All drawn there in order to stop Eskon and defend the Republic from Sith tyranny and savagery or die trying.

And here was Keena herself; Come out of inglorious retirement in order to kill one of her old friends and . . . well, damn if she knew what to do with the other one. Talk to him? Fight him? Join him?

She put her hands over her face. Join him? In the empty, pointless existence Revan and Malak had thrown themselves into?

Keena cursed. On one side was the Republic and the Jedi, the ancient forces who had maintained stability for thousands of years and stood as beacons of ideals and hope in the galaxy. The forces she´d once devoted her body and soul to. The forces that, depending on her mood, she wasn´t worthy of, or who weren´t worthy of her.

On the other side were the Sith. Savage, monstrous followers of a perverted code of bloodshed, betrayals and death. The code that had been the cause for more misery and death than any other single idea in history. The code that in the darkness of the night, in the horribly honest privacy of her thoughts, made a certain kind of sense.

And then there was the middle. The terrible, hollow, pointless middle. Being constantly chafed between the two sides.

As much as she tried she had never been able to make one of the choices outweigh the others.

Keena sighed. As usual, her pained thoughts led to their ultimate source.

Her enemy. Her tormentor. The one who had kept on twisting and hurting her even after she escaped.

Her friend.

´´Why did you do it Revan . . .?´´ she found herself murmuring out loud. A fresh kind of pain she´d all but forgotten about poked through.

´´Why did you have to be so rotten . . . ?´´

There was a knock on the door.

Keena´s eyes snapped open. She wasn´t sure if she had fallen asleep or not.

There was another knock, followed by Pol Svikari´s voice. ´´K? Got some of you stuff here!´´

She got up, rubbing her eyes and walked towards the door. She looked through the peephole. It was Pol all right, for better or worse.

Keena kicked her backpack out of the way of door and opened it.

Pol greeted her with his standard self-satisfied grin and waved a small kit in front of her eyes.

´´Try saying I don´t come through for you, kid. Just try it.´´

Keena cleared her throat. ´´Ahem: "You don´t come through for me". How was that?´´ she asked without any real humor.

He just laughed. ´´You got my money?´´

She reached into her pocket for the ill-gotten credits. ´´Sure. Where´s the rest . . .´´

Pol ducked as a dark figure lept over him and through the door, planting both feet in Keena´s chest.

She flew backwards, impacting hard with the edge of the bed.

The black-cloaked, black-hooded figure strode in, followed by two of it´s kind. Stealth no longer being an issue they dropped the shields over their Force auras and Keena felt the same sick, twisted evil she´d felt from Revan those four long years ago.

Sith.

Though dazed she forced herself to focus and called the blaster rifle to her hand as she slid to the floor.

A red lightsaber illuminated the room as the leader esily deflected the bolt. One of the other one sent his saber out as a spinning missile, slicing the rifle cleanly in half.

She tried to call upon the Force, to attack them, to give herself strength, to do _something_ but they were using their own combined power to suppress hers.

The leader moved forward and kicker her in the forhead.

Keena´s world exploded into bright stars and pain as her head met the floor.

She was aware of one Sith grabbing each of her arms and pinning it down.

´´Sorry kid,´´ said Pol from the doorway, not even bothering to hide his amusement. ´´What can I say? The Sith offer a lot of credits for you.´´

The leader sat on top of Keena´s chest. ´´A pity,´´ came his smug voice as he put his hands on her temples, ´´Lord Eskon promised us a challenge.´´

She felt the warmth leave her body. Felt the Sith drain her life force and combine it with his own, leaving her limbs cold, numb, and unmoving. It was a perverse, horrible feeling, and for the first time in a long time she was genuinely afraid.

Her numbing mind reflected briefly on the backpack she´d so casually kicked aside earlier, and the object in it. The one she couldn´t bring herself to throw away, despite the urge to leave her past entirely behind her. It might as well have been on another planet.

_Eskon sent them? Eskon sent them after me?_

It was true. He really had become a Sith Lord.

_Yes! Think about Eskon. Think about Malak! Think about REVAN!_

The familiar rage swelled inside her, fueled by fear and grief, like never before, and brought her mind back online.

She could sense the Sith. Sense their life . . .

Keena reached out through the leeching connection with the leader, _yanked_ at it with her mind, reversing the flow, feeding both of their life energies back into her body. It felt glorious, a sweet nectar of strength and life. Life torn from a lesser being.

The Sith screamed and recoiled. His companions were momentarily stunned and unsure. Keena used that moment to feed her newfound power into her numb muscles.

_Bloody . . . SITH!_

She threw them off, her muscles, tingling with power, barely noticing the strain.

Keena backflipped over the bed and held her hand out, beckoning to the object she knew so well. It flew out of the backpack and into her waiting grasp, fitting like a piece of a puzzle.

She landed, eyes blazing, and activated her lightsaber.

The beam bathed her in a ghostly blue light as she took a fighting stance. She sensed the Sith´s momentary uncertainty . . . a moment of hesitant fear. She loved it.

The leader shakily got to his feet and three red sabers hissed to life.

´´Lord Eskon wants you alive,´´ growled one, ´´but he said nothing of intact!´´

The two on each side of the leader feinted, while he jumped forward, saber aimed for a lunge.

Keena regocnized the move for what it was and simply moved her hand and flipped the bed in the air. The lunging Sith smashed into it and fell to the ground with the upside of the bed on top of him.

Before he could react in any way Keena lunged forward and put her saber through the bed.

She held the saber above her head and fixed her stare at the other two.

´´Well, me on the other hand: I don´t want you maimed, just dead.´´

They said nothing. Instead they slowly moved away from each other, and started inching towards each of Keena´s sides.

She stood her ground, saber held high, muscles tensed for immediate action.

The hiss of lightsabers was the only sound in the room.

Keena´s eyes darted between them as they stopped on her right and left, trying to judge their body language, trying to get a premonition of their next move through the Force.

Her eyes suddenly stopped on the one standing between her and the fresher door. A plan formed.

Her lightsaber flew out of her hands and arched towards his right side. He instinctively moved his saber to deflect an attack, but the weapon went wide and missed him completely.

Keena ran past his left side and caught her lightsaber. The Sith followed, moving his weapon for a stab at her shoulder.

She rushed through the door and ducked just as the attack would have hit and put her own saber into one of the water pipes on the wall.

The water rushed out, turned into scalding steam by the lightsaber blade, and hit the incoming Sith in the face.

He screamed, staggered backwards and flailed his saber at Keena blindly.

She cut him down easily.

The remaining Sith, probably hoping to catch her off guard, rushed in with a wide swing. Keena parried, sending his saber beam into the doorjamb and kicked out at his stomach.

He jumped backwards, yanking his blade out of the wall. A push of Force power sent the piece of wall he´d just cut out into his face.

The Sith only needed a moment to recover; but that moment was all the time Keena needed to leap at him, call his dead companions´ lightsaber to her left hand and slice both weapons across his torso. He fell down into three parts and oblivion.

Pol was gone.

Keena stood stock still for a few moments, surveying her handiwork.

Even assuming they had been the only Sith on Brim it would be best to make herself scarce.

She hurriedly put on her cloak, picked up her backpack and went out into the empty, poorly lit street. A single Force-powered jump put her on a rooftop. The buildings in this area were so close toghether jumping between them would be an easy way to travel without being noticed. Eventually.

She leaned against a large steam release and let herself slide down into a sitting position. Her blood was cooling down, and with a clearing mind the questions were coming in.

How had Pol known they were looking for her? _Why_ was Eskon looking for her? His cronies certainly hadn´t been inviting her for a social visit. Did he want her as another Dark Jedi in his service?

And the question of the moment: _What now?_

´´Revan´s Jedi buddies on the one side, Eskon´s Sith on the other . . .´´ she murmured. ´´It seems all mixed up.´´

_Eskon sent Dark Jedi after me. How did that happen? Oh, Eskon . . . I´m so sorry . . ._

She was torn out of her dark musings by the sounds of running feet on the street below. Feet that by the sound of things went straight for Keena´s rented room.

_More Sith?_

She risked a quick check with her Force senses. She felt two people, both strong in the Force. So strong, in fact, that she hurriedly withdrew rather than being detected.

Keena crawled toward the edge of the rooftop and peeked over it.

Across the street a female figure in a nondescript, hooded robe was standing outside the door to her room, glancing up and down the street. She turned her head, apparently listening to something being said inside the room, and ran to the other end of the building, to the reception. She moved with a smooth grace. Like a cat.

A few moments passed. Then another, somewhat shorter female figure identically robed exited the hotel room. The other one joined her a few seconds later.

´´The receptionist couldn´t tell me much.´´ said the catlike woman in a heavy accent. ´´He said a human woman had rented the room a few hours ago. About five foot ten, dark hair, pale skin. Nondescript clothes. Nothing more, really.´´

´´Three Dark Jedi killed with a lightsaber . . .´´ said the other woman in a soft voice. Keena´s entire body tensed. ´´And we just missed it.´´

´´It´s three less for us to worry about; still, it seems odd. This would be a foolish time and place for the Sith to play out their constant infighting.´´

´´Yes, putting it mildly. Especially if the Council is correct in their suspicions.´´

_I know that voice . . ._ She felt sick.

´´I´m certain they are´´ purred the other woman, Juhani, Keena now realised. ´´It would certainly explain a great many things.´´

_I would know it anywhere _. . .

´´Yes. I´d better contact Bastila . . .´´ They started walking down the street.

"_The Dark Side has it´s hook in you, my friend. And there is no escape, ever."_

It was her.

_Revan . . . is here. Now._

The two Jedi stopped and whipped around as Keena´s feet met the street.

´´Hello . . . Revan.´´


	8. Struggle 8

It was her. At long last, it was her.

The two Jedi watched her warily across the thirty feet seperating them, hands close to their lightsabers. Confused.

´´Who are you?´´ Keena was vaguely aware of the Cathar asking. Keena didn´t care, she was insignificant in all this. She squeezed her deactivated lightsaber so hard it hurt.

Her vision narrowed, her emotions flared, all focused in a laser beam directed at Revan, who was looking at her with a blank expression. There was no way these two Jedi could miss it.

Still, they were clearly unsure what to make of her.

_I could get her right now. I could clear the distance and chop her down. It´s got a chance . . ._

(´´You killed those Sith.´´ came Juhani´s voice through the haze. ´´You are not one of them . . . what are you?´´)

Revan. The one who had betrayed her in the worst way. Who had damned her friends, nearly destroyed everything she´d cared for, and made her doubt that very everything.

(Juhani´s hand closed around her lightsaber hilt, but she didn´t draw it. Her yellow eyes were appraising her carefully, looking for a twitch of a muscle that would precede an attack.)

The one who had gotten Eskon mutilated and twisted him into a slave of the Dark Side. And of course nearly done the same to Keena.

Her burning gaze registered a change in Revan´s neutral expression. Something happened in the Sith Lord´s eyes.

´´I . . . I know you . . . don´t I?´´ her voice had a strangely brittle, unsure quality to it.

Juhani gave her friend a quick, concerned look.

´´From . . . before.´´ she whispered the last word. Her hand had moved away from her lightsaber and hung limp.

_Her guard is down! I can kill her now!_

Somewhere at the back of her mind a voice asked: What about the Cathar? She shushed it.

_But she wouldn´t know why . . ._

´´Yes, Revan, you know me.´´ her voice shook with anger, but she was able to make it intelligible.

´´I´m told you mostly remember faces and people . . .´´

She reached up a shaking hand and pulled back the hood on her cloak.

She growled through her teeth. ´´Do you . . . remember me?´´

Revan´s eyes went blank for a few moments. Then her jaw dropped, and her look changed to . . . what? Fear? Pain? Horror?

Juhani grabbed her upper arm, as if to support her, and interchanged her gaze from Revan to Keena.

´´Tana? Tana . . . what is it?´´ there was no mistaking the concern in her voice. It made Keena sick.

Revan´s lips moved silently and her eyes held an intense concentration, as if trying to remember a word.

´´Keena Moray.´´

Keena glanced behind her.

Bastila was standing about twenty feet behind her.

´´She followed Revan in the Mandalorian wars,´´ she said in the same soft, refined voice, but now with a slight edge. ´´I didn´t recognize you right away at the cantina. The Council assumed you were either lost or dead. Clearly you still live . . . but what has become of you?´´

There was no mistaking the Jedi´s meaning; she wasn´t enquiring about Keena´s whereabouts after the war.

_Surrounded . . . three to one . . . three _competent_ to one, unlike those Sith morons._

´´What brings you here?´´

Keena spared one hateful glare at "Tana".

´´An unpaid debt.´´

She pulled the Sith lightsaber out of her pocket and activated both. There was the hiss of Juhani and Bastila activating theirs simultaneously.

´´Which I _will_ collect!´´

She stuck both lightsabers in the ground and spun in a half-circle. The world disappeared from view as Keena plunged into Brim´s sewer system.

Ankle-deep in disgusting muck, she picked one of the two directions available and ran.

She raged. She fumed. After four years she´s finally found her great enemy and was forced to run.

Keena both heard and sensed the three Jedi jumping down after her. Through the Force she directed her rage into her leg muscles, pushing them furiously onward. The filth of the sewer splashed all over her with each step. She didn´t care.

At first she gained a considerable lead, but the pursuers were obviously also skilled in drawing speed from the Force, and the gap stayed even.

Keena stopped. Despite the total darkness she could sense her surroundings had changed. The space was more open, the ceiling was higher and there was the sound of watery substances flowing through pipes. She had reached some sort of hub for this area´s sewer.

She reflected that the large pipe she´d traveled through had been sloping downwards for a while; she was deeper into the ground than when she´d started out. And she had no idea where to go. Her environment, however, finally offered her some options.

The seething anger had cooled down slightly; enough, at least, for some rational thought.

_I got too angry to think, to be smart. Too angry to notice Bastila coming up behind me. And now I´m running around blindly in a sewer with three Jedi after me. Nice job, Keena. Real nice._

Despite the foul air she forced herself to take deep breaths and relax somewhat. With some semblance of calm restored she focused on her own Force aura and dulled it down, hopefully enough for Jedi to overlook it even in such close proximity.

Keena felt her way to a thick, vertical pipe and slid behind it. Cathar had excellent night vision, she remembered, but couldn´t see in total darkness. Still, they might have flashlights or light enhancing goggles.

As the hurried footsteps closed in all she could do was wait, and try not to let her anger regain control. There would be a time and a place.

Revan, Juhani and Bastila entered, their respective lightsabers illuminating them and their immediate surroundings. Keena risked a peek.

Bastila´s was yellow; a double dose of yellow, in fact. Keena had never seen a Jedi use one of the Sith-created weapons. Most likely the Masters had decided the Republic´s last, best hope needed extra combat capability. She scanned her surroundings calmly and carefully, but with a determined look.

Juhani´s was a curious shade of orange Keena had never seen before, bathing her exotic face in it´s strange light. Keena wasn´t sure what to make of her expression. She kept glancing at Revan, however, betraying concern.

And Revan . . . Keena´s blood heated right back up at the sight of her, but she forced herself to maintain her Force cloak. Revan had a turquoise saber, _also _a colour Keena had never seen before. And her expression . . . pained was the only word Keena could think of for it.

She ducked back behind the pipe. She couldn´t stand that look . . . Revan had no place to be miserable . . . yet.

The three Jedi slowly made their way into the area.

´´Keena . . .´´ Bastila said softly. ´´I don´t know what you are now, but you once were a Padawan of the Jedi order. You know we won´t harm you if you come out.´´

_Yes, yes, I know. The Jedi are quite amazingly soft. The best example being the continued existance of the monster standing next to you._

Juhani. ´´I don´t know what has happened to you, but I could feel your anger up there. I know all about anger . . . and I know all too well where it leads. Please . . . come with us. The Jedi Council can help you.´´

_I. Don´t. Want. Their. Help. Where were they during the war?_

There was a long silence. Either they were waiting for a response or trying to sense her location.

Keena found herself wondering what would happen if they found her. These were skilled combatants, strong in the Force; she wouldn´t be able to fight them all. They wouldn´t strike the first blow, but would she really come with them quietly?

Then the moment she had been dreading came. Revan spoke up.

´´Keena . . .´´ The voice was not the one she´d heard those four years ago, the one she´d heard from the rooftop. It was shaky, vulnerable.

´´I . . . I don´t remember quite what happened those years ago. That entire period is even more vague than the rest of my memory . . . I don´t know what happened that got this whole mess started. What twisted Malak and me into Sith. And . . . everyone who could have told me is either dead or a Sith. But I do remember we were friends. And . . . and I don´t remember what I´ve done to you, but . . . I´m so sorry . . .´´

Keena bit into her own hand to keep from screaming at her.

´´You . . . you may be the only link to my past. The only one who has answers. Please . . . I can´t ever make up for what I´ve done . . .´´

_Well, you´re absolutely right about that one!_

´´ . . . but I plan to spend the rest of my life trying.´´

For a while the only sounds were the sounds of running water and the hum of lightsabers.

´´Well, Dark Lord Revan . . . that just isn´t good enough!´´ Keena´s loud voice echoed through the chamber.

She leaned her head back against the pipe, and closed her eyes.

´´We . . . all of us . . . we trusted you´´ she hissed bitterly. ´´We looked up to you. We abandoned our masters for you. We let you lead us through that bloody, pointless war. And when it was over and the Mandalorians were scattered we still trusted you, and followed you into the unknown!´´

Keena fought the bile in her throat and pushed her shaking voice onwards, finally, _finally_, being able to went her anger.

´´You were my friend. Hah, we all loved you! Probably just as much as your new friends do! I thought you exemplified the code of the Jedi. I thought you were someone I could look up to. _And you betrayed us!_´´

She risked a peek at the three. They had spread out and were looking in different directions. Revan´s back was turned.

´´She had fallen to the Dark Side,´´ said Juhani, ´´and now she once more walks in the light. She is not the person you knew anymore . . .´´

´´I´m not talking to you! Do you hear me Revan? Have you lost that magical tongue of yours? Or do my words come as a shock? Did you expect me to swallow your apology and give you a hug, and everything would be alright, like the Republic? The Council might have handed you a big fat Light Side pardon with a bow on it for being such a good Sith Lord, _but I am not buying that!_´´

´´She chose the light path on her own, Keena.´´ came Bastila´s voice. ´´What about you? What path have you chosen?´´

_Why are they defending her? Why did the Republic accept her back? Why is everyone so damn forgiving? Well . . . because they have no personal debts with her, of course._

´´I _chose_ nothing . . . except to place my trust in the monster you kept alive. Malak chose. Some of the other chose, or didn´t notice her corrupting them until it was too late. Me, I had forced upon me. On a Sith torture rack, much like yourself, I´m told. By _her.´´_

She risked another peek. Revan was standing with one hand dangling at her side, the other one resting on her forehead as her head hung.

She was in pain. Keena´s words were hurting her; badly. It felt sick, twisted and wonderful. Warming like a fevered infection. But she either couldn´t or wouldn´t stop her own venom.

´´And do you want to know the real joke "Tana"? If it hadn´t been for Eskon you would have twisted me all the way. He saved me, even though he could have gotten away. In the end he was a truer Jedi than any of us. And how was he rewarded? With your lapdog Malak mangling his body and you twisting his mind to the Dark Side, that´s how!´´

Juhani put her arm around Revan´s shoulders and whispered something in her ear.

´´So save your regrets! There is only one way to set things right, and me or Eskon are the only ones left to do it!´´

As her voice echoed through the chamber, muffling lesser sounds, Keena had started to carefully inspect her surroundings. It didn´t take long to find what she was looking for.

After a short silence Bastila spoke up again. ´´You have not fallen all the way Keena, I can see that. But your hatred of Revan will drag you down if you do not conquer it. Don´t you see? This anger is just what the old Revan tried to arouse in you. But Revan is gone . . . the only way you can defeat her is by leaving behind the memory of what she did.´´

´´Bastila speaks the truth´´ came Juhani´s heavily accented voice. ´´When it comes to the Dark Side she speaks from experience. We all do. Come with us´´ the Cathar implored softly.

´´Please listen to them.´´ said Revan shakily. ´´Ignore whatever I say if you want, but listen to them.´´

Silence was her only answer.

´´_Please_. If there is some hope for one of the Jedi who followed me, I . . .´´

Keena jumped out of her cover, between them and the entrance. The two lightsabers activated and left her hands, spinning into the air and slicing the support pillars and then back into her grasp.

She made it into the pipe just before debris rained down and sealed it

It wouldn´t take them long to get through, though, so Keena once again sprinted with the aid of the Force. After putting some distance between herself and them she had a moment of inspiration and once again cut a hole up to the surface . . . and then kept running until she came to the original one. If the new hole wouldn´t fool them it would at least give them a bit of pause.

Keena jumped up to the street, and then back up to the rooftop. Back where she´d started out.

She laughed bitterly.

_Aha. Except now I´ve revealed myself and my intentions to three Jedi, who will of cource report back to the Council. Oh yeah, and probably those five Republic warships in orbit! And to top it all off I´m covered in filth. Great job, you idiot. How do you survive?_

She pushed those thoughts down. She had spent the last year wallowing in self-loathing and misery. There would be time to pick up the thread later. Now was the time for action and clear thought.

Yes. Focus on getting the job done, and be smart about it. No more tantrums. And maybe she´d be able to ignore the mess she´d made.

_They have no leads on how to find me; no place to look. I´ll just need to play things smart, keep an eye on them and find a way to get to her alone._

She ran along the dark rooftops, often making the short leaps between buildings without needing to draw upon the Force. When she finally figured she had made enough distance she dropped down into an empty alley.

Keena leaned against a wall and stared at her trembling hands in a sliver of light that made its way in from the street.

Revan. After all this time.

Her mind randomly cycled through various memories of the object of her hatred. Her leader. Her idol, and friend. Her enemy and betrayer. Torturer. Destroyer of her innocence. The ghost whose memory had haunted her even after "death". The one who had been given the Cross of Glory for temporarily stemming the tide of her own mess.

_She actually tried to apologise. Tried to excuse herself and expect my forgiveness._

Her hands closed into tight fists, the skin stretching thin around her bony knuckles.

´´No Revan.´´ Keena muttered. ´´You are not going to talk your way out of this one. There is one person who hasn´t forgotten.´´

She closed an imaginary fist around her anger, bringing it under control. Storing it. There would be a time and a place for righteous fury.

The trembling stopped and Keena strode out into the street.

It wasn´t until the lights, and several eyes, hit her that she remembered her condition.

_Right_. _Hygiene first. Then business. Can´t bloody well sneak up on someone while smelling like a sewer._

Some inner voice demanded to know what she would do then, after her precious revenge, with both the Sith and the Jedi after her.

She stamped it down hard as she entered a cheap clothing store.

It wouldn´t be revenge, anyway. It would be justice.

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**Author´s note: **Sorry, took a little longer to get this done than I expected. Also sorry if someone thought this would be THE confrontation between Keena and Tana/Revan. That´s for later. Heh, heh.

Thanks once again for the positive reviews, everyone, and I´ll try to get the next chapter done as soon as possible.

Hope you liked this chapter.


	9. Struggle 9

**Author´s note:** I would have put this up sooner, but the upload access was disabled due to a bug.

Say, this story seems to have vanished from the Star Wars search engine, and I have no idea why. If anyone could help me out I would very much appreciate it.

Once again a big thank-you to all who bother to comment on my story. It warms my heart. Really, it does.

Anyway: Here´s chapter 9 of Struggle. I hope you like it.

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Ignoring the disgusted looks she got, Keena bought a new set of inconspicuous clothes, along with a new hooded cloak. A quick visit to a cheap bath house got her skin and hair clean before she changed into them. The soiled ones went into a garbage-filled alley.

She stopped by the window on a blaster store, examining her own reflection.

_Right, overlookable once more. Now try not to screw up so damn badly the next time, will you?_

In about an hour after getting out of the sewer, Keena set course for the Republic landing site. It was risky, she knew, but it was her best chance of at least finding information.

Between the dark, the hood being up, and the change in wardrobe, the regular soldiers were unlikely to recognise her as long as she was careful. As for the Jedi . . . well, she would just have to hope that her Force cloak would keep on working. And if it didn´t . . . well, then it wouldn´t. She hadn´t gained Revan´s attention in the war by being timid.

Walking though the littered, scummy streets of Brim, Keena tried to come up with some sort of plan. Some predetermined course of action.

She came up empty. With so many variables, and so much that she didn´t know, Keena couldn´t see any way to prepare. Best to just dive in headfirst and let her instincts guide her. It was how she normally did things.

Of course, if her instincts had been a little sharper four years ago a whole lot of trouble could have been avoided.

Eventually the landing site came into view.

There were two blaster rifle wielding soldiers on guard, one of them young and with an air of nervousness about him. She recognised neither of them from the _Retaliator_. Of course, there were good chances pictures of her had by now been circulated between the Republic forces.

She stood there for a few moments, trying to weigh the effectiveness of her face-darkening hood and her control of the Force against the two soldiers´ estimated perceptiveness.

_Screw it._

She walked up to them, creating an aura of trustworthyness and likeability. They wouldn´t be aware of it, but they would feel more favorably disposed to her than normally.

´´Good evening . . . miss.´´ said the older soldier. ´´This landing area is reserved for Republic Fleet personnel.

´´I know, I just need to find someone´´ Keena said in her friendliest voice, lacing her words with Force power.

She thought for a moment. They would be most likely to know the whereabouts of their commanding officer, but they might also be less likely to divulge his location.

´´I need to know where Mission Vao is.´´ she said to the young soldier, while using the Force on the other one to keep him from giving the situation too much thought.

´´Tell me where she is´´ she ordered, while giving him a hard mental push with the Force.

His eyes glazed over slightly. ´´Oh, she is meeting with some of her friends at the Verthandi Vigvöllur hotel in half an hour or so.´´

´´Thank you. I´ll just go away now. In fact: Let´s just pretend I was never even here.´´

The soldiers okayed simultaneously, and Keena walked briskly back into the ever-present crowd.

--------------------

She had never been inside the Verthandi Vigvöllur, but knew of it. Everyone on Brim did. It was a huge luxury hotel, the best one Brim had to offer. Keena supposed it would be a fine place for Revan and her crew to discuss Sith, strategies, and vengeful un-Jedi in comfort.

Keena again took to darkened rooftops for swifter travel, easily making the leaps over alleys, until she got to the somewhat more pleasant part of the city in which the fancier, cleaner, and taller casinos and hotels were. Intended mostly for crime lords, she supposed.

The hotel was easy to find, towering over the surrounding buildings as it did. It rose sixty storeys into the air, made of shiny, rust-red metal with a slanting pillar coming out of each side of the roof and going all the way down. Keena had no idea if they served some practical purpose or if they were just decoration.

She made her way to the fancy, heavily decorated reception, glancing every which way as she did so. Things had lately seemed all too intent on breaking all laws of probability, and she didn´t need a run-in with the Jedi now.

Guards in decorated armor stood at stategic locations in the lobby, and she spotted force field generators on the desk, no doubt designed to be activated quickly in case of trouble.

The impeccably dressed and groomed man behind the desk gave her a stiffly polite but slightly disapproving look. Keena supposed he regularly saw slaves better dressed than her.

´´Welcome to the Verthandi Vigvöllur, miss, can I be of any assistance?´´ His voice was silky-smooth, with just of hint of condescension.

Keena supposed that having well-trained and paid guards in sight made him confident enough to shrug off any tough talk or threats. Subtlety for now, then.

´´I am with the group accompanying General Onasi.´´ she said, placing her bet on Mission being there to attend a meeting between the Ebon Hawks´ old crew. ´´ You want to tell me which room is his.´´ She allowed herself the little hand motion many Jedi used as a gesture to focus their use of the Force.

´´Of course ma´am. The general is in room number eleven on floor twenty-eight. Shall I send a message announcing your arrival?´´

´´No need, he knows I am here.´´

Keena made for the turbolift, briefly wondering what the odds were of him thinking she was a street prostitute ordered to a "party", but quickly dropped the issue.

As the turbolift took her upwards, the former Padawan leaned against the wall, taking deep, calming breaths and worked hard to diminish her Force presence as much as possible. She would most likely be close to four Jedi Knights, after all. This was no time to get careless.

The lift stopped and the doors slid open. Keena carefully stuck her head out in the hallway and looked both ways. Nothing.

The last room before the nearest corner was number nine. Keena walked up to the door, and risked a little peek with her Force senses. As far as she could tell the room was empty.

She closed her eyes and very carefully used a tiny push of Force power to move the locking mechanism and open the door. Keena quickly slid inside, closed the door, and stood for several seconds with her breath held. Nothing happened.

_So far, so good._

She made her way to the other end of the darkened, luxurious room, took out her lightsaber, and slowly and carefully cut a hole in the wall.

She strode into room number ten. Right next to the one holding "The Heroes Of Our Age". And most likely right next to _her._

Keena put the receiver into her ear, took out the directional microphone and changed its settings before pressing it against the wall seperating the two rooms.

_Time to get some inside scoop_.

´´. . . ere´s Yuthura?´´ Carth´s voice.

Bastila replied. ´´She encountered a slight delay, but will be joining us shortly. Anyway, we can start without her. I assume everyone knows why we are here?´´

´´Yeah,´´ Mission. She sounded downbeat. ´´Because of Ann . . . this Keena person.´´

´´And because Tana and I suspect the ships may be bugged.´´ Juhani.

´´Yeah, and that.´´

´´Arrre you okay?´´

Mission sighed. ´´No, I´m not. She saved me and Big Z. I brought her back from J-3109, heck I talked her into coming, because I was grateful. I mean, we talked, we played Pazak, I tried to get her a job . . . and now you´re saying she´s a Sith out to kill Tana. I just . . . I just don´t know what to think.´´

´´We don´t believe her to be a Sith, Mission.´´ said Bastila. ´´Tana and Juhani were following leads on Sith spies when they sensed a disturbance in the Force. By the time they got there she had killed three Sith. The Sith may be overconfident, but even they are not foolish enough to play out their infighting on a secret mission.´´

´´No, she´s not a Sith.´´ _Revan._ Keena´s jaw muscles tensed, but she kept her temper in check. ´´She´s angry, very angry . . . at me.´´

´´Well, isn´t it anger that causes Jedi to fall to the Dark Side? Anger and fear?´´ Carth.

´´Anger leads the way, yes,´´ answered Juhani. ´´And I could sense so much of it from her. It . . . it reminded me of myself; in the grove.´´

´´Well, okay . . . but how come she saved us? I mean . . . I don´t see that she had anything to gain from it.´´ There was a sad, hurt quality to Mission´s voice that touched something in Keena. She didn´t like it. She didn´t like feeling guilty about hurting someone´s feelings. Not when there was one with so much more on her conscience in the room with her.

Bastila answered. ´´It may be that some flicker of light remains in her . . . that she hasn´t fully succumbed to her anger. That the Jedi Padawan she once was may still be saved.´´

_Oh, you think so, do you?_

´´_Everyone_ has some of the Light in them. The only question is whether they realise it.´´ Juhani´s voice, filled with conviction.

´´Do you think you can pull her back? You do have a rather high success rate with that, Tana.´´

_REVAN, is not pulling me anywhere, soldier boy. Not again!_

There were a few moments of silence.

´´I don´t know Carth.´´ Revan said tiredly. ´´She has so much anger, and it´s all directed at _me._ I don´t think she´ll be all that interested in hearing anything I have to say. I, ah . . . can´t really say I blame her. Considering what I am.´´

´´We have been through this Tana,´´ said Bastila, ´´you have repented for your . . . for Revan´s past. None of us doubt your adherence to the Light Side. You are your own person.´´

´´Yeah, exactly.´´ said Mission. ´´You can´t keep doing these guilt trips.´´

´´You´re a good person, Tana.´´ Carth. ´´Hell, even I acknowledged it. You know, when I got over the shock.´´

Zaalbar rumbled something that as far as Keena could tell was something positive.

´´Agreement: Indeed master! You have no reason to regret putting down a few sloshy meatbags.´´

´´You know my feelings, Tana. You know them well.´´ said Juhani in a low voice that Keena wasn´t quite sure what to make of.

There was a prolonged silence, and Keena was starting to suspect that the Jedi had detected her.

Then: ´´I appreciate that, you guys. You know that. But all the kind words in the world aren´t going to . . .´´ Revan sighed heavily. ´´Look . . . after we got out of the sewer I had another one of my flashbacks, like I always do when something jogs my memory. And Bastila: I know you felt it through our bond but didn´t want to say anything. Anyway I . . . I recovered a bit more from my time as the Dark Lord. Mostly about Keena.´´

There was another pause, and Keena became aware of the wire-like tension in her body.

_Starting to remember, are you Revan? Starting to understand? Good. Let´s see you writhe._

´´The details aren´t all that clear, but I remember . . . friendship. And trust. We were as close as I am with all of you. And . . . and I betrayed her. I betrayed all of them. Doing to you what I did to her . . . I just can´t fathom it. I can´t imagine doing that. But I did it anyway . . . and for what? What in me could possibly have made me do something like that?´´

_I have my own theory Revan. You only have to ask._

´´The same that made Juhani attack Master Quatra, made Saul Karath destroy Telos and made me use my Battle Meditation against the Republic fleet: The Dark Side. It is within all of us, and all of us must guard against it. And I fear that Keena may lose her fight with it, if none of us can reach her.´´

_Why do you people insist on defending her?!_

´´Anyway, what do we know about her?´´ asked Carth.

´´Most Jedi who could have told us much about her either died in the war or joined the Sith. We did speak with Master Vandar, though´´ said Juhani. ´´He was quite surprised at the news. Judging by the Jedi archives, and what he knew of her personally, she was a promising young padawan. She was strong in the Force and dedicated and quickly gained exceptional skill with the lightsaber, although she hadn´t mastered emotional control.´´

´´When Revan´s call to arms came,´´ said Bastila, ´´she left her master and joined the war. There her combat skills proved sufficient to draw Revan´s personal attention; something those three dead Sith can certainly attest to. As a member of Revan´s inner circle she followed her to the Outer Rim after the defeat of the Mandalorians. As the Sith War started she was assumed to have either turned along with Revan, Malak, and the others or been killed. Beyond that there is little else that we can tell you. The only person left who knew her well is Tana.´´

´´And I don´t really remember much that would be helpful.´´

´´Well, so what can we do?´´ asked Carth.

´´I´m afraid she would be even harder to find than the Sith spies,´´ answered Juhani, ´´since we have at least some knowledge of their intentions and plans.´´

´´Which is why we hope she will come to us . . . or to me more specifically.´´ Revan sounded moody. ´´She will most likely try to get to me alone, so we´re hoping to draw her out.´´

´´And what are you going to do then?´´ asked Mission, still in that troubled voice.

´´Well, that will depend on her.´´ Juhani.

´´A little risky, don´t you think?´´ asked Carth.

´´Yeah,´´ said Revan, ´´but still; if it goes wrong then . . . well, at least it will a sort of justice done, won´t it?´´

´´Don´t say that!´´ exclaimed Bastila. ´´I can´t believe you´re still talking like this! You are a dedicated servant of the light, a champion in the struggle against the Sith!´´

_The struggle she started!_

Zaalbar growled something loudly.

´´Well, speaking of the Sith, do you have anything new on Darth Eskon?´´ said Carth.

´´Nothing that you do not alrready know, I´m afraid. He is looking for the tomb, and is believed to be close to succeding. The number of spies and scouts he has been employing in this sector suggests that he needs something more to find it, though. Tana and I have been trying to find out what his minions arre after, but so far nothing.´´

´´Suggestion: Surely an extensive orbital bombardment would eliminate any danger to you, master?´´

Keena put away the microphone and sat down on the first-class bed.

So, what had she found out? They were just as clueless as she had suspected on how to find her, and were hoping a trap with Revan as bait would do the trick . . . except now she knew. Eskon was looking for some tomb or another, and had planted spies throughout the area in order to find something that would help him do so. Revan and Juhani had been working on tracking them down, which explained why they had shown up so quickly after Keena´s fight with the Sith . . . which Keena still had no idea why had occurred. Revan was miserable, and her friends were unrelentingly supportive and faithful.

_Like I would have been, back in the day. She always could inspire loyalty._

So what now? Would she shadow them and wait for the trap to be set, only to have some countermeasure ready? Would she hold back her lust for payback until she could find out exactly what was going on? Or just go with her plan of waiting for Revan´s guard to lower?

_Well, I guess a little more information couldn´t possibly hurt._

She again took up position against the wall.

´´ . . . completely forgot, I brought your special robe back from Coruscant.´´ Bastila.

´´Oh, thanks. Did the scholars get anywhere with it?´´ Revan

´´No. They found no way to recreate the technology that spawned it, and its special properties only apply to you, its creator. So: There is only one set of "Star Forge Robes" in existance, and it´s up to you to use it.´´

´´It is strange indeed that a terrible artifact of the Dark Side could spawn something of purest Light Side.´´ commented Juhani.

´´Yes, but remem. . . wait!´´ came Bastila´s voice. ´´Do you sense that?´´

Keena had time to wonder how her Force cloak had failed before the explosion.


	10. Struggle 10

Keena heard a ringing. She realised it was in her ears. She also realised her entire body seemed to be in pain.

Her eyes opened and saw through the smoke the hole in the wall, just where she had been standing.

_A bomb,_ her dazed mind realised.

The explosion had been in room 11 and thrown her against the opposite wall, where she was currently crumpled on the floor.

Her ringing ears registered the sounds of lightsabers clashing, blasters going off, a Wookie war-howl, and grunts of effort and battle.

_The Sith have come for Revan and her friends _. . .

´´There she is!´´

Two lightsaber-wielding Sith, a man and a woman, stepped through the hole.

_. . . or have they?_

´´Get her!´´

Keena let her dazed and muddled thoughts move over for instinct, letting the Force propel her battered limbs into action.

Ignoring the agony of sudden, violent movement, she sprang to her feet just as they came at her.

Each hand went for a lightsaber hilt, as fast as the Force would let them but seeming achingly slow as the crimson sabers came in overhead slashes at her shoulders.

The red and blue beams came to life as she held each hilt up against a shoulder, stopping the simultaneous strikes inches from her flesh.

Their combined strength and weight threw her hard against the wall, knocking the remaining air out of her lungs as her arms strained to stay attached to her shoulders.

Pain. Fear. _Anger._

These feelings flowed through Keena and the Force, into her muscles.

_Rat-bastard Sith!_

She kicked out with all her might, finding a knee.

The Sith´s leg buckled, along with his pressure on the lightsaber.

Keena sent a wave of Force power his way, throwing him backwards as she slashed at the woman with her left hand. She was quick, though, and backflipped through the air.

She landed next to the male as he was getting up, and Keena knew they were going to attack her simultaneously again.

Keena charged at them, ignoring the screaming protests of one leg, each saber held horisontally out from a side.

They met her with their lightsabers hurriedly raised in defense, the man on her left, the woman on her right . . . except at the last moment she crossed her arms and stabbed at the man with her right, the woman with her left.

The unexpected switch, aided by Keena´s Force-enhanced strength, batted aside their weapons and she dove between them.

As they turned towards her the debris she had picked up with the Force flew through the air and smacked the off-guard Sith woman in the back of the head. She dropped.

Keena finished her landing somersault, rose to her knees, and held the twin blades over her head in an X just as the male made for an overhead chop.

She caught his blade in her two, then rose and turned, slowly turning his lightsaber aside and away from her.

Their eyes met and Keena saw the blazing hatred, the determination, the effort . . . and the fear. She took a moment to savor it.

Then the blue saber shot out and clipped his arm, weakening his grip and freeing the red one to slash at his neck.

For a moment Keena felt she saw his eyes widen in shock. Then he slumped down to his knees. His head fell off backwards as his body collapsed forward.

She looked down at her handywork for a moment. It had been Eskon who had given her basic lessons in how to fight with two weapons.

_How´s that for irony?_

A bolt of lightning hit Keena in the left shoulder. The Sith lightsaber dropped from her grasp as she staggered for a moment before bringing up her blue one to absorb the energy stream.

The Sith woman, up on her knees, changed tactics and sent a large piece of debris her way.

Reeling from the lightning attack Keena barely managed a one-handed swipe to cut it in half. She tried to call the Sith lightsaber back to her hand, but her arm hung paralyzed.

The woman got up and charged with a powerful, double-handed chop.

Keena narrowly dodged to the side, feeling the hum of the crimson saber as it cut the air just next to her.

She let her knees buckle and ducked a wide swing, aiming a slash at the Sith´s legs.

The woman jumped however, and sent a kick into Keena´s nose, knocking the former Padawan on her back. She then called her comrade´s lightsaber to her hand and attacked her prone opponent.

_Well . . . this isn´t good!_

She rolled to the side just enough to avoid a stab in the gut, only getting a slight nick in the side. She drew as much speed as she could from the Force, frantically waving her saber in a blur to block the dual attacks.

The Sith stood and hammered at her methodically, taking no unnecessary risks. They both knew it was only a matter of time before a strike got through.

Keena knew it was only for a few seconds, but if felt like hours on that floor; a nightmare of red and blue flashes in the smoky ruins of a hotel room.

Finally she managed a weak attack back at her opponent, one the Sith easily dodged, but it gave Keena a glimpse at an object behind her. One she could use.

She stretched her control of the Force to it´s limits, moving her fighting arm at blinding speed while subtly making a telekinetic grab behind the woman´s back.

A powerful swing sent Keena´s lightsaber wide, and for a horrible moment her stomach was left undefended from an attack that would inflict horrible, incapacitating agony. Then she would be dragged off, thrown once more to the mercy of a Sith "medic droid" before delivery to whatever fate Eskon intended for her.

Then the live power cable, severed in the explosion, hit the Sith in the back. She screamed as her flesh cooked, then screamed more as Keena cut her legs off at the knees.

A slash at her face silenced the screaming.

Keena didn´t allow herself a moment of respite. Judging by the sounds the battle in room eleven had moved, but not enough for her tastes.

Though diminished somewhat the dark cloud that was the aura of Dark Jedi was still notable, more so than the auras of the three Jedi . . . whom Keena knew had sensed her by now. However things went the victors would come after her.

To top things off she could sense a mulitude of approaching minds. The Verthandi Vigvöllur´s sizeable guard population had been dispatched.

Unless she moved she faced either mangling and torture by the Sith or another talking at by Revan and her friends. The prospects were equally distasteful.

She waded through the ocean of various aches and pains, and quite possible a mild concussion from the explosion, and rose to her feet.

_Time to make myself scarce . . . again!_

She retrieved the Sith lightsaber and her backpack and staggered out into the hallway.

The stairwells and turbolifts were blocked by force fields, a security measure in case of unruly guests, no doubt.

Keena made herself ignore the pain, reminding herself that she had suffered far worse at Revan´s hands, and shifted gears into a limping jog along the corridor, away from room eleven.

She felt picked on.

_That´s another plan down the drain. Just when was the last time something went the way I wanted it to?_

Then she spotted it. A stairwell leading up was unblocked. Whether it was due to a malfunction or some side effect of the explosion she didn´t care. She took it.

Three floors later she was quite convinced that the force field lockdown extended to the entire hotel, and her only way out was the roof.

_Only 29 floors to go . . ._

She tapped deeply into the Force, both for stamina and speed, limpjogging her way ever upwards, ignoring the pain and the growing stitch.

Floor 42 . . . 43 . . . 44 . . . 45 . . . 46 . . . 47. . . 48 . . . 49 . . . 50 . . . 51 . . . 52 . . .

She stopped on floor 53 to catch her breath, briefly wondering who had won the fight and who would be coming after her.

Her eyes found a reflective section of wall, and the unflattering image that looked back at her.

Keena´s new clothes were torn and covered with dust and dirt, with occasional smears of blood as decoration. Her probably broken nose had oozed red before finally stopping, coloring the lower half of her face, her neck and her chest. Along with the burns on her left shoulder it added to the whole image of a person who had . . . well, had been caught in an explosion.

_This is not a good day in the vanity department._

She made her way up to floor 54.

_Only six to go and I´m out of . . ._

´´Padawan Keena Moray.´´

Yuthura Ban was standing right in front of her. She had been caught in a hallway with force field emitters on both ends of it, and was waiting by one end, with not six feet between the two women.

Keena looked at her silently for a few seconds, keeping her face carefully blank.

´´I´m not a Padawan anymore, Jedi.´´

Yuthura tilted her head and gave her an appraising look, the very image of Jedi serenity. That impeccably peaceful face bothered Keena.

´´You could be again.´´ she said earnestly. ´´You could . . .´´

´´Save it! I did my part for the Jedi, the Republic, the galaxy, the Force, peace and justice, rosy-cheeked babies and all that crap. I´ve had enough.´´

´´Why?´´ It seemed like a perfectly honest question, an honest curiosity. It annoyed Keena more than any sarcasm would have.

´´Why? _Why?!_ Didn´t the Jedi Hero Trio downstairs explain things to you?!´´

´´The basics, yes: You fought under Revan against the Mandalorians, and when she fell she tried to drag you down with her. You escaped, with Eskon´s help. I can´t help but feel there is more to it though.´´

A short laugh jumped out of Keena´s throat, bitter and devoid of humor.

Yuthura didn´t let it bother her.

´´Could you give me some perspective then?´´

´´Perspective? Okay´´ She felt the familiar anger and betrayal flare, not caring that her emotions were easily registering to the Jedi. ´´Okay, I´ll give you perspective: It´s not just the Dark Side that she worked so hard to introduce me to . . . it´s not just that she twisted and turned my friends into mockeries of themselves . . . it´s not just the Sith tortures . . . it´s not just that she scrambled my view of the world and the Force and the universe until I didn´t know which way to face. It´s the betrayal. Do you understand betrayal, Jedi?´´

Yuthura opened her mouth to answer, but Keena wasn´t about to let her until she´d damn well finished.

´´I walked into her web. She threw her spell over me and like everyone else I loved her too much to notice the rot under the glittering surface. I looked up to her as the shining paragon of the Order. And then she turned her ugly, rotten underbelly at me . . .´´ tears of anger and old shame fell down her bloodied face ´´. . . and what did that mean? If _Revan_, the hero of the Jedi Order could be so damn _twisted_ . . .´´ Keena fought for a few seconds before regaining control of her voice ´´. . . then what about the Jedi? How could I go back to the Order when she had oh, so successfully perverted my view of it? So . . . that´s what there is to it. She took everything from me, and the only thing I have left is payback. So save your speeches and your propaganda. I can´t go back because Revan forced me to look at things in a different light, and now I can´t stop.´´

Keena laughed again bitterly.

´´Mind you, she did such a good job of messing with my head I don´t even know which of my own feelings to trust. But it´s not like that earns her any clemency, is it?´´

She fell silent and Yuthura seemed to digest her words.

´´Well, thank you for that.´´ the Jedi said with that peace that Keena found so frustrating in its unattainability. ´´And to answer your question I _do_ know about betrayal, although from a somewhat different perspective.

A short flash of pain shot across the Twi´leks eyes, before she continued.

´´You see, I betrayed the Order as well.´´

She pulled down the collar of her robe, revealing the Sith tattoos adorning her neck and collarbone.

´´I had the ones on my face removed,´´ she explained, ´´to prevent misunderstandings, but the rest stayed. As reminders, of what I had become through my own anger and foolishness, and of what I could become again if I´m not careful.´´

´´You galloped off to the Sith?´´

Yuthura smiled guiltily.

´´Yes. I felt they stifled me, were too slow and careful to truly achieve anything. I wanted to . . . hah, it´s almost funny in retrospect . . . I wanted to combat slavery, to gain power more quickly, to be able to do good without rules and tradition keeping me back. So I joined the Sith.´´

´´Truly brilliant.´´ Keena´s voice was cracklingly dry.

´´Yes, I was foolish. The Dark Side can never be used for good. Slowly but surely I lost all sight of my original goals, and started to strive for power simply for myself, by any means necessary. With enough treachery, backstabbing and cruelty I rose to the rank of Sith Master . . . I even became second in command at the Sith Academy.´´

´´Congratulations.´´

The Twi´lek sighed heavily. ´´I was far into the darkness, without even realising it. I couldn´t pull myself up because I didn´t realise my own corruption.´´ She stared off into thin air, as her voice lowered. ´´I would have been lost forever . . . ´´

There was a pause, and the unfinished sentence hung in the air.

With the jokes fate seemed to enjoy making at her expense, Keena had a sneaking suspicion she knew where the Twi´lek was headed. She grinned bitterly.

´´ " . . . if it hadn´t been for Revan." Right?´´

Yuthura focused her eyes back on Keena, dead serious.

´´Yes. I tried to kill her, officially to secure my place as head of the Academy. But the truth was I wanted to sever my last inhibitions, to overcome the last inner hurdles on my quest for ever more power. If I had succeeded there would have been no hope for me, ever

´´Something tells me you got your head-tails handed to you.´´

´´Yes, that´s . . . that´s one way of putting it. She beat me, quite soundly, and forced me to realise the path I was on.´´

´´Is there a point to this story? Because I have a similar one . . . "although from a somewhat different perspective".´´ snapped Keena.

´´There are two points to it.´´ Smooth and unflapped. ´´Tana brought me back from the darkness . . . she was able to see the good that remained in me and fan it back to life. Rather than take my life as I had tried to take hers she showed mercy and saved me from being consumed by the Dark Side. If that doesn´t show that she has truly returned to the Light Side, then what does? Is there truly no way you can accept that the Darkness in her has been vanquished, and let go of your anger?´´ The Twi´lek locked eyes with Keena, those soft, purple eyes earnest and compelling. ´´Is there no way you can forgive?´´ she asked softly.

Forgive. Put it all behind her. Be able to put Revan out of her mind and continue on with some kind of life. It sounded sweet and wonderful. It sounded like what it was.

A fantasy.

Keena closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and when she spoke her voice was cold, steady and precise.

´´No, Jedi. I can´t forgive. I can´t forget. I have lost the ability. Blame me, or Revan, or the Force, or whatever you want, but that´s just the way it is. I have nothing left but this, nothing to turn to except my anger. And when this whole thing reaches it´s conclusion I´´ll be free, whichever way it goes.´´

She turned and walked towards the stairs leading up to the fifty-fifth floor, feeling a strange moment of calm in her resolution. There was no point in despairing over inevitability.

´´I said there were two points to my story, Keena.´´

She stopped and glanced over her shoulder. ´´Want to stall me some more?´´

´´I wanted to fight slavery because I was a slave myself. It was my anger at my treatment that drove my desire to see quick results. It was that old inner anger that drove me to the Dark Side, even though I didn´t consciously realise it. My point is that I think your anger at Tana stems from a source you haven´t let me in on. Maybe not even let yourself in on. If you could only look within yourself and find the true source of your state, as I did, then perhaps . . .´´

´´You´re wrong!´´ spat Keena, eager to end the conversation. ´´I´m angry at Revan for being a treacherous slime that ruined me and my friends, and that´s it!´´

The moment of resigned calm had passed, replaced by oh, so familiar anger. Keena strode upwards.

_For the love of everything holy, good, or just plain acceptable, at least the Sith don´t want to TALK me to death!_

Keena fumed as she walked.

_She just hit a little close to home,_ came an unwanted voice from within. _But you won´t admit that. Don´t have the courage for it. Never did. Maybe Eskon would still be Eskon if you had a little more spine._

Finally the door to the roof came into sight, prompting a sigh of relief.

Her battered legs, especially the injured right one, ached. Her entire body felt like one big bruise, she was exhausted, and didn´t know how much longer the Force would keep her upright. Her left arm was returning to life though, so she would probably be able to climb down one of the huge support pillars.

Brim´s night air greeted Keena as she walked through the doors and onto the roof.

_Well, that was that. An explosion. A closely called fight. And another Jedi sermon. Oh well, at least I got a bit of information . . ._

´´Welcome.´´ A smooth, cold voice that sent shivers up Keena´s spine came from behind her.

She whipped around just as the Cathar appeared between her and the doors. One moment he wasn´t there, the next one he was.

´´I have been waiting for you long enough, little Jedi. I am Darth Kisi, apprentice to the Dark Lord. And your luck has just run out.´´

He rose over six feet into the air, dressed in a black robe of noticeably fancier design than usual. A deactivated double-bladed lightsaber was held nonchalantly in one clawed hand. His fur had been shaved off, probably to make room for the Sith tattoos decorating his face.

Kisi slowly and calmly started moving towards her, and Keena started walking backwards, each one sizing the other one up.

´´Apprentice to the Dark Lord of the Sith, huh?´´ Keena said with mock awe. ´´Which one?´´

The Sith just grinned, revealing a mouthful of sharpened teeth.

´´The only one who will matter for much longer. Once he has you the other pretenders will be crushed, and the pathetic Jedi Order exterminated once and for all.´´ He chuckled. ´´Well . . . that is his intention anyway. I will play the obedient apprentice for now, but once the tomb is within my grasp I fully intend to take it for myself.´´

_Again this "tomb". He´s talking like I know what he means. Just what is going on?_

´´That camouflage is a neat trick: If the Sith gig doesn´t work out you could always find a career as a pickpocket. It was you I felt yesterday, wasn´t it? On the roof?´´

Darth Kisi dangled his lightsaber hilt between two fingers. His oozing smugness reminded Keena of Pol. ´´Yes, my prey. I´ve been keeping an eye on you since that little crook told me you were here on this mudball . . .´´

´´Aha?´´ Keena kept moving slowly to the middle of the roof where she would have plenty of elbow space. And if she could keep him lost in egotistical exposition she would have more time to work on healing her body.

´´I sent those three Sith, some of my Master´s less useful Dark Jedi, to your room to test your abilities. Revan and her friends have been using this hotel as a meeting place since they got here, and I had intended to be down in the battle when the trap for them was sprung.´´

´´Yeah? Don´t keep me in suspence, O Great Sith Underling.´´ Keena flexed her left arm. It was feeling a lot better, but not enough to wield two lightsabers. One would have to do.

´´When I realised you would be attending yourself, however, I saw an opportunity to both destroy the betrayers Revan and Bastila, _and_ be the one to personally bring you in.´´

Her right leg was another matter. She could handle the pain, but wasn´t sure if she could rely on it to move her around quickly enough.

´´So: When my assassins would be done softening you up, the man I planted in the security room would leave a hole in the force field net for you to come to me . . . as well as tire yourself out.´´ He chuckled. ´´From the looks of you it seems it worked better than I could have hoped for. Now; Revan, General Onasi, and their cohorts are either dead or distracted and you are weakened and within my grasp.´´

Keena reached the middle of the roof and put her feet down heavily, making it clear she had no intention of moving further. The lights of Brim city were all around like a glittering ocean. She fixed him with her best glare and raised her lightsaber hilt. She managed not to make her left arm shake.

´´Enough talk, puss. Let´s fight.´´

The three blades came to life simultaneously. Kisi sprinted at her with a downwards chop. When she moved to block it he made a quick switch to an upwards swing with the other blade. Keena barely got out of the way, somersaulting backwards.

Her right leg buckled as she landed, and she almost keeled over. A push of Force power put her back on balance, just in time to parry Kisi´s next attack.

He moved with a catlike grace and smoothness, just like Juhani, and his attacks were powerful, each one jarring the the battered woman´s arms as she parried. She drew on the Force as well as she could, but there was only so much that it could do for her exhausted limbs and she found herself being pushed backwards.

_I will not be taken down by Pol Svikari with a lightsaber!_

Keena´s legs did an unsteady dance as they struggled to move backwards quickly enough without bumping into one another. Kisi obviously knew this and pressed on furiously with a flurry-like series of attacks, abandoning defense for a whirlwind of red-glowing death. Keena would have considered it a foolish tactic, if not for the fact that she was too busy just keeping all her bodyparts intact to take advantage of it.

In fact, aside from the fact that he was aiming for dismembering and/or disabling attacks she saw no real flaw in his technique.

_I´m not going to win this by sheer skill, not in this condition. I need to get smart._

A light jolt of Force power suddenly hit her, just enough to knock her off balance and allow a red blade to hammer against her blue one, inches away from her body. For a few seconds the two stood, sabers locked, pushing against one another with all their might. Their faces leaned in close and Keena could see her reflection in his decolored eyes.

Suddenly he let up on the tension, causing Keena to stumble forward. He twisted to the side and sent his foot out in a spin kick that impacted on her back.

Keena´s tired lungs were forcibly emptied as she fell forward.

_Okay Keena, smartness is not happening yet!_

She managed to turn the fall into a roll, and the stab intended for her went through the roof instead. Keena spun around as she lay on her knees and swung, trying to take out his saber hilt.

Kisi simply jumped into the air and came down with a chop, this time aimed at her lightsaber blade. Their blades met and slowly but surely he started forcing her blade downwards.

´´Had enough yet, Jedi?´´

´´I . . .´´ she said through gritted teeth, ´´am not . . . a Jedi!´´

She deactivated her lightsaber, and Kisi´s lightsaber again plunged into the roof, surprising him momentarily.

Keena sprang to her feet, instantly reactivating the blade and chopped down on his head, putting desperate strength in the blow, even though she had been tought not to. Her strength and stamina were failing and it felt like the only thing keeping her upright was her failing grasp upon the Force. The battle needed to end quickly or there was no doubt she would lose it.

He parried the attack. And he rose up, slowly pushing Keena´s lightsaber aside. His smug grin hadn´t let up.

She pumped all her anger, frustration and Force power into her muscles, momentarily stopping the push.

Kisi let go of his lightsaber with his left hand. It shot out and his wicked claws buried themselves in her right arm.

He laughed as she screamed, barely managing to keep his lightsaber away from her.

The Cathar pulled her closer and smashed his forehead into her already busted nose. Keena saw stars and her eyes watered from the pain.

Her grip on the lightsaber weakened as Kisi´s claws scraped against her arm bone, and he started again to push it towards her. This time, she knew, she would not be able to stop it.

A blaster suddenly went off. A bolt flew across the roof from the doors and grazed Kisi´s left hand.

He grunted in surprise and kicked Keena in the ribs, knocking her down, as another bolt flew at him. He moved his lightsaber to intercept it, and it flew back to it´s source.

Keena, lying on her back, recognized the Force aura. She was weakly trying to pick up her lightsaber with either of her injured arms and get up when Kisi raised his hand.

An invisible vice clamped around Keena´s throat, reminding her horribly of Revan, and she hissed involuntarily as all the air was squeezed out of her lungs.

´´It´s been fun, little Jedi . . . or whatever you are, but it seems I may have to make my exit sooner than I had hoped.´´

Her vision started to dim, and the power left her limbs. She weakly tried sending a Force wave at him, but he just grinned . . .

_I´m getting really sick of that grin._

. . . stood tall through the weak attack . . .

_Really, really sick._

. . . and tightened his telekinetic grip.

_Well, two can play that game, buddy._

She raised her hand in a mimic of Kisi´s gesture, and he moved his free hand to his throat, grinning as he expected to ward off another pitiful attack.

Suddenly his eyes widened, and he let out a long howl of agony as both his hands moved to his groin. As air flowed back into her lungs Keena tightened her grip and watched as Kisi staggered backwards, his grin replaced by a grimace of horrible pain.

She found the whole thing comic.

´´Don´t like it, do you?´´ she rasped. She lifted both hands and increased the pressure. Kisi fell on his knees, making horrible noises. ´´Don´t like it at all?!´´

Keena scooped up her lightsaber in her left hand, got up, and screamed as she let the Force propell her into the air and at Darth Kisi.

He fell down into two matching halves.

Keena fell down on her knees, clicked the lightsaber back onto her belt, and rubbed her sore throat for a few moments.

When her breathing started to return to normal she slowly and painfully got up.

´´Well, that´s that.´´ she said to the world at large.

The advancing Force aura Keena sensed suddenly reminded her that she wasn´t alone on the roof.

Mission, with Bendak Starkiller´s blaster aimed straight at Keena, was coming towards her. The blaster bolt Kisi had sent back at her had apparently not made it through the finely crafted Echani armor she wore, but it had probably hurt like hell and knocked the air out of her.

She looked angry, Keena noted. Angry and hurt.

´´Tana, Bastila and Juhani were able to shield us from the blast.´´ Her voice was tense. ´´The Sith were probably expecting us to be in worse shape when they swarmed in, so they were probably a little caught off guard. I caught a glimpse of you through the hole . . . dealing with those Sith, and when everything was more or less under control I decided we oughta have a little chat. I met Yuthura on the way up, and she told me not to go up, but I didn´t care.´´

She stopped between Keena and the closest support pillar, with about twenty feet between them.

´´I liked you, y´know? I appreciated you helping me and Big Z out. And you used me to get close enough to kill one of my best friends.´´

Keena couldn´t think of anything positive to say, and didn´t have the energy for anything bitter or defiant. She just felt drained and tired. All she could do was focus on keeping her face carefully blank.

´´Why?´´

Keena took a deep breath and waited a few seconds before answering. ´´Well . . . would you feel the same if she betrayed you? If she´d decided to join Bastila on the Rakatan temple and kill everyone who stood in her way? But that never occurred to you, did it? You stood by her as a true friend after you all found out the truth. How could you not? That´s what she does. And look where it got Malak . . . and Eskon . . . and me.´´

´´She´s different now!´´ Mission predictably jumped to her friend´s defense. ´´She fell to the Dark Side, you know that! It can happen to any Jedi!´´

´´Not her . . .´´ Keena muttered weakly and mostly to herself. ´´It couldn´t just . . . _happen_ . . . to Revan.´´

´´Tana! She´s Tana now!´´ Mission looked hurt on her friend´s behalf. ´´Why can´t you understand that?´´

All Keena could manage was a cynical snort.

Mission´s lips scrunched up, though whether it had to do with having her friend´s nasty past brought back or simply with Keena herself, the former Padawan didn´t know. Keena found herself hoping the girl wouldn´t get misty-eyed. It would just perfect her day.

´´Well,´´ the Twi´lek said stiffly, ´´it won´t matter much longer. The rest will be coming up soon enough . . . They´ll know what to do with you.´´

´´No, Mission,´´ Keena said as firmly as she could manage, ´´I´m going to leave now, and you are not going to stop me.´´

The girl raised her intimidating blaster to the level of Keena´s face. ´´Yeah, I am. You look like you´ve been through a meat grinder, your lightsaber is in your belt, and I´m not going to let you hurt any of my friends . . . no matter what it takes.´´

Keena wondered how serious she was. Those innocent eyes didn´t strike her as those of a cold-blooded killer, although she could of course always go for an incapacitating shot. And yes, Keena´s lightsaber was indeed in her belt, although even if it had been in her hand she didn´t know how much use it would be with both of her arms injured. And even so, then what? Wield her lightsaber, symbol of the defenders of the Jedi Order, against this girl?

_N . . . No. No. Not that. Oh, Force . . . have I fallen so far?_

A distressed breath escaped Keena´s lips as she looked up at the starry sky.

After a few moments she lowered her eyes to lock with those of the Twi´lek´s.

´´Mission,´´ she said wearily but firmly, with the power of the Force´´put the blaster down.´´

Mission´s resolve wavered. Keena felt her struggle against her will for a few moments.

´´N . . .´´ The blaster took a slight downwards dip before coming back up. ´´No!´´ The girl set her mouth in a firm scowl and glared at her defiantly.

Keena had to admit to being impressed, but time was running out.

She reached deep within her weary self and poured the Force out as hard as she dared. She didn´t want to harm the girl.

´´Put . . . the blaster . . . down.´´

Mission struggled . . . hard. The battle was uneven though, and she gritted her teeth and grunted in frustration as her arm lowered, holding the blaster harmlessly by her side.

Keena walked towards the support pillar behind Mission, while the girl´s eyes burned into her with humiliation and anger. She stopped as she walked past her and met her gaze.

´´Sorry´´ she muttered offhandedly. It felt almost farcical.

She continued walking, but Mission grabbed her right shoulder.

´´Just keep in mind what you´re doing, okay?´´ she said tensely. ´´Just put a little thought into it.

Keena shrugged her hand off and walked to the edge, jumped off, and rode the support pillar down like a slide.

The Force softened her landing . . . somewhat . . . and she walked as fast as she could off in a random direction. She trudged through Brim´s alleys without any pattern or plan, since those could be predicted by pursuers, until her legs threatened an immediate and total strike.

A partially demolished building offered shelter and she walked in, found a filthy, beat-up mattress, and collapsed.

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**Author´s note:** Finally an update! Sorry it took so long. I´ll try to be quicker next time.

How did you like the fights, and Keena´s . . . unconventional . . . use of the Force?

sanitycloud10: See what I meant when I said Canderous wouldn´t enjoy a run-in with Keena?


	11. Struggle 11

**Author´s note:** Update! Finally! And happy New Year everyone!

Undead American: Don´t worry, I´m not going to do any Revan/Carth. Aside from the fact that the plot doesn´t really allow for any romantic interludes, I took the third option offered by the game.

I don´t really have much to say except: Thanks once again to all my readers for their kind words.

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Keena slowly came to her senses, almost wishing that she hadn´t. She could have sworn that even her soles hurt as she sat up.

She had managed to tear off a piece of her cloak to use as a crude bandage for her right arm before passing out the previous night. She knew very well though that she would either need medical attention or kolto for it to be of any real use.

_So, what the hell now?_ she thought glumly. _Won´t be able to put up much of a fight if they find me. And I won´t be able to just tell the Jedi to put their weapons down, like with Mission._

Mission. The feelings she had sensed from the girl . . . anger, feelings of betrayal, disappointment . . . Keena clenched her jaw as she realised how close those feelings were to her own, albeit less potent.

_No! No I´m not! I´m not like Revan! I jus . . . I wan . . ._ Keena´s nails dug into her palms as she fought yet another battle for her frail self-image.

_I have every right to be angry! _She patched the holes in her image with force of will and anger. Deep down, though, she felt the oh so familiar sting of doubt.

´´I´m not bad . . .´´ she muttered weakly under her breath. ´´I was just stupid enough to trust Revan . . . stupid enough to leave Eskon behind alive . . . stupid enough to sit on my hands all this time . . .´´

She leaned against the wall, closed her eyes and sighed. ´´. . . stupid . . .´´

When she actually felt her eyes moisten she gave herself a mental kick, wiped her eyes and drew the anger tight around her heart to shield from the pain. She couldn´t remember the last time she´d cried. Gotten teary with anger and disappointment, yes, but not cried.

_Some damn instrument of vengeance I am._

A bitter, self-deriding laughter escaped her lips.

_Enough. Time for a plan . . . not that those seem to work out lately._

Keena´s stomach growled fiercely, reminding her that she hadn´t eaten in a while.

_Right. Food, then plan._

She stood up and shifted her weight between legs experimentally. Although both legs had been hurt in the explosion, just like the rest of her, the left one was more of an annoyance than anything else. The right one had recovered somewhat, although it too would need healing to be fully useable.

Next Keena moved both arms. The left one was more or less okay, although the burn hurt. The right arm was the real problem. Darth Kisi had really ripped up the muscles. The makeshift bandage and the feeble healing power Keena could channel into the wound had stopped the bleeding, but any careless movement might open it up again.

She felt another stab of hunger.

_Ah well, one problem at a time. Can´t very well get anything done without nourishment._

Keena limped out of the ruined house and into the streets.

--------------------

Even looking as she did Keena didn´t draw much attention. The population of Brim´s scummy streets was divided into victims and victimizers. Most who laid eyes on her most likely figured her for a newcomer who had been stupid enough to wander into the wrong alley, and didn´t spare her a second glance.

It felt strange that Brim´s scummyness was working to her advantage.

She approached the first lower-quality diner she found, stopped by the doors and glanced around.

Keena had kept up her Force cloak ever since leaving the Verthandi Vigvöllur, and for the Jedi to find her in the crowds was very unlikely. Lately, however, probability had been turned upside down. She neither saw nor sensed anything, though, and walked in.

The first stop was the fresher, where she locked the door and washed the blood off her face.

As the surprisingly plentiful red washed down the drain Keena further examined the additional damage she had received in her fight with Kisi.

_With Eskon´s apprentice_,she reminded herself.

She carefully washed the cuts on her arm, as well as the bandage before replacing it.

Keena sighed and met her mirror self´s stare, reflecting that she really did look as tired as she felt. Body and soul.

_In addition to looking like a prizefighter, _she thought as she tentatively prodded the cut on the bridge of her nose.

Finally she did her best to clean her clothes. It felt like silly vanity; not wanting to look like she´d lost a fight.

Keena moved to the counter and assessed her options. As a Jedi she´d always taken good care of her body, maintaining a well-balanced and nutricious diet. The meals offered by the diner were about as far removed from that as possible.

Still, they had a certain . . . attraction.

_Well, it´s not like giving in to gluttony is my biggest concern right now._

She ordered deep-fried bantha nuggets with unspeakably greasy sauce, a soft-drink, and artery-abusing accompaniments she neither could, nor wanted to, identify.

Keena ate with her left hand, and her tastebuds went berserk.

After the questionable meal was through, she sat back with a cup of caffa and feigned interest in the holoscreen playing some sport event or another and considered her next move, as well as waiting for the food to digest.

Half an hour after entering the diner, she was still just as clueless. She would need either time to heal, which probably wasn´t an option (and anyway she didn´t feel much like waiting), or kolto. A year ago Keena had known a few people who would know where to find the precious fluid, but probably all of them knew Pol Svikari. And since he had made a deal with the Sith to give away her location there was a good chance that he had at least told them to keep an eye open for her. She _needed_ her wounds fixed, though, so it was just a question of whom to take chances with.

She was contemplating whether or not to have a second helping when she sensed a familar presence. One that didn´t invite bitterness or apprehension, but just simple anger. And a certain glee.

She got up from the greasy table, went past the greasy clientel and into the street. She caught a look at him just as he vanished behind a corner.

´´Pol.´´

_About time the laws of probability break in my favor. I can´t go after Revan just yet . . . but you I can handle._

Keena elbowed her way through the crowd until she made it around the corner. He was still within sight. Right in the middle of the street in fact; easily noticeable.

_Sloppy Pol. Sloppy._

She dug back in her memory for the skills she had picked up during her . . . second career, and combined them with her Force skills to tail him without drawing attention to it.

He led her to one of Brim City´s less populated areas, one full of storehouses for various syndicates and small hangars where for a large amount of credits one´s starship could rest in relative safety.

The thinning sea of people made the tailing more difficult. She had to let him out of her sight and trust in the Force to allow her to follow him. Of course every use of the Force made her detection by Sith or Jedi more likely, but damned if she was going to risk him getting away.

As she peeked around a corner and saw him approach an open air hangar she felt the fury boil.

_Give me away to the Sith, will you? Have me sent back into a Sith "interrogation" room, or whatever it is they have planned for me? Oh Pol, Pol . . . you picked the wrong circumstances to mess with me. You´ll do fine in holding me over until I get to Revan._

Keena ran after him on silent toes, her right hand instinctively going for her old lightsaber. A sharp jolt of pain reminded her of her injury as she ran through the gate into the hanger. Pol turned around, smirking, with a blaster pistol in hand, and leaned against his ship.

Keena´s left hand snatched the Sith lightsaber out of her left pocket and activated it with a snap-hiss. The angry, crimson color seemed to match her mood perfectly and she briefly reflected that that was probably the reason the Sith preferred red focusing crystals.

She held the saber in a one handed grip, with about fifty feet separating the two of them.

´´Pol,´´ she growled.

´´Keen,´´ Pol sounded as self-satisfied as ever, ´´you look a little worse for wear, if you don´t mind me saying so. Hope the latest-supposedly-greatest Sith Lord doesn´t mind damaged goods.´´

Keena waved the red beam slowly. ´´Yes Pol, let´s talk "damage".´´

Enough sense made it through the anger for her to wonder why he was so casual. She let herself open up to the Force, sharpened her senses and felt her surroundings. There were no other life forms close by.

However, she picked up the buzzing of energy systems, the almost imperceptible whirring of motors: There were cloaked droids on either side of her.

And there was something else . . .

´´Expecting me, were you?´´ There was always the chance of Pol actually being smug enough to reveal what he had in store.

´´I had no idea you were worth so much to the right people, kid. With the kind of money Darth Eskon is willing to bleed for your delivery . . . well, I figured it was worth taking a few chances. And you said it yourself: I know everyone worth knowing on this spitball, and I only had to wait for one of them to see you and contact me. Then I just needed you to follow me here.´´ His fleshy grin stretched over his features. ´´Thanks for complying.´´

´´Oh anytime, Pol. Anytime.´´

_What is he waiting for? He doesn´t know I know about the droids._

Then she saw it. A tiny shimmer on the ground between them. Like one made by a mine with a cloaking field.

Keena relaxed some of the tension from her body, and allowed herself a deriding laughter.

´´Pol: I realise you are your own biggest fan . . . but a few hours ago I killed a Dark Lord´s apprentice. I think it´s time for a lesson.´´

She sprang sideways through the air, slicing her lightsaber through the two cloaked droids on her left. The ones on her right uncloaked and along with their owner opened fire with low-intensity blasts.

The red lightsaber beam wove a dizzying pattern as it intercepted each and every one, sending the ones from the droids back to their source.

Just as the last droid fell Pol pulled something out of his pocket and hurled it.

Keena didn´t want to damage the ship so the wave of Force energy she threw at it sent the grenade to the side rather than back to it´s origin.

_Pity. It would have made for a comic moment._

Instead of the expected explosion came a wide splash of sticky goo. Keena wasn´t quite out of the area of effect and some of the adhesive stuck to her leg and glued her to the ground.

Keena sensed the delicious trepidation from the man as he double-tapped the trigger. Guided by the Force she found the correct angle to hold the lightsaber to sent the bolts right back. They slammed into his chest, not making it through the cleverly disguised Echani armor, but sending him reeling back nonetheless.

She stuck the red beam into the goo, burning it away. At the same time her will moved the blue lightsaber from her belt and sent it activated in Pol´s direction.

Keena didn´t need to look to know that it had hit. His agonized scream told the whole story.

She casually finished burning herself free, sidestepped the mine, and called the lightsaber back to her as she walked over to Pol.

He was prone on the ground, his left hand holding the burned wound at his shoulder where his right arm had been.

´´You know, you dropped something,´´ Keena said as she kicked the severed limb to its owner.

´´You bitch!´´ he screamed, eyes wide with agony and disbelief. ´´You took my arm you stupid Jedi bitch!´´

´´Pol, right now . . .´´ she put her heel down on his throat, ´´_you _are the bitch.´´

_Kill him, _a voice whispered. _Make him scream._

A few seconds passed in silence as she balanced her anger against her need for information.

Finally she took her foot off his neck and held the red lightsaber inches from his face as he coughed.

´´Right, Pol,´´ she said through her teeth, voice diamond-hard with fury. ´´You are going to tell me everything you know about Darth Eskon, and you are going to do it now.´´ She stabbed the beam into the ground right next to his ear, letting him hear the sizzling sound. ´´Defiance is not an option.´´

´´He . . . he se . . . sent . . .´´ his voice shook with pain but he brought it under control. ´´He sent his spies around this sector a few months ago, asking around about you, and . . . ohh . . . and promising a huge bounty for anyone who could give him your location. Darth Kisi and his men came here about the same time as the Republic Fleet . . . gnnh . . . doing I don´t know what, spying or something. Anyway, I-I knew it was you they were looking for but nobody knew where you had gone. But then you showed up. I had done some . . . some spying for the Sith, and I talked to Kisi. Aaahhh . . . but when you killed him last night I contacted his Master. He promised a fortune for bringing you to him alive. Uhhhh . . . even suggested the method.´´

´´Bring me where?´´

´´He said he´d be in a small private shuttle, something about this being his business and nobody elses´, by Gildra. I got the coordinates in the _Blue Wing´s _computer.´´

Keena held her breath. ´´And?´´

´´And _what_?! That´s all I know! I never even met him!´´

´´Eskon . . . Eskon is going to be all alone in a private shuttle?´´

´´That´s what I said!´´

_No troops. No epic battle going on. Just me and him . . ._

Keena took a deep breath and hardened her resolve. The lightsaber inched closer to the squirming amputee. ´´You know, I can´t help but wonder what the odds are of you telling him I´m on my way . . . even though Sith Lords don´t take kindly to failure or . . .´´ she gnashed her teeth ´´. . . disobedience.´´

Suddenly Keena sensed . . . something. Like some undefined threat she couldn´t place.

She glanced around. Nothing.

´´Did you do something?´´

Pol just stared at her silently.

´´Is someone . . .´´

Then the feeling was overshadowed by another one. One she remembered quite well from the war. She looked up in the sky. A few seconds later she was not in the least surprised when a squadron of Sith capital ships came out of hyperspace. Even less so when they opened fire on the Republic ships.

_Guess Carth was right._

She alternated her glance between the sudden orbital battel and Pol. The original feeling hadn´t let up. Like there was just . . . _some_ reason why she shouldn´t kill him.

Very, very grudgingly she deactivated the lightsaber, and grabbed his ship ID out of his breast pocket.

´´I´ll get back to you Pol, count on it.´´

She put her heel on his nose as a farewell before stepping on board the _Blue Wing_, and shutting the exit ramp behind her.

Keena ran to the cockpit, powered up the engines, and took to the air.

As she soared through Brim´s atmosphere she saw a volley of missiles hit the Republic landing site, as well as some of the Republic soldier hang outs.

She couldn´t tell the exact number of Sith ships, but it seemed to her that if anything Carth had understated Eskon´s resources. The capital ships lined up in ideal attack formations, hammering the Republic fleet with unified hails of turbolaser blasts, while fighters emerged to buss around the giant ships like swarms of insects. She even sensed several powerful Dark Side Force adepts, quite likely the reason she hadn´t sensed the incoming fleet earlier.

_Eskon . . . this is what we fought AGAINST._

Republic starfighters emerged from their parents to engage the Sith ones, but they seemed terribly outnumbered and outmaneuvered.

Guided by the Force, Keena dodged an exploding Republic fighter as she looked up Gildra´s coordinates in Pol´s computer.

As she was out of practice, Keena was unprepared for the aura of large-scale death and fear as it hit her. It brought back the war and everything about it with terrible clarity.

_Not again!_

Lives, hopes, and dreams crushed in an instant. All for the sake of a perverted ideal.

_Not! Again!_

Keena slammed her fist down on the controls, activating the hyperdrive.

The last she saw of the Republic fleet it was starting to line up in defensive formations.

Then there was just the blue swirl of hyperspace.

--------------------

Keena sat in glum silence in the _Blue Wing_´s darkened cockpit.

She had left Brim behind an hour ago, but the sick feelings generated by the battle lingered.

During the war, back when she had at least some amount of mental discipline, they had crept up on her, and slowly but surely taken hold.

Now, with her ragged mind twisting this way and that it seemed she was like a black hole; sucking in the death and pain.

_A Jedi would be able to block these feelings . . . to accept the death, _she thought wearily, _and a Sith would relish it._ _And here I am: Neither, and nothing . . . chafing in the middle . . . being pulled both ways like an elastic band . . . stretched so thin . . ._

Her thoughts had been along these lines for this last hour, very familiar in nature, only enhanced by recent events.

_Jedi fighting for their notions of freedom and peace . . . and the Sith fighting for power and ideas of natural selection. And me doing absolutely nothing of any use to either._

The darkness of the ship seemed to close in, thicken and choke.

_All this power I have . . . and yet I am pathetic._

She leaned forward to prop her chin on her hands, and the pain in her arm brought her back.

_Oh, right. Injuries. Since Pol needed me alive, and is a parasite prone to getting into trouble, chances are he stocked up on kolto. Better see what I have._

Keena activated the ship lights, squinting as her eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness. She moved backwards through the ship, carefully examining each room. Even if she found nothing of use at least the search would distract her from her own inner voices for a little while.

The sleeping cabin was quite ordinary, with a change of clothes in the closet and little else. Same went for the fresher; nothing but what one would expect. A storage room was full of various tools and parts for repairing engines and weapons. Eating area: Normal.

It wasn´t until she got to the second cabin that things got interesting. Pol had at some point converted it into a simple medical bay. A medical droid he had apparently scavanged for parts lay deactivated in a corner; it wouldn´t be much help. The belt of kolto hyposhots lying on the bed would, however.

_Some luck at last._

Keena pulled out a handful of shots and injected them one by one into various parts of her body.

She sat down heavily on the bed and lay back as the fluids´ miraculous effects kicked in, soothing her aches and pains. If her mood hadn´t been so grim she might even have enjoyed the feeling.

She unwrapped the crude bandage around her right arm and watched as the wounds closed, leaving only pale, scabby skin behind. Her right hand found the lightsaber in her belt and swung it through the air experimentally. No pain.

_Great, I´m a lean, mean, side-less fighting machine once more._

Keena clicked the saber hilt back into her belt. As she did so her hand brushed against something hard on the bed.

She picked up and examined the metallic ring, and realised it was a neural disruptor collar. In her size.

Her eyes glanced at the shelf holding various medical supplies and found the hypos of hardcore tranquilizer.

Eskon´s attempt at capturing her may have been pathetic but apparently his attempt at transporting her would have been less so.

Keena threw the collar into a corner.

_Damn vermin._

She went back to the cockpit and double-checked the readings. She was still headed for Gildra. A course that would take her into Sith space.

She knew of Gildra. It was and old mining planet, long since stripped bare of any valuable minerals, and well out of the way. She had in fact considered it when looking for a place to exile herself, but it´s horrible conditions nixed that idea.

It was a barren wasteland, with nothing more interesting than blowing sand, mountains and abandoned mines. To top it off it was surrounded by a thick asteroid field, with the occasional rock making it through the atmosphere.

Plenty of hiding places. And Eskon would most likely be in one of them.

_What the hell am I going to do? Sheesh . . . it was simpler with Revan . . . who might be dead now._

Could it be? Had the former Sith Lord moved beyond Keena´s revenge?

_No. No it . . . she has a knack for worming out of tight situations. She HAS to be alive._

Keena felt a strange clenching within herself. She struggled uselessly to find the source. Had she felt this way when she heard news of Revan´s "death" at Bastila´s hands? She couldn´t remember.

She leaned back in the pilot´s chair and put a hand over her eyes.

_Why can´t I EVER sort out my feelings?_

Eventually Keena took a good long soak in the shower, enjoying the momentary respite it gave her from her own mind. Her torn, bloody, ragged clothes went into the washer.

As she activated the washer Keena had a mild start when she realised that in a way she had gone in a circle. This felt uncomfortably much like her trip from J-3109.

_Yeah, except no Zaalbar . . . and no Mission. Somehow I don´t think she´ll be all that willing to fraternize with me any more._

Why did that bother her, she wondered as she walked stark naked to the cabin. It´s not like she´d ever entertained any thoughts of being able to make friends with her. Or had she?

Keena lay down on Pol´s bed, after changing the sheets, and wondered.

_Could I have made friends with her? One of Revan´s best buddies?_

She sighed. What was the point of wondering? It would never happen now. No friends, no loyalties, no home.

She picked up the two lightsabers and activated them. Half the room was bathed in a crimson light, the other in a blue one. She stood up and took a fighting pose in front of the full length mirror. The two weapons illuminated each half of her face.

_How about that? The Force threw me a metaphor._

She deactivated the Sith saber and threw it onto a nightstand.

She sat down and stared into the blue beam.

_This used to mean something to me. It . . . stood for something. _I _stood for something._

She swung it in a few circles.

_And then it just became a piece of baggage . . . a souvenir I held onto for sentimental reasons. And what is it now?_

Keena had no answer. She threw the hilt next to the other one, lay back, and closed her eyes.

-------------------

_She was running through a battlefield, on some world or another, blasted beyond recognition by the Mandalorians. The squad was right behind her, charging up the hill towards the enemy._

_The__Mandalorians came out of their cover and opened fire with their heavy repeaters, creating a hailstorm of hot death._

_Keena´s brilliant, shining lightsaber wove through the air, deflecting bolt after bolt, sending some back to their origin._

_But there were more . . . and more . . . and more. Another Mandalorian squad joined the first one and the shots started getting through, cutting into the Republic troops._

_Keena drew speed from the Force, moving with superhuman quickness, but she felt the men die one by one. Their pain was like hot gashes across the Padawan´s soul._

_Finally the last one fell, his death joining the already thick aura of slaughter that dominated the battlefield. Even more pointless death._

_´´Monsters!´´ she screamed, leaping at last to the top of the impossibly high hill. She landed right in the middle of the enemy and started swinging furiously. _

_´´Stupid . . . evil . . . savages!´´_

_Her blade sliced through armor, torsos and limbs, mowing them down like nothing. Exterminating them like the insects they were._

_The last one fell. To late she noticed the grenade he had in his hand. And had already activated._

_The explosion hit her._

_When she came to she was in a darkened room. Dark in more than one way. It stank of corruption and evil._

_Keena looked up . . . and saw a Jedi, chained to a torture table. His torso had a chastly wound going through it, and his face had been horribly mutilated with a lightsaber._

_´´Eskon!´´_

_The Dark Lord of the Sith, clad in her trademark black armor, hooded cloak, and mask, looked up from her work._

_´´Ah, there you are. Come to play the saviour, like he did?´´ the Dark Lord said mockingly. ´´A little late for that, don´t you think?´´_

_Ignoring her wounds Keena rose, charging the dark figure with a scream._

_The Dark Lord dodged the thrusting attack as she brought her hand out from behind her._

_Mandalore´s short sword sliced through Keena´s intestines._

_Her momentum couldn´t be stopped though, and she slammed into her enemy, bringing them both down._

_As Keena fell on top of her, the Dark Lord retaliated by shoving the sword even deeper._

_The Padawan could taste her own blood, and felt the warmth leave her body._

_With desperate strength she tore at the mask. She had to finally see the face, had to look her enemy in the eyes._

_´´I hate you!´´_

_The mask came off._

_´´I know you do´´ Keena´s face said back at her._

--------------------

Keena awoke drenched in cold sweat, flailing wildly at the suffocating darkness. It took her a few moments to tear herself away from the dream and into the real world.

She was sitting in the _Blue Wing_´s darkened cockpit. After a four day journey, she was almost to Gildra. She took a few deep breaths, trying to shake off the nightmare, and glanced at the control panel. Only a few minutes to go, in fact.

_So Keena, are you just going to wing this one too?_

Even after the four days of tedium, desperate to distract her mind from its self-destructive habits, she had come up with nothing.

_Things will just have to play out whichever way they will. I just wish they didn´t have such a tendency to play out bad._

Something poked at the corners of Keena´s consciousness. Something demanded her attention.

She frowned, and concentrated. There had been a momentary . . . flicker . . . in the Force, just as she had been waking up. Like something had been observing her.

The ship had remained in hyperspace ever since leaving Brim. There was no way anyone could have snuck on board since then, and it had certainly been empty when she stole it.

And anyway, nothing could have remained hidden for so long.

Keena was close to dismissing the feeling when she remembered something.

´´This ship is small,´´ she said out loud to the cockpit. ´´There is no way anyone could have hidden from me for this long . . . except for a Cathar Jedi.´´

She swiveled the pilot´s chair away from the controls and faced the seemingly empty cockpit.

Juhani materialised in front of her.


	12. Struggle 12

The two women eyed each other in tense silence. Neither moved.

Keena kept her limbs and Force powers carefully still, not wanting to set the Jedi off, but kept her eyes glued on the Cathar for any sudden movements. Juhani mirrored her behaviour.

_A Jedi. Six feet in front of me. What. Do. I. Do. Now?_

What information Mission had given her on Juhani during their trip from J-3109 had mostly been about her personality, not the specifics of her combat capabilities. It was probably safe to assume, though, that she was a formidable opponent.

_Yeah, well, so was Malak . . ._

As for personality information, Mission had described her as being in a way even more deeply loyal to the Jedi ideals than Bastila.

_And what does that mean? She sure as all hell won´t stand by and let me get even with Revan. But what about Eskon? Will she try to stop me there? And what will I do if she does? Damn it! This is why I wanted to stay clear of any Jedi!_

With the tension she felt building up inside her, Keena was slightly startled when Juhani finally spoke.

´´Hello,´´ she said softly. ´´You can relax your guard if you wish. I don´t mean you any harm Pad . . .´´ Keena´s sharp glare made the Jedi catch herself, ´´ . . . Keena.´´

Keena looked at her in silence for a few seconds, keeping completely still and with her gaze locked on the Cathar.

´´I sensed you back in the hangar, didn´t I? It was you. Ready to stop me from taking that worm´s life.´´

´´I could not just stand by and let you murder him in cold blood. No matter what he was guilty of.´´

´´No, you couldn´t, could you?´´ Keena answered dryly. ´´How . . . _noble _of you.´´ It was meant to be sarcastic, but just came out as a tired sigh. The woman´s attitude reminded Keena painfully of her old self.

She hurriedly changed the subject.

´´So . . . it´s obvious you were following me with your stealth powers, and slipped into the ship just as I did,´´ Keena said with false casualness. ´´What I´m curious about is: How did you find me?´´

´´I followed the signal from the tracker Mission put on you. When she grabbed your shoulder on top of the hotel.´´

_Ah. _Keena felt like an idiot. She almost reached her hand to feel her shoulder but knew she wouldn´t find anything. Such trackers were tiny enough to disappear into clothing fabric. _That clever little Twi´lek. Guess the last laugh is hers._

Keena´s bitter chuckle didn´t seem to bother Juhani.

´´We all discussed the situation, and decided that I should follow you to . . . observe you and your movements. Tana was following from a distance, in case your presence would draw out the Sith again.´´ The Cathar sounded almost apologetic for the stalking.

´´Seems my presence wasn´t needed for that.´´ _She could have jumped me anytime, anywhere. She could have waited until I was asleep the first night on this ship and pumped me full of that rancor-tranquilizer in the medical bay. Hell, she could have dragged my unconscious butt to a holding cell right after the hotel. _The thought of having been so vulnerable without even knowing it made Keena inexplicably angry.

´´Yes. Eskon´s Dark Jedi must have somehow combined their power to conceal their approach to Force sensitive minds. They did the same on Dantooine.´´

Keena raised an eyebrow. ´´So you decided to follow little old me, rather than stay and help your friends take on the big, bad Sith?´´

´´Yes. It wasn´t easy but I - I had to prioritise.´´

Keena raised the other eyebrow. ´´Prioritise?´´

´´Well . . . yes. It´s obvious to me that _you_ are somehow the key to the Sith efforts in this sector. I couldn´t risk them getting their hands on you.´´

Keena looked at her incredulously. ´´_Look_: I don´t know how the Sith, or you, got that idea. I spent the last year in isolation, and three years before that as far removed from all this as possible. I have nothing that would help in a war effort. Nor any interest in doing so.´´

Juhani looked at her thoughtfully for a few moments, as if trying to gauge Keena´s sincerity.

´´Well, whether there is something you do not realise or if the Sith have made a mistake, it´s clear that they are after you. And here you are; running straight to Darth Eskon. Don´t you see anything wrong with that?´´

Keena didn´t sense any direct threat from the Jedi. Merely . . . readiness. She crossed her arms and leaned back in the chair.

´´Look, I just . . . I just have to do this,´´ she growled through clenched teeth. Angry at having to explain herself. Angry because she knew Juhani was right. ´´Four years ago he saved me, or as far as I could be saved anyway, and _I_ _left him behind_. I thought he was dead, but it turns out he wasn´t. And because of my mistake he is now a slave to the Dark Side like everyone else Revan sunk her claws into. ´´I . . .,´´ she took a deep breath while searching for words. ´´I have to see him. If only . . . if only to apologize.´´

Juhani´s sad eyes looked into Keena´s. With pity and . . . understanding?

´´I understand being angry with oneself. And needing to apologise. More than you might ever realise. But you can´t let your feelings control you. Not when there is so much at stake. Don´t you remember the teachings from your apprenticeship? Weren´t you taught to guard your feelings?´´

Keena could tell the Cathar was trying hard not to sound preachy, and she felt a strange . . . empathy, with this woman. It wasn´t enough to stop her next words, though.

´´To guard against feelings?´´ she said, playing out her hunch. ´´Such as your feelings for Revan?´´

This obviously caught Juhani off guard.

´´I . . . we . . .´´

Keena felt rotten, seeing how uncomfortable she´d made the Jedi. However, there was also a secret part of her that enjoyed watching her squirm. She didn´t like that part very much, but it was there all the same.

Juhani seemed to struggle for words, before finally taking a deep breath and plowing on.

´´The Council has never really commented on our . . . relationship. With the losses the Order has suffered, and the ongoing war, as well as how she and I have helped each other stay strong in the past, they seem willing to ignore it.´´

´´Huh, well _congratulations_. Broke one of the main rules of the Jedi and got yourself a Sith Lord to snuggle up against for it. No wonder you stand up for her.´´ _Revan betrays the Jedi, betrays the Sith, and gets to enjoy what both frown upon._

Juhani just looked at her helplessly.

´´I suppose now you´re going to say something about how I should put my anger behind me for my own sake?´´ Keena said.

´´Well, shouldn´t you?´´ It was a simple argument, but striking.

Keena was saved from having to answer when the ship´s autopilot took them out of hyperspace. A glance over her shoulder gave Keena a look at the asteroid field surrounding Gildra.

Keena swiveled the chair back to the controls, silently daring the Cathar to try something. ´´Well, looks like we´re here,´´ she said tersely and turned the copilots chair around for Juhani. ´´And since you´re so keen on keeping me out of harm´s way, Jedi, you can help me navigate through those asteroids.´´

Juhani stood still for a few moments before sitting down. Neither woman spoke as they started to carefully navigate through the honeycomb of floating mountains. Even with the shields up a collision would most likely spell certain doom.

As always, several emotions warred for Keena´s attention. She felt terrified at the prospect of meeting Eskon again. Terrified and ashamed. However, there was also an insidious ray of hope stabbing into her consciousness.

_What am I hoping for? Resolution? Punishment? That he´ll let me join him . . . could that be it?_

And Juhani . . . why was she so ready to assist? She had warned Keena against going after Eskon.

_She certainly is relaxed in the presence of one out to settle a score with her Dark Lord snugglebunny._

´´So, do you have a plan?´´ Juhani broke the silence. ´´For what you will do when you come face to face with Darth Eskon?´´

Keena held her breath for a little moment before answering. ´´I´ll know what to do when the time comes. What about you? You must have something in mind.´´

Juhani didn´t look up from the controls. ´´Not as such. I place my faith in the Force to guide me through this.´´

´´That´s it? Come on, there must be something more.´´

Juhani still didn´t look up. ´´ "There is little left to chance where the Force is involved." Didn´t your master teach you that?´´

A venomous idea occurred to Keena. She knew it would be painful, and petty, but a part of her somehow longed to see the Cathar´s confident demeanor shaken.

´´Well, you tell me. You must have talked to him when you contacted the Council.´´ she bit through her teeth.

Juhani looked up, startled, and Keena felt bitter success.

´´I . . . your master . . .´´ Juhani sighed and braced herself. ´´He died. He went . . . um, he went on a mission at the start of the Sith war and never returned.´´

Keena´s face twisted into a pained mockery of a grin.

´´Forgotten the bonds between master and apprentice, have you? I felt it happen, shortly after escaping _The Storm._ And judging by the way you tiptoe around it, I´m guessing Revan had something to do with it.´´

Keena knew the Jedi must have sensed her pain, or at the least seen it in her eyes, but her compassionate look still somehow caused her jaw to clench.

´´As soon as Revan and Malak started their attacks on the Republic, a group of Jedi Masters went to try to reason with them. To try to bring them back i

into the fold. Your master insisted on going with them.´´

´´Ah . . .´´ Keena´s nails dug into her palms. ´´Of course he did. He must have been looking for me . . . must have assumed I had joined Revan in her treachery.´´

´´Well . . . ,´´ Juhani spoke in the careful tone of one about to say something that would most likely not go down well. ´´Since you weren´t turned, why didn´t you warn anyone? Why not tell the Jedi what was coming?´´

Keena´s index finger, with a bloodied nail, shot out to point at the Cathar´s face.

´´Are you blaming _me_, since I did not report the invasion planned by your Dark Lord girlfriend?!´´

´´No, I . . .´´

´´Well, to answer your question Revan must have sped up her plans after I escaped, since by the time I regained my senses the attacks had already started! I was a jumbled mess as I made my escape, not to mention the fact that I was on a small vessel a long way from Republic space, and had to dodge Sith search teams. Hell, they almost caught me once. I had them right behind me, just waiting for me to come out of hyperspace, and I didn´t even know it . . .´´

A light went on in Keena´s head.

´´What happened to Revan?´´

The yellow eyes blinked.

´´You said she was following you as you were following me on Brim. And here you are, with no one to watch your back, going quite confidently to meet with a Sith Lord. And you´re navigating awful slowly. More slowly than neccessary. Like you´re . . . stalling.´´

Juhani seemed to consider her next course of action, then realise she was caught.

´´_The Ebon Hawk_ was docked a little way away from this ship. As I boarded with you she followed us, and has been doing so for the past four days. I have been keeping contact with her through the Force.´´

´´And kept me from sensing it,´´ Keena said with a stiff face. ´´Good job. Looks like we´re due for a little three-way reunion.´´

Keena´s hand found the accelerator and she steered the ship on a quicker course through the thick asteroid field. Some of Gildra´s barren surface was starting to show.

´´Keena, don´t!´´ Juhani put her hand over Keena´s. ´´Whatever Eskon may have been to you, he is now every bit the monster Revan and Malak were!´´

Keena shook the hand off. ´´Stay out of this!´´

Under Keena´s reckless piloting _The Blue Wing _zigzagged past gigantic rocks at high speed, and Gildra´s grey body quickly filled the viewport.

_Now, where is he?_

The ship shook. Both women looked up. A Sith battleship, six times the size of _The Blue Wing_, had come out from behind an asteroid and fired on its flank. Keena started powering up the weapons. There was no chance of making it through the dangerous asteroid field while under fire. Combat was the only option, no matter how uneven.

Another hit came, but from the other flank. Another ship, just as large, had come out of hiding. And as whatever means were being used to diguise the ships from the Force were no longer needed, Keena sensed a third one at the rear.

_A trap! I walked right into a trap! But . . . but I sensed no deception from Pol . . . or was I too angry to notice?_

The ambush was skillfully executed, and as the crossfire hammered them from three directions the shields quickly gave out.

´´Great, we´re naked!´´

´´Go down to the planet!´´ shouted Juhani. ´´It´s our only chance!´´

Keena sent the ship into a dive, hurtling face-first towards Gildra´s rocky surface. As they entered the atmosphere a blast hit one of the thrusters and the ship started spinning uncontrollably.

The ground approached fast, in the form of a twisting spiral.

Keena ran her fingers over the controls in a chaotic dance, drawing on every trick she could think of to raise the ship´s nose. Nothing worked.

´´Use the Force, Keena! We must combine our power!´´

It was a trick Keena hadn´t used since the Mandalorian war, and then only rarely.

_Well, it´s that or end up as a protein-smear on a mountainside._

She put her right hand in Juhani´s left and closed her eyes, trying to keep the fear from distracting her.

Keena´s chaotic Force aura mingled with Juhani´s calm one and their individual power reverberated off of the other ones´.

The ship was caught in an invisible fist, and was slowly steadied into a slower drop.

Keena´s hands found the controls and lifted the ship´s nose up. The ground that dominated the viewport was replaced by a mountainside; one they were headed for at high speed.

Keena let the Force flow through her senses, sharpening everything into a painfully clear picture.

A mine entrance was just visible as a black dot. A dot that grew rapidly.

She dipped the ship´s altitude slightly as the murderous mountainside filled her view.

There was a loud crash and the sound of ripping metal as the top of _The Blue Wing _was sheared off upon entrance.

The cavern was huge, but the impact sent the ship into a spin and against the wall.

The cockpit lights went out as the ship went further in, bouncing back and forth between surfaces.

Something came loose and flew into Keena´s temple.

--------------------

Keena opened her eyes. It hurt. A lot.

She wasn´t sure how far in they had gone after she´d lost consciousness, but as a mixed blessing the wreck had stopped on its underside.

_The Blue Wing _was done for. One look around the cockpit, illuminated by emergency lights and sparks from exposed machinery, told her that without any doubt.

She carefully moved her limbs, as well as concentrating on her own Force aura to check for injuries.

There was nothing broken. A few scrapes and bruises, sure, but the worst injury was a slight cut on her temple.

She´d fought with much worse.

Keena´s intact condition was growing into a great wonder until she realised she was strapped into the chair.

_But I didn´t strap in. There wasn´t time._

She scanned her memory for those few hectic seconds between entering the atmosphere and the crash, and remembered feeling Juhani use the Force just before they entered the mine. She had assumed the Cathar had been trying to steady their course, or shield herself.

Keena glanced to her left. Juhani was securely strapped in as well; except that the chair itself had come loose at some point. The Cathar, along with the runaway chair, was on her side by the entrance into the cockpit. She was unconscious and had a nasty, bleeding cut on her forehead.

Keena methodically unstrapped herself, stood unsteadily for a few moments, and walked over kneel by the Jedi.

She put her hands on the Cathar and examined her through the Force. Red hot pain. Several broken bones. Probably a concussion. She wouldn´t be surprised if internal bleeding was in package as well.

Juhani weakly mumbled something under her breath. It sounded like a name.

A cold chill ran along the surface of Keena´s skin as she felt it: A sick, infected cloud. Cutting through the Force like a filthy, dull razor. Coming closer. It felt horribly much like Revan, back during the nightmare of endless torture back on _The Storm._ This wasn´t Revan, however. Despite the putrid quality to it the aura was still one she recognized.

Almost automatically, Keena stepped over the chair and its occupant and into the hallway. She went into Pol Svikari´s makeshift medical bay and found the belt of kolto shots. She pulled out two and injected them simultaneously into her system. In a few seconds all her aches and pains had vanished.

´´I´m ready,´´ she said to the universe at large in an unsteady voice.

_The greatest lie of my life. I´m NOT ready. Not for this. Not ever._

The sick presence had moved past the mine entrance; so close that Keena could feel it like a sour taste in the back of her mouth.

On legs that felt like jelly she turned towards the nearest hole in the hull and took a step towards it.

Another moan reminded Keena of her stowaway/copilot.

_What did she say? "Master"? "Mother"?_

Something about the pained, childlike quality of the injured Cathar´s voice hooked a line in Keena´s heart and pulled her towards the cockpit.

She knelt by the Jedi, who mumbled something again.

The woman who had tried to talk her out of seeing Eskon. Who had quite possibly saved her life in the crash. Whom Keena felt an odd kind of empathy with.

Keena felt strange. The feeling was so unfamiliar that it took her a moment to recognise what it was.

For the first time in four years she didn´t feel pulled in two directions. There was no conflict. No indecision.

_This is what it feels like . . . I had forgotten about it._

She held up the four remaining kolto shots. The ever-present voice of self-preservation was there, of course, telling her she might need them quite soon. But it had no power.

One by one she took out the shots and injected them into the Cathar. She then carefully undid the buckles and stretched her out in a lying position on the floor.

The bleeding cut slowly closed, and Juhani´s breath eased.

Keena stood up. She still felt strange about the whole thing . . . scared even. And maybe a little silly. But she didn´t feel conflicted. It was . . . refreshing . . . and almost managed to distract her from the approaching dark cloud, and the ever growing dread deep in her stomach.

_Time to face this. Time to face my folly._

She stepped out of the wreck.

A small shuttle was moving into the cave. It stopped about two hundred feet away from the trembling Keena and touched down.

The doors opened; agonizingly slowly, it seemed. To Keena they sounded like hissing portents of doom.

The center of the putrid cloud stepped out.

´´Hello Keena.´´

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Author´s note:** The Dark Lord of cliffhangers strikes again! Muahahahahahahah!!!

Seriously, though, I honestly try to get these chapters done quicker, but something always seems to come up. Maybe enough reviews/death threats will prod me into hurrying up with the next one.

Many thanks to snackfiend101, and my beta, Holli.


	13. Struggle 13

**Author´s note: **Wheee! Lots of yummie reviews!

J: Thanks, but . . . you do realise that I wasn´t _really _asking for review-bribes, right?_  
_

Brynn: Yeah, that´ll do fine. :)

KOTOR freak: I´ll do my best, although I´d rather be slow than sloppy.

Undead American: Thanks.

ACE: Well, no need to wait: Read on.

snackfiend101: Well, thanks again. But as for a hint . . . well, do you _really_ want me to spoil everything?

"Jiaguin" : Nice to finally have you here :). Now how about I get right back to writing as soon as my massively swollen head dimishes, eh?

Anyway: Onwards!

...

_I told Juhani I would know what to do. I told myself._

The black figure slowly walked closer, illuminated by the lights of his shuttle.

_What a lie. What arrogance._

He stopped just outside of the distance Keena figured she could clear in a single Force-powered leap.

_I. Do. Not. Have. A. Clue._

He was dressed in a simple black robe, quite similar to the brown one he had worn four years ago. As he stopped his hands moved up with deliberate slowness and pulled back the hood.

The painful pit in Keena´s stomach turned into a gaping abyss.

Eskon´s once handsome features were almost unrecogniseable. His flesh had turned a dead, grey color, far worse than the deathly pallor Malak had worn during Keena´s final meeting with him, and he looked unfathomably old. Almost as if his flesh was so corrupted and dead that it was starting to flake off. His neat hair and beard remained, although turned to a white color. The slice Malak had taken from the right side of his face had been replaced by some sort of synthetic flesh, the same color as his real skin, imitating strips of exposed muscle.

The worst thing though, the _worst_, was the small pair of sickly yellow eyes that now pierced into Keena´s.

Her lungs pressed against the bottomless pit her stomach had become as she took a deep breath to blurt out a reply.

´´Hello . . . Eskon.´´ She didn´t recognise her own voice.

´´It has been a long time Keena.´´ The voice was the sonic equivalent of a pus-infected wound.

She couldn´t think of a reply, and could only stand there and hug herself as the true scope of her failure came crashing down on her weary shoulders.

´´Great things have happened in the last four years´´ he continued´´great battles been fought, and history has been made. And you, of all people, have been noticeably absent from it all.´´

She had wanted to see him. Now, looking at him, she didn´t know how she felt. All she knew was that it hurt.

´´How cou . . .´´ her voice died away into a pitiful squeak. She tried again. ´´How could you turn, Eskon? _You_? You were always the most loyal of us all.´´

Eskon´s already grotesque features were made even more so when his face twisted into a grin.

´´More loyal than you proved, certainly´´ he said accusingly, and yet with a hint of amusement. ´´Leaving me behind the way you did.´´

Keena felt like she had been punched in a fresh wound. Her old sorrow, her old shame, came flooding back out.

´´I´m . . . I . . . I´m . . .´´

´´Sorry? Did Revan say similar to you on Brim´´

´´I tho . . . thought you were dead . . .´´ she said in a broken voice.

´´And do you remember what our last communications were, Keena? Do you´´

Slowly and painfully, she nodded.

´´And´´

´´I . . .´´ she fidgeted, but there was no escape from the truth. ´´I drew upon the Dark Side . . . when Malak did what he did to you. I was about to murder him . . .´´

´´And if you had you could have saved the galaxy much suffering´´ he laughed at her obvious pain. ´´But I digress.´´

´´You asked me not to.´´

´´Yes, like the good little Jedi I was at the time. I remember clinging to life, hoping to use my last moments to save you from falling.´´

Keena nodded, close to tears. ´´Yes.´´

´´And what was your response, dear Keena´´

She lowered her face into her palm.

´´I said . . . "Why not"

He sniggered. ´´And those were the last thoughts I had with me as the darkness closed in.´´ A bony, grey finger pointed at her. ´´Of _you_, asking why the Light Side was worth clinging to.´´

_I´m so sorry._ She mouthed the words, but no sound came out.

´´I came to on the Star Forge. A pity you never went there while it still existed. It was a marvel, a wonder. Capable of so much more than just producing fleets. Revan and Malak used its Force-powered technology to repair my body.´´ Eskon lifted up his shirt to reveal his chest. The same grey synthetic flesh that replaced the missing parts of his face had been used to repair the hole through his torso. The display also revealed how shriveled his physique had become. Once trim and muscular, Eskon was now a walking skeleton.

´´As a nice side effect, the implants also let the Dark Side flow more freely through me. I was careful not to let them realise my true power. If they, too, would have undergone the same procedures my advantage would have been lost.´´

´´Eskon . . .´´ she said weakly´´. . . you could . . . you . . .´´

´´Could what´´ he sounded thoroughly amused. ´´Well: Could what, Keena? Your reek of doubt.´´

She had no answer, and he chuckled slightly.

Keena looked into his sickly eyes with her tearful ones. ´´Why are you doing all this Eskon? We fought to end a war . . . not to start one. Why´´

Eskon revealed his yellow teeth in another hideous grin. ´´Why´´ He cackled. It was a truly hideous sound. ´´Dear Keena, this whole war is incidental. A means to an end, that´s all.´´

´´And what end is that´´

´´The tomb Keena, that´s what. The tomb of Hojir Karr.´´

Despite everything Keena blinked. _Say what?_

She had heard of it, of course. Supposedly the burial place of one of the very first Dark Jedi; a place of monstrous power for those willing to pay the price for it.

´´Eskon . . . that´s a myth.´´

Again, that hideous cackle, and Keena started to wonder if he was even sane.

´´Yes, I thought so too. Merely an ancient rumor, put together from half-truths, misinterpretations and legends. But it´s _real._ As she searched for the Star Maps Revan also found clues as to its whereabouts.´´

´´What´´

´´Somehow, somewhere, she discovered writings that mentioned the immediate surroundings of the planet of Hojir Karr´s final resting place. Immediate on a galactic scale, of course. Now: Revan was a strategist, first and foremost, and the Star Forge gave a quicker road to her goals. She didn´t quite give up on the tomb, though. Which brings me to the very reason why we´re here.´´

Eskon gave a dramatic pause, looked at her intently, and Keena wondered what was going on behind those yellow eyes.

´´_You,_ Keena. _You_ hold the key to finally unleashing the power of the tomb.´´

´´_Me_? What´s going on, Eskon? What does anyone want with me´´

´´Don´t you remember the last scouting mission Revan sent us on? The one where she gave us different coordinates and sent us away for weeks? That was it, Keena. She intended to calculate the tomb´s location by piecing together the information in our reports, and match it with the clues she had found.´´ He chuckled, in a slightly self-depreciating manner, it seemed to Keena.

´´My sabotage on board the _Storm_ happened to destroy your half of the information. So even though Revan had me, without you my information was useless. Still, with the Star Forge at her disposal it had only been a pet project of hers anyway. Almost immediately after your escape she started the Sith War, and soon became too engrossed in her strategies to bother with it again, and I was the only one she had let in on it.´´

´´So there you have it Keena: My entire war effort has been about finding _you._´´

´´All . . . about . . . me´´ _How many people have died? How many people has he killed to find me? Oh, Force, I try to fade into obscurity and this is what happens because of it?_

´´Yes, Keena. I chased scattered reports of you to the sector around Brim and realised it would be the best place to start looking. I dispatched Kisi and some of my finest Dark Jedi to work undercover to find you, while my fleet kept the Republic distracted. And finally it all paid off, when Pol Svikari contacted me, saying you had come back out of hiding.´´

´´You knew Pol would fail to capture me . . . didn´t you? You knew he would point me in your direction. It was all a trap.´´

Eskon slowly clapped his withered hands. ´´Exactly. And it worked like a dream. Here you are. And now: To business.´´

He held his hands out dramatically. ´´Join me, Keena. Give me the secrets hidden in your brain, and you can take Kisi´s place as my apprentice. You will be second-in-command to the greatest Sith Lord of our era.´´ Eskon held his clenched fist up and his sickly eyes shone with passion, although his voice was cold and dead. ´´Join me and I can show you true power! Power to squash anything in your way; even Revan´´

Keena blinked back the tears. _It´s all gone. All my friends. Everything I cared for; tarnished and destroyed._

´´Join you? Join you in yet another battle for galactic dominion? Forge an everlasting empire? I never desired to rule.´´ _What else do you have?_ came a nasty inner whisper.

Pol smiled. ´´No Keena. No. Ruling is not in my nature either. What is the point of ruling for a tiny moment of history, when all things eventually come to an end, and are forgotten? There is only one way to truly leave a mark, Keena.´´

Eskon´s eyes blazed with something wild, something monstrous. ´´I will bring about the true meaning of destruction´´ he said slowly and with pure, hateful venom. ´´I will carve my name in the face of this unworthy galaxy, leaving behind ruins and ash, and a legacy of terror that will never fade away.´´

Keena thought backwards. Thought about the noble Jedi she had known, and compared him to the creature standing in front of her.

_The thought of becoming . . . this, would have terrified him. More than anything._

´´And you . . .´´ she said in a weak voice´´want me to help you do this´´

Eskon took a deep breath through his nose, as if savoring a pleasant odour.

´´Yes, Keena. I can sense the anger within you. The doubt, fear and despair. I sense the strain this brings about. It is . . . delicious, in its own way. But . . .´´ he waved a hand over his horrible face´´. . . in choosing the Dark Side, in giving yourself over to it completely, there is no doubt. There are no questions about your path. No indecision. Only a crystal-clear purpose.´´

Eskon laughed at the reaction Keena was unable to hide. ´´And that is what you have desired for so long isn´t it´´

She felt like she was standing in a void, with nothing to keep her from falling.

_Could he be right? Could it be better to drown myself in the darkness, than to keep on going like this? All this horrible doubt . . ._

´´Join me, Keena.´´ he said seductively´´Join me.´´

_No shame . . ._

She looked up at the creature that had once been Eskon.

_But I wouldn´t be me . . ._

´´Eskon . . . I . . . I don´t know what to do . . .´´

Eskon´s face went blank, and his eyes stared into nothing. It took Keena a moment to realise he had sensed something through the Force.

After a few moments Keena sensed it as well. The oh, so familar aura of battle, above the planet. And yet the feel of it was different. Like something was manipulating the flow of the Force on a massive scale.

´´Sorry Keena, but our time has been cut short. It looks like I´ll have to make the decision for you.´´

A sharp spike of fear lanced through Keena has his hands went under his cloak and came out with two lightsabers.

The crimson beams hissed to life, and Keena´s numb hands automatically raised and activated her own weapons.

She felt a massive surge of Force power before streams of lightning erupted from Eskon´s fingertips on both hands.

Keena raised the lightsaber beams in defense, catching most of the attack, but some of it made it through. Even with the Force shield she hurriedly raised the sheer power of the lightning jarred her.

And then he was on her. He shot at her like a blur of black, grey and glowing red, swinging at her like a whirlwind.

Keena frantically drew speed from the Force and wove the mismatched blades into a defensive wall against the savage assault.

It didn´t take her long to realise that despite his withered frame Eskon possessed terrible strength. Each hit jarred her arms, and she was slowly driven backwards.

Keena tried to think back to their sparring sessions; tried to remember some flaw in his technique or predict his movements. All it gave her was memories of happier times as he swung his lethal weapons at her.

It made the whole thing even more tragic.

Finally, Eskon sent both lightsabers in a low swing. Keena parried and let the force of his attack propel her into a blackflip, creating distance.

A massive wave of Force hit her before her balance had recovered. Keena´s back met the rough-hewn mine wall, the air left her lungs, and the lightsabers fell from her grasp.

Eskon came straight at her, sending out Force lightning as his vanguard.

Keena knew from experience that she wouldn´t be able to shield herself from Eskon´s terrible power. She lept vertically, barely avoiding the assault, and let the Force hold her suspended for a heartbeat before she kicked the wall and sent herself into a somersault away from it.

A piece of debris from the crash, moved by Eskon´s will, hit her in the air. The graceful landing Keena had intended was turned into a painful slam on her side.

From the ground, she desperately threw her hands out and sent rubble and boulders flying at him. He casually raised his hand and the improvised missiles bounced away from him harmlessly.

_He´s so powerful. So horribly powerful._

Eskon charged at her again and Keena held out her hands for the lightsaber hilts, desperate to get them before he closed the gap.

The two cylinders sailed through the air and she could almost feel them in her palms . . . and then they stopped; halted by Eskon´s power.

And then he was on her.

A red lightsaber slashed across her stomach. Keena´s world became a place of searing agony, smelling of her own burnt flesh.

_He got me!_

As she bowled over her cheekbone met Eskon´s knee, and she was thrown backwards.

The back of Keena´s head smashed against the rocky ground, and once again her vision dimmed.

_Is this how it ends . . . ?_

The excruciating pain of Eskon´s knee digging into the wound as he knelt down on her brought her back.

´´You should have taken my offer Keena´´ came his voice through the haze of pain´´but I get what I want anyway.´´

´´Eskon . . .´´

His hands went to her temples, and for a moment nothing happened.

Then a red hot spike made out of pain stabbed into her skull. She couldn´t even scream. And as her senses parted for the agony Keena felt her memories being forced to the surface, and felt Eskon´s diseased fingers run through them with all the care of a butcher cutting a piece of meat.

Unwillingly she saw in her own mind the journey Revan had sent her on, the star coordinates she had found. And as she did, so did Eskon.

And then it was over.

Keena was dimly aware of the knee being lifted up from the lightsaber wound; although that pain had become secondary to the one in her head.

´´I have it, Keena.´´ came Eskon´s quietly intense voice through the haze. ´´I know where to find the tomb. Soon the galaxy will feel the true fury of the Dark Side. Planets will cringe in terror at the mention of my name, and an era of fear and carnage will be ushered in.´´ He lifted Keena´s head up by the hair to look her in the eyes. ´´There is, however, the matter of what to do with you . . .´´

´´Darth Eskon´´

Keena managed to focus her gaze past Eskon, towards the mine entrance. Either her ship hadn´t fit through the entrance or she hadn´t been willing to risk navigating through.

Revan, wearing a strange, ochre-colored robe, had entered the mine. There was rigid intensity in her eyes that Keena didn´t know what to make of

´´Ah, I might have known´´ said Eskon.

´´Carth´s fleet is here, Eskon. And so is Bastila. You can sense it. Your surviving ships will be subdued soon enough. Give up and you can live to fight another day.´´

Eskon just laughed that grating, ugly laughter of his. ´´No, Revan. I only sent an expendable part of my forces to Brim, and those three battleships in orbit were just a precaution. And my full force will soon seem insignificant anyway, when I´ve destroyed the other Dark "Lords" and bring the full power of the Sith to bear against the galaxy.´´

Revan activated her turquoise lightsaber and fixed him with a steely look, but it wasn´t the one Keena had gotten to know during the war. This one looked only skin-deep.

´´But right now, Eskon, you are right here. And there are reinforcements on their way even now.´´

´´Oh, Revan´´ a hint of mocking theatrics sneaking into Eskon´s cold voice´´would you strike down yet another old friend´´

The barb clearly stung, but Revan stood her ground. ´´Yes.´´

If it hadn´t been for the slight hesitation, Keena might have been more impressed.

´´Ah? But you are right of course; I am right here.´´ A grey finger moved to point at the _Blue Wing´s _wreck. ´´And your furry little lover is right in there, although I´m sure you´ve already sensed that.´´

The only hint was a momentary build-up of vile energy, before the roof above the wreck shattered into dozens of huge boulders.

´´No´´

Revan´s hand shot out and the rocks hung in mid air, hovering just above the wreck.

Eskon chuckled, sent his hands out in a wide wave, and the entire mine roof came loose.

Keena had time to reflect on the possibility of dying along with Revan at Eskon´s hands, before the falling rocks ground to a slow halt.

Revan was straining for the discipline necessary to maintain the telekinetic feat, as Eskon made for his shuttle.

´´I look forward to our next meeting, Revan´´ he shouted as he lept into the cockpit. ´´Rest assured it will be a day to remember´´

The shuttle blasted out of the mine, throwing gravel over Keena as she lay on the ground, clutching her stomach.

The sick, vile presence that was Eskon slowly faded away, leaving behind only a foul aftertaste in the Force.

Keena´s eyes met Revan´s.

´´You sure have a way with people.´´

-

Revan closed her eyes, and eventually managed to find enough calm to hold up the rocks without straining. She lowered her arms and sat down in a cross-legged position.

Keena was still curled up in a fetal position, about fifty feet away from the former Sith Lord. The pain that lanced through her with every minor movement quelled any ideas of getting up. She briefly wondered if Eskon had somehow modified his lightsabers to inflict extra pain.

´´Keena´´ Revan´s voice was filled with the ring of barely subdued emotion. Fear´´Keena, are you hurt bad´´

´´Stu . . . stuff your concern´´ she managed to croak out in reply.

Revan lowered her eyes to the ground.

´´Where´s . . . the cavalry you promised . . . anyway´´

´´I´m getting feedback from the battle through my bond with Bastila. It is still raging on. There won´t be any help right away. I was lying.´´

´´Yeah . . . you´re good at that.´´

´´Keena . . . please . . .´´

_How the hell does she summon the nerve to sound hurt?_

´´_What_, oh Dark Lord? More apologies´´

There was a silent pause as Revan took a deep breath. Keena painfully raised her throbbing head to look at her. The look in her "friends´" eyes was painfully familiar. It had been the look in every mirror for four years: Pained, and lost.

´´What happened to you, Keena´´ Revan asked in a carefully balanced voice´´Where were you all these years´´

´´Oh, want to . . . know my story . . . do you´´ Keena gritted her teeth at the pain of talking, but the old familiar anger gave her the drive to push on.

´´Okay: After I recovered, physically, I just drifted at first. As far away from the new war as I could. Didn´t know . . . what to do with myself. You saw to that . . . started the job but didn´t finish it. Anyway: I needed credits for food, and just sort of fell into smuggling. It provided . . . plenty of lonesome hours. Plenty of time with just hyperspace for company. Time passed . . . and I started to figure that even if I couldn´t get over . . . what had happened . . . maybe I could at least learn to live with it.´´

A coughing fit hit her then, with each cough sending spears of agony out from her injured stomach. Eventually the worst of it faded away.

´´But then . . . heh . . . one year ago I was sitting in a cheap restaurant, picking at my plate, when the news hit the holoscreen. A live feed from the . . .´´ she forced the foul-tasting words out´´ . . . awards ceremony. After all this . . . after everything you´ve done . . . you were given the Cross of Glory. And of course the stupid monkeys around me started cheering. I couldn´t take it! The injustice . . . the cold, stinging irony! I couldn´t face this stupid galaxy anymore´´

Her rising voice gave birth to another coughing fit hit, just as nasty as the last one.

´´So I . . . I went to J-3109. The greatest nothing-planet . . . I could think of. And once I´d set down, I activated the self-destruct on my ship. I didn´t even want the possibility of returning.´´

The half-truth of it stung her tongue.

_Liar. Spineless liar._

´´But what do you know . . . seems the Force wasn´t done playing with me. By some wild, one-in-a-fifillion happenstance . . . your buddies crash into my backyard. One thing leads to another . . . _and here we are_. And Eskon of all people, because I . . . because of what you did to him, is on his way to bring living hell to the galaxy. Good job _Revan_, no matter what you call yourself, good job. You always manage to have an impact.´´

Revan lowered her eyes and a shudder ran through the sitting Sith/Jedi, and Keena wondered if she´d actually been stifling a sob.

´´Keena: How did things get like this´´ Revan said in a hoarse voice´´How did I turn so rotten´´

´´Oh, here it comes´´ Keena growled bitterly and painfully´´First start me talking about something simple . . . then get to what you really want. I know your tricks.´´

The former Sith looked up with moist eyes. ´´Please, Keena. You´re the last one of my old friends, who isn´t dead, or lost. I killed Malak . . . Eskon is what he is . . . Bandon is dead: Malak sent him after us . . . I still wonder what would have happened if he´d blurted out my old name.´´

Keena took a moment to ponder whether Bandon´s death meant something to her. A quick inner search found nothing. Nothing at all. That simple fact in itself brought forth a certain sadness for Bandon.

_He deserved better than to die unmourned._

´´I don´t know if it was something that happened in the war, if I was already corrupted when I sought out the Star Maps, or if it was just them that did it . . . or what. I don´t know if I sought them out before or after deciding to take over the Republic, it all mixes together in my head. Ever since the Leviathan I´ve been leading this . . . this half-existence. It never leaves my mind. I never get any peace. I _have _to know Keena´´ she said pleadingly. ´´I have to know what happened to me.´´

Keena quietly seethed on the ground for a few moments.

´´I don´t know much about . . . these "Star Maps", or the Star Forge, or what power those things had.´´ She waited for the latest coughing fit to pass. ´´But if you really want to know . . . I think it´s very simple.´´ She again raised her head to look her "friend" in the eyes, and injected all the venom she could muster into her voice. ´´I think over time you just grew to love the power.´´

A silence fell, and Revan closed her eyes and her head hung.

Keena could taste her misery.

´´Got what you . . . wanted, did you´´

It was becoming harder to focus, and the rocky ground under her cheek felt farther and farther away.

Keena managed an inward look through the Force. Her own aura was weakened. Fading. And the pain was getting steadily less intense.

_Is this how it ends? Are these my final moments? With bloody Revan for company?_

Eventually she was vaguely aware of a ship landing just outside the mine.

And then the world faded away into nothing.


	14. Struggle 14

**Author´s note: **Christ, a whole month without an update! So sorry. A mild writing hiccup and KOTOR 2 conspired against me and Keena.

Sorry about the short length. I´m hoping the Big Bad Finish will make up for it. I have it pretty much ready in my head and will start working on it later today.

ether-fanfic: Thanks for the compliments. As for the question marks and several other typos . . . I have no idea how they happened. The chapter I downloaded was pretty much typo-free.

ACE: Can´t really think of anything to say except: Thank you so much. We´re almost at the end now.

* * *

The universe was a place without form, time, or meaning. There were no stimuli of any kind.

No sight, no sound, no sensation. No worries.

It was very relaxing.

But somehow . . . deep down . . . it didn´t feel right.

_Something´s wrong . . ._

The comforting waves of nothingness closed in, threatening to pull her back down.

She half-heartedly resisted, trying to hold onto her awareness, but it was like swimming against a heavy current.

Suddenly a voice intruded. A voice filled with cold malice; twisted with hatred and anger.

_Revan, Keena . . . think about Revan._

She shrank away from the sick voice, almost retreating into the safe nothing.

Then her memory kicked in.

_Revan!_

Keena grabbed the anger, fanning it with all her might. It gave her focus.

Her consciousness rose through the sludge, and her dormant senses came partially to life.

Her sense of touch registered a soft surface beneath her.

Her nose brought the images of a well-stocked medical bay.

No matter how hard Keena pushed, she couldn´t reach the parts of her brain that allowed movement; Not even a twitch. So her vision remained off-line.

However, a vague buzzing sound eventually turned into the more familiar sounds of starship hum and conversation.

_´´ . . . uncomfortable with this.´´_

The voice was hazy, like it was being filtered through several layers of cloth.

_´´I know Juhani, but we´ve got no choice. We can´t afford to deal with this right now.´´_

_´´And when this is over?´´_

_´´Then . . . then we´ll see what happens. Maybe something can be done for her yet.´´_

A silence descended, and another wave of emptiness threatened to engulf.

Revan´s returning voice kept Keena aware.

_´´Just stay here. I´ll need to contact Bastila and Carth.´´_

Revan´s footsteps moved away into the distance.

The only nearby sounds were those of medical equipment and breathing, presumably Juhani´s.

_What´s wrong with me?_

Keena put all her wobbly concentration into her sense of touch, trying to find something wrong with her body, that might explain her condition.

Her stomach felt numb, like it had been anaesthetized, and had apparently been bandaged. Her system felt free of any debilitating drugs or medication. There was however the matter of the metal object she felt encircling her neck.

_Pol´s neural disruptor . . . even when not around he finds ways to be a pest._

Revan returned.

_´´Eskon got away! Carth´s fleet is on his trail, but without knowing where he´s headed all they can do is follow him all the way to the tomb.´´_

_´´How are the repairs coming along?´´_

_´´HK and T3 are almost done, but we´re going to be late. I just hope Bastila´s Battle Meditation will do the trick yet again.´´_

_´´I´m sure it will.´´ There was another silence. ´´How are you anyway?´´_

_´´I´m . . . shaken . . .´´_

Keena´s concentration wavered, and the waves of nothingness rose once more. This time there was no escape.

Time was a vague swirl. Occasionally Keena´s liquid consciousness found a foothold in the waking world . . . but with nothing to focus on there was no understanding of the passage of time.

Immobile. Unable to focus. During some of the clearer moments, she couldn´t help but feel the similarities with her captivity on board the _Storm._

_Right where I promised myself never to return: Helpless._

The memories and feelings her state brought on almost made the inevitable sinking down into the nothing welcome.

Nothing seemed to change. All she was clearly aware of was travel, how long and how far she had no idea, and occasional conversations between the two Jedi.

Strangely enough, it was during one of the empty moments that she first felt it. It breached the nothingness as subtly as a cold breeze blowing through a poorly insulated house: A feeling of dread. An unidentifiable, cold fear that slowly seemed to sink its teeth into her soul.

She was torn between trying to sink into safe nothingness, or trying to stay alert to confront whatever threat was approaching.

In the end it made no difference. The semi-conscious moments were too blurry to analyze or banish the fear, and the fear invaded the empty times inescapably.

Slowly, achingly slowly, the feeling grew.

_There is something out there. Something is approaching._

Time passed . . .

Something changed. After an unmeasurable time of mental and physical paralysis, something finally changed.

Keena strained hard against the blanket over her senses, and realised what it was.

The ship had come out of hyperspace. The air was heavy with an all too familar aura: That of large-scale battle and death. And overpowering the familar horror was an even greater one: A terrible, cold sickness in the Force. An aura of evil like nothing Keena had ever experienced. Suddenly she felt very small.

_Is this the tomb? Eskon wasn´t kidding around . . ._

_´´ . . . have to stop him somehow, Tana! Yuthura says Bastila can´t focus through . . .´´. _Carth Onasi´s voice broke through the fog. _´´ . . . and his fleet is too strong!´´_

_´´Give me some cover, Carth! I´ll try to get through the Sith formations and land!´´_

Keena was aware of tubolasers barely missing the ship, of dodging fighters, and finally entering an atmosphere.

The ship landed, and just then another flood of oblivion closed in.

Keena resisted. Fought the flow with everything she had. It was useless. As always her senses slowly suffocated and she was left with nothing but the darkness and the fear . . .

_Keena._

The sick voice broke through the fog. Keena shrank away from it. Even the fearful darkness was better than the twisted evil of the voice.

_Keena . . . it´s time. Time to do your part. And don´t worry; it´s easy. All you have to do is think . . . about Revan._

Revan . . .

_Think about how she hurt you . . . think about the betrayal. Think about the pain . . . the years spent in misery. Use the anger! Let it give you clarity! Let it give you strength! Embrace your anger . . . and come to me!_

The collar came off, forced open by Keena´s will.

The world came flooding back to her senses. And with her full awareness, and anger, the overwhelming power of the nearby tomb was felt even more fully.

She was lying on a bunk on board what she assumed was the Ebon Hawk, her stomach bandaged with kolto bands. Apparently she had been moved from the medical bay, and into the sleeping quarters.

Almost on their own, Keena´s feet found the floor and she rose. Her anger and pain boiled, reverberating off the darkness of the planet.

_Time to end this!_

She stalked out of the dormitory and into the main hold. There, on a shelf, her eyes found her lightsabers and backpack.

_Weren´t expecting me to break free, were you Revan? Granted, I had a little help . . . like last time._

Keena snatched up the lightsabers. One went to its place on her belt. The Sith one into her pocket.

The backpack was next. It had accompanied her for years now and almost felt like an old friend, nesting on her back.

´´Keena?´´

The former padawan stuck her head through the medical bay doors. Juhani was lying on the cot there, still clearly recovering from the crash.

The Cathar looked startled at Keena´s sudden revival, but with her legs still unmended it didn´t seem to Keena that she was in a state to do much about it. Not if Revan had left her behind.

´´Yeah, what!´´ she snapped. She felt like she was being pulled out of the ship. Like her fate was right outside and wouldn´t wait for her convenience.

´´Revan has gone off to stop Eskon.´´ Juhani said weakly. ´´If he . . . harnesses the tomb, his power alone can end the battle overhead. And the Republic will be next. What . . . what is _your _part in this going to be?´´

´´My part?´´ Keena snorted. ´´My part will be what the universe has laid out before me. Nothing else. It´s high time I finished this wretched journey . . . one way or another! Now if you don´t mind, I have a date with an ugly destiny.´´

With that she turned on her heel and stalked towards the loading ramp.

´´Keena!´´ The Jedi called after her. ´´You anger will doom the Republic . . . and yourself!´´

´´I know!´´

Keena´s feet met the surface of the nameless planet, at the same moment as her power forcibly shut the ramp, jamming it in place. They had come down in a rocky, mountainous area. There was nothing in sight except blackened rock, and a brown sky. The nauseating feelings creeping through her body as the planets twisted aura caressed her only slowed her down for a moment.

The rage kept building as she trudged through the rocky landscape. Anger at Revan. Anger at Malak. Anger at the Jedi. Anger at the Sith. Anger at Eskon. Anger at the universe. Anger . . .

The last four years came boiling to the surface; all their collected misery, and the ever present tension deep inside her felt like it was reaching a final point.

Keena didn´t need to see Eskon´s shuttle, or the destroyed battle droids surrounding it, to know where to head. The darkness called out to her quite clearly.

She found herself by the cave entrance Eskon had landed by. Revan had sliced her way through the droids he had left as guards, although her rust-red battle droid seemed to have taken several blaster shots in the battle. It lay smoking, surrounded by shredded metal.

Keena stepped over it and stood by the cave entrance. It was just about wide enough for three people to walk in simultaneously, and about two feet taller than Keena.

_The tomb of Hojir Karr . . . what Revan secretely wanted us to find, those four years ago._

A howling, bone-chilling gust came out of the pitch-blackness. Or at least something moved her clothing and hair, and sent an icicle down her spine.

Something about the situation reminded Keena of her conversation with Revan on board the _Storm _after returning from her mission. When Revan had come so close to turning her with mere words. When she had stood on a brink over the abyss.

´´But I made the _right_ choice, didn´t I?´´ she growled bitterly to the universe. ´´I made a choice that day . . . and in the end it was for nothing.´´

Her hand found the Sith lightsaber, squeesed it painfully hard, and activated it.

´´Now I either die . . . ´´, she spat, ´´. . . or kill Revan, and drown in the darkness once and for all.´´

Keena forced down the knot in her stomach and trudged into the cave, the crimson beam lighting her way.


	15. Struggle 15

**Author´s note:** Once again, I´d like to thank my reviewers for their kind words. Sorry this didn´t get posted sooner.

Anyway, here it is: The Big Bad Confrontation. Hope you like it. Read on . . .

* * *

The crude stairs cut into the rock led ever downwards, deeper into the darkness. With each step the palpable evil grew thicker, more oppressive. 

And with each step, as her boiling anger slowly climbed for the peak, it felt less repulsive . . . and more seductive.

The stairs were cut into dark, uneven rock that made the tunnel look more like a cave than a carved structure. Either whoever had made the tomb had found an already existing cave and dug it out at its bottom, or consciously carved the stairwell into looking like a sinister cave. Because surely the idea that the _rock_ itself had been corrupted was ridiculous.

Wasn´t it?

Occasionally Keena thought she´d heard vague whispers coming from the shadows as she kept on goin. The goosebumps covering her body grew. She felt cold. So very, very cold.

Finally the stairs ended and Keena found herself in the beginning of a huge hall. The crimson light didn´t reach far, leaving most of the area to the imagination, but she could sense the wide open space.

The crimson saber left her hand and flew out into a wide arc, briefly giving a clearer picture of the area. The roof, it seemed, was kept up by rock pillars, intricately decorated with strange carvings. Each one rose up into the darkness, with no end in sight. Various sculptures, tributes, and what seemed like frames to long-vanished tapestries littered the area.

Keena´s seething mind briefly reflected on why Dark Jedi had bothered with such decorations for their dead leader.

_Maybe his disciples feared to displease him . . . even in his death._

The examination had only served to fulfill an impulse. She could sense very well where her fate awaited.

Keena let out a frosty breath in the deathly cold, lifeless air of the tomb.

_Time for a reckoning. For everything that went wrong. For the broken dreams and deaths._ _For the misery._

Her thumb found the lightsaber´s off switch and plunged her into blackness.

Her feet only quavered slightly as she walked on in a straight line towards her objective.

She sensed the forechamber briefly give way for a hallway, before she entered the antechamber. It felt smaller than the previous one, but with the dark power of the place throbbing ever more painfully in her head it was hard to really tell.

An incendiary grenade had apparently gone off, or maybe several, in the battle that had clearly raged moments ago. Small fires strewn around the area gave a slight illumination.

This room was composed of a huge platform, rising up from an abyssal chasm, with only a six-foot wide bridge connecting the platform to the hallway.

Keena could sense what was waiting for her up ahead . . . that the situation was waiting for her, and could wait for a little longer.

She knelt down, and reached into her backpack. When she was finished she grimly trudged up the steps connecting the bridge to the platform, and surveyed the scene.

More pillars, illuminated by the plasma fires, and some marked by lightsaber slashes, rose into the air. Statues depicting figures and creatures Keena couldn´t name stood between each two, serving as an honor guard to anyone walking through.

Keena did, feeling the stone eyes on her as she walked by.

Every step brought the three glowing lights closer. Every step brought the conclusion of the bitter mockery her life had become closer.

_This is it . . ._ she thought, _. . . this is finally it. A bitter end to a bitter journey._

The former Padawan´s insides were being squeesed and wound, with an icicle piercing her heart and her legs going numb. It felt like all the years since she joined the war were building up to a terminal momentum, reaching a wretched climax.

Finally she stopped, and through the chaotic lightning storm that her mind had become, somehow remembered to draw her original lightsaber as well.

The three of them were standing in a triangle, with forty feet between each.

Revan and Eskon stood, the two red lightsabers and the single turquoise held at the ready, and had obviously gone a few rounds. Eskon´s black robe, and Revan´s cream colored one were both marked with minor lightsaber hits, although Revan´s seemed noticeably more damaged.

And beyond the two people Keena had considered her dearest friends stood the huge metal gate leading to the festering heart of this tainted place: The tomb of Hojir Karr.

Revan´s aura stood as a beacon in the sick atmosphere, while Eskon seemed to become one with it.

Eskon unleashed that hideous grin of his at her approach, while Revan´s eyes snapped open with a rigidly intense emotion that Keena couldn´t name. They had clearly both decided to wait for her, before resuming the battle.

_Ah . . . of course they did. Of course it would land on me to decide the outcome of such an event. Of course my fall would be made complete._

Revan was the first to strike.

´´Keena! He´s drawing on the power of this place to disrupt Bastila´s Battle Meditation! The battle will be lost!´´

´´Yes Keena,´´ said Eskon, ´´the _power_! Feel it! It is right here for the taking for those with the strength and drive.´´

´´Don´t listen Keena! All the Dark Side does is destroy! Even its own followers!´´

´´The Dark Side exacts a toll, that is all.´´ He looked at her with some unidentifiable emotion in his yellow eyes. ´´Join me.´´ he said sweetly. ´´This is what I spared you life for: Take your revenge on Revan, claim the power of the Dark Side, and stand by my side as we carve our names into the face of this unworthy galaxy!´´ He spat the last words.

Keena´s thoughts turned to the woman who was to blame for the pain and doubt.

Revan looked at her, her face a desperate plea. ´´Think of the innocent lives. Think of the pointless destruction and death. You are a Jedi!´´

´´No, Keena. The Jedi sat on their hands as war marched on their doorsteps. The weak Republic couldn´t stem the Mandalorian tide. _We_ went and fought the good fight. The Republic is rightfully ours.´´

´´You didn´t kill Mission,´´ Revan said, her soft voice desperately imploring. ´´You saved Juhani. You still care for innocent life. You can still return. Don´t throw that away on petty ambition. No matter what I´ve done to you, don´t let the galaxy suffer for it. _Please!_ Not you too!´´

The knot in Keena´s bowels tightened with every word that was spoken. The everlasting tug-of-war was waged like never before. Anger. Peace. Light. Dark. Good. Evil.

Each of her hands went to her hair and grabbed a fistful, pulling on it painfully.

_I´m going to rupture. They are going to tear me in half._

´´Don´t you want to be free of this torment Keena?´´ Eskon´s voice was sugar-sweet. Seductive. ´´Free of the doubts and pointless guilt? I have run my fingers through your memory; I know what you struggle with.´´ For a moment he flashed a ghost of the smile that had first caught her eye back on Coruscant. ´´Grasp the Dark Side fully, Keena, and you will be _free._´´

_Free . . ._

´´You will be a slave,´´ said Revan. ´´The truth is in your heart, for you to see. If you´ll only look.´´

Keena looked up and let out a feral scream; The dam finally bursting from the flood of pent-up frustration.

´´_Screw both of you!_ You . . . !´´ she screamed and stabbed an index finger at Revan, ´´ . . . are a two-timing, two-faced traitor! And _you_ "Eskon" are not the man I knew! At best you´re his pathetic shadow! I´m not helping either one of you!´´

Revan´s face fell, while Eskon´s changed to mild disappointment.

The Sith Lord sighed. ´´Very well, Keena. Have it your way. You realise, of course, that I will not brook competition. And if you´re not with me . . . you´re against me.´´

He waved both hands at the ground between himself and Revan. In a massive release of vile energy the part of the platform she was standing on was smashed. The telekinetic wave that followed sent both Revan and the smashed rock over into the chasm.

Keena watched her disappear into the black abyss, and for a moment a glimmer of some emotion shone through the haze of rage and pain that had set over her mind. Then activated her lightsabers and turned towards the Dark Lord Eskon.

He let out a sick, lifeless chuckle. ´´One last sparring match, then?´´

He charged, lightsabers coming down in an overhead chop.

This time, however, Keena didn´t meet him with fear, but with anger.

Her sabers crossed in an X, catching the two blades. For a moment he pushed her arms back . . . but the fury and the pain opened her up to the Force like never before. And this place had so much of it . . .

She shoved him backwards with a savage grunt. He only looked surprised for a moment before re-assuming his assault, weaving his lightsabers into a dissying pattern.

_He fell too . . . he turned his back on everything we stood for . . . he´s a sad mockery of a Jedi . . . just like . . ._

She drowned her thoughts in a ferocious scream and wild, aggressive swings, as she met the Sith Lord with everything the last four years had ditched out to her.

The tainted Force all around flowed into her, lending her its putrid strength. She hacked viciously, not bothering with defense, the way of the Jedi, when mindless, screaming fury worked better.

Eskon held his ground.

Finally he calculated her next move and sidestepped, ducking a wide swing. Keena overbalanced, and just barely dodged a double chop at her back. She growled deep in her throat as an X was burned into the middle of her back.

Eskon pressed the attack, sending out furious stroke after furious stroke to keep her off balance.

She let herself be driven backwards, until her back was against a pillar. She pushed her foot against it to steady herself, and resumed her attacks.

Their four sabers locked together, just barely above the hilts, and each strained to overcome the other´s Force-enhanced strength.

Their faces were bathed in a crimson light, all but drowing out the bright blue one, and Keena spared a moment to look into Eskon´s horrible face.

All she saw there was a horrible mirror of herself. It drove her to push the lightsabers up and away with a growl.

Eskon´s grin faded a bit. As their arms were pushed out of the way he brought his forehead down in an intended headbutt.

Keena had been expecting it. She moved to the side without breaking the saber lock, just enough to avoid the attack, and sent her foot into the Sith Lord´s groin.

He grunted with pain and doubled over, and Keena made for a slash at his exposed neck.

Her back met the pillar, hard, and all the air was pressed out of her lungs as she realised she´d been neglecting her defense against Force powers.

Eskon backed away as she got to her feet, his walk only slightly awkward, and sent both his lightsabers spinning at her.

Keena jumped over the crimson missiles and charged the opponent who had so foolishly disarmed himself.

The sizeable rock he´d cut out of the pillar hit her in the back, propelling her onwards. Eskon´s fist speared into her stomach, stopping the flight.

She collapsed on the ground.

Keena only needed a moment to recover, but Eskon needed even less to send a huge Force wave at her, sending her rolling four dozen feet.

The blue lightsaber fell from her grasp and rolled off into the darkness, leaving her with only one as Eskon charged at her like a blaster bolt.

Fear mingled with the rage to make her fast enough to stay alive against the twin attacks.

With a grin of intended victory Eskon drove her backwards, towards the stairs.

She let him.

Finally her heel met the first step of the stairs . . . just as Eskon was able to bat aside her lightsaber with one hand, and make an upwards slash at her head with the other one.

She launched herself backwards, only receiving a slight nick on her right cheek, and glided down the stairs.

Keena landed awkwardly on the bridge, losing her balance.

Eskon shouted in victory as he jumped down, landing right in front of his defenseless opponent.

And he stepped on the mine Keena had picked up on J-3109.

The blast sent him flying into the air . . . and over the edge of the bridge. Eskon Mariar disappeared into the darkness.

Keena stared at the small, smoking crater. A single ruined lightsaber hilt landed in it. It seemed lika punctuation mark at the end of the whole thing.

She stood up on shaking legs and looked into the darkness; feeling the grief blacken her mind on top of the rage.

_He´s gone . . . it´s all gone . . . there is nothing left that I love . . . nothing that wasn´t destroyed because of . . ._

Her eyes snapped up to the platform.

Revan was standing at the top of the stairs, her expression, what Keena could see of it in the flickering firelight, one of pain and sadness.

´´Keena . . .´´ she started in a weak voice.

´´Revan?´´

_Nothing left . . . nothing for me to do . . . except finish this!_

Her face settling in a grim scowl, Keena turned towards the stairs, and struck a fighting pose with the Sith lightsaber.

Revan´s eyes snapped open, and she shook her head vehemently. ´´Keena, no!´´

Keena activated the crimson beam. ´´Yes.´´

She bolted up the stairs, charging at Revan with a powerful swing.

Revan hurriedly activated her turquoise beam and met Keena´s attack with a defensive stance.

´´No one here to bail you out this time, Revan!´´ Keena shouted as she brutally hammered away. ´´No Jedi! No Sith!´´

Revan dodged clear of a sideways swing and created some distance between the two, holding her saber at the ready.

´´Just you and me!´´ Keena spat.

´´Don´t do this Keena!´´ Revan pleaded. ´´Don´t go the same way I did!´´

´´Too late, Revan! It´s way past time for a reckoning!´´

She charged, saber meeting saber again and again. Revan let herself be driven backwards, parrying each hit, never striking back, even when Keena offered false opportunities to. Keena knew Revan was trying to wear her out, but knew it would be for nothing. She felt like she would never tire again; not in this place. Not with the Force flowing through her like never before.

For a moment she almost felt she heard a laughter, somewhere in the darkness.

_She doesn´t want to strike back: Fine._

She brought the crimson beam down in an overhead chop, and when Revan predictably parried Keena pushed into it, letting the beams hiss against each other. Then she suddenly broke the saber lock. Revan´s unwillingness to push her saber forward caused her to lose balance. It was only for a moment, but it was all Keena needed to bring her foot up and kick the saber hilt out of her hands.

Before she could bring her blade down on her undefended opponent, Revan grabbed both of her wrists and held her.

For a few moments they stood there, matching their sheer physical strength against each other, as the deadly beam hummed between them.

´´Keena . . .´´ Revan grunted through the effort of holding back the blade, ´´. . . remember your teachings. The darkness of this place is magnifying your pain and anger. You must resist!´´

´´No, Revan.´´ Keena bit through her teeth.´´This has been coming for a long time.´´

In a lightning quick motion, Revan suddenly janked Keena´s arms upwards, allowing her to kick out at her knee. Keena lost her balance, and Revan tripped her to the ground, managing to twist her wrists enough for her lose the lightsaber.

Revan moved throw herself on top of her prone opponent, but Keena kicked her in the stomach, sending her stumbling backwards.

She sprang up. The lightsaber had rolled off into the darkness.

_No matter. I don´t need one._

With an animalistic cry Keena tackled Revan to the ground.

She heard the smack of the back of Revan´s head meeting the stone floor, raised her fist and felt the savage joy of it impacting on her old tormentor´s face. Again. And again. And . . .

Her fist punched the stone floor. Revan had somehow twisted herself halfway out from under Keena, and hooked a leg around her torso.

Before Keena knew it Revan had worked her way on top of her back, and was pulling on one of her arms, going for an armlock.

Every drop of emotion Keena felt was brought forth, echoed off the power of this place, and sent into her arm.

She tossed Revan off like a rag.

They sprang to their feet simultaneously. Keena´s blow was blocked, her kick dodged. Her headbutt connected.

Revan staggered backwards, and Keena charged. Revan was ready, though, and turned her charge into a roll on the ground.

As Keena got to her feet Revan´s eyes found something. The lightsaber hilt flew into her grasp.

Out of the corner of her eye Keena spotted the Sith lightsaber she had dropped. She held her hand out and called out for it. It sailed into her grasp and activated.

_Time to finish this!_

She heard another snap-hiss and turned towards Revan. The battered and bloody woman was holding her lightsaber in a defensive stance. Her shoulders slumped, however, and her eyes radiated weariness.

´´Keena . . .´´ she said weakly, her voice slightly disturbed by her broken nose, ´´. . . for your own sake: Stop. You are going down the road from which there is almost no return. No matter how justified you feel, you must calm your anger. If you´ll just let me . . .´´

´´No, Revan!´´ Keena spat. ´´No more evasion, no more words, no more lies! It is way past time that justice was done! And _I_ am the only one left with the right to judge you!´´

Revan stood, a turquoise figure in the choking darkness. She seemed to shrink as if something inside her had deflated. Her head hung as the lightsaber deactivated and fell from her grasp. She stood defenseless, and the knot inside Keena screamed at her to strike.

´´Then do it.´´ Revan said in a small voice.

Keena stood still, her arms trembling with built-up tension. Only sheer surprise kept her from striking the defenseless woman in front of her.

´´What!´´

Revan looked up and met her gaze with bone-weary eyes glittering with unshed tears

´´You´re right.´´ She barely seemed to have the strength to sqeeze out the words. ´´You _are_ the only one capable of judging me. And . . . ,´´ her voice choked and almost broke. ´´And if nothing but my life will do . . . then do it.´´

Emotions flared through Keena so fast she couldn´t tell them apart.

Revan stood, arms hanging limply by her sides.

´´Just promise me . . . _promise,´´ _she pleaded ´´that you won´t fall to the Dark Side, like everyone else. Not you too.´´

The moments stretched impossibly long, into hours.

_After all this . . . this is how I knew her . . . this is the Revan I loved and idolised._

´´What . . .´´ Keena´s voice went off without her urging. ´´What´s . . . what´s wrong with you?´´ she said in a low voice. ´´I am about to take your life and you are worrying about me? Why . . . why do you have to be so noble? Why can´t you be the monster?´´

Revan´s tired face offered no answer.

´´How can you fall and go back to being so pure . . . when I fell and am nothing?´´ Keena whispered. ´´Why . . .´´ her legs shook like they were made out of rubber. ´´Why couldn´t I be like you? I tried but it wasn´t any good.´´ Her mind opened to herself with terrible, shining clarity. ´´I knew I would . . . come after you.´´

´´What do you mean?´´ asked Revan in a small voice. Then something seemed to dawn in her eyes. ´´Keena . . . why did you really go to J-3109?´´

´´I . . .´´ Keena´s voice shook. There was no escaping from it any longer. She couldn´t lie to herself any more. ´´I marooned myself because I knew I would go after you. I-I-I k-knew I would switch the blame onto someone I could strike out against. I knew my anger would take control.´´

´´Switch it from where?´´

_Yuthura was right. The "true source of my state" . . . _

´´The one I have really blamed all this time:´´ The brutal self honesty stung. ´´Me.´´

The activated lightsaber sunk to hang by her side.

´´Revan . . . all this time . . . all my anger . . . has been directed at _me_. And while you have returned to the right path where you belong . . . all I´ve done is lie to myself.´´

Her knees gave in and she fell down on them. The lightsaber deactivated and rolled somewhere into the darkness.

´´I didn´t have the discipline to ignore the pain and death of war . . .´´ Keena sobbed. ´´It started long before you betrayed me. I was blind to your corruption because I was blind to mine . . . I ignored all the signs. . . I let Eskon down . . . I was always angry at _myself_ . . .´´

She felt like a rag doll. The full weight of her scorn and anger couldn´t be diverted elsewhere any longer: It all fell down on her shoulders, and she felt like she would never get back up.

All she could do was bury her face in her hands and feel the shame deepen, when the lies she´d told herself were dragged into the light.

_How could I let this happen? How could I be so blind? So stupid?_

´´Keena . . .´´ Revan´s emotional voice felt out of place. She wanted to be left alone in the cold silence.

´´Go Revan . . .´´ Keena choked out through the rock in her throat. ´´Go back up. Leave me in the darkness.´´

She was vaguely aware of hands being placed on her shoulders.

´´Come with me Keena.´´ Revan said in a voice filled with emotion and what felt like desperate hope. ´´You can´t blame yourself for what happened.´´ She placed a hand under Keena´s chin and raised the woman´s head up to look her in the eyes.

´´We can help you. We can help you find peace . . . if you´ll let us.´´

_Could I find peace?_

´´Revan . . . I . . .´´

The world exploded into pain as the Force Storm hit them. Keena´s scream mixed with Revan´s as they were pushed along the ground. Keena´s hastily erected Force defenses lessened most of the effects, and she lay on her back gasping as the attack relented, wondering if the burnt smell was coming off herself, Revan, or both.

A figure emerged from the darkness as if it was made from it. The Sith lightsaber Keena had wielded flew into its grasp and activated, illuminating the figure in crimson light.

´´Good Keena,´´ Eskon growled. ´´Very good.´´ He took a few hobbling steps forward. His legs had been shredded in the explosion, and had slices of grey flesh hanging off the bones. His robes had been shredded and his body was covered in nasty injuries, further enhancing his grotesque appearance. And yet none of the wounds were bleeding.

´´Really . . . sneaky.´´ Before Keena´s eyes the flesh hanging off his legs started pulling itself back on, attaching itself back to the bones. ´´Just not good enough!´´

Revan was starting to crawl back to her feet when Eskon sent a massive Force wave at her. She flew into the darkness, and Keena heard her impact on a pillar.

´´I hated to interrupt that touching scene, but . . . well, no, actually that´s a lie. I _loved _to.´´ His wounds kept on closing, the tainted flesh stitching itself back together. ´´You could have had your name remembered and feared for ages to come . . . but you have chosen oblivion.´´ His yellow teeth revealed themselves in a hideous scowl as he pointed the saber beam at the waiting gate to Hojir Karr´s final resting place. ´´When I come out of that tomb the only name to endure will be mine. There will be nothing but ruin and grief, broken hopes and devestation, misery and fear! The galaxy will be plunged into a dark age, and all will know it was _my work!_ And I´ll not let you get in my way! I . . . _will . . . have . . . the . . . power_!´´

Keena managed to rise to one knee, ignoring the agonized protests of her body. The emotional pain of listening to what had once been Eskon was far worse.

´´Eskon . . .´´ she croaked. ´´You have to stop.´´

His cackle sent shivers down her spine.

´´Please . . .´´ she pleaded. ´´The man you were . . .the _real_ you . . . something like that cannot be fully extinguished.´´

She forced herself to rise, and stood shakily on legs that shook like branches in the wind.

´´You can return, Eskon.´´ Much to Keena´s surprise her words made her feel something she hadn´t felt in years: Conviction. ´´Anyone can return to the light . . . if they let themselves.´´

´´ "If I let myself" ?´´ He mocked bitterly.

He tore away the remains of his robe, revealing the hole in his chest, and the synthetic flesh used to fill it up.

´´My body is one with the technology of the Star Forge! The Dark Side sustains me, fills me! There is no choice in the matter . . . even if I desired one!´´

A tear stole down Keena´s recently scarred cheek. ´´Then . . . then there is only one thing to do.´´ she whispered painfully. ´´Only one way for me to help you . . .´´

A loud, hateful ´´Hah!´´ was his only reply as his body finished putting itself back together. He raised the lightsaber in a fighting stance.

A cold shiver of fear cut through her. Without the fury to draw upon, all she felt was weariness like never before.

_Keena . . ._ came a voice in her head. _Use this._

A lightsaber hilt flew out of the darkness, from the direction Revan had been thrown in.

Keena instinctually caught it and activated its turquiose beam.

_You don´t need anger to fight . . . the Light Side has always been there for you. All you have to do is open up to it._

Eskon flexed his shoulders in preperation.

_Let the Force flow through you._

Another realisation broke through at that point.

_This is what I´m supposed to do . . . isn´t it? _she thought to herself._ This is why the Force wanted me off J-3109._

Keena felt a resignation settle on her then, in finally realising her place in the greater scheme.

_Enough senseless fighting._

Eskon charged, a grey and red specter in the choking darkness.

For a moment that seemed suspended it time, Keena looked him in the eyes and thought back on their first meeting.

Then she moved with the Force, sidestepped the charge, and swung the lightsaber blade once.

Eskon fell to the floor, his severed head stopping a few feet away from its proper resting place.

Keena fell a moment later, collapsing on the floor like a rag. And she cried; For herself, for her friends, for Eskon, for the deaths and the losses, and for how wrong everything went.

She didn´t know how long she stayed there, how long she mourned good intentions gone horribly wrong, but after a long time she felt a hand on her shoulder.

Revan, injured and limping badly, had nevertheless recovered enough to walk.

´´There was nothing else you could have done.´´ she said, in a low, emotion-filled voice. ´´It was the only way to free him.´´

Keena just looked at her, empty-eyed.

´´Don´t you feel that? Above us?´´ Revan asked.

Keena looked at her with confusion for a moment. Then she _did _feel it: A huge blanket of Force power in the skies above the planet. It hadn´t been there a short while ago.

´´Bastila´s Battle Meditation.´´ Revan explained. ´´Eskon´s death has allowed her to focus it. The battle will be won soon.´´ She knelt down painfully and looked Keena earnestly in the eyes. It was that gentle, compassionate look Keena had gotten to know so well in the war.

´´You have bought victory for the Republic, and prevented a great catastrophe. Perhaps the greatest one ever.´´ Revan cupped Keena´s cheeks in her hands. ´´And you have turned your back on the Dark Side; No matter how bad you may feel now you have taken the first steps towards healing yourself.´´

Keena didn´t want to be consoled. She didn´t want to be told she was a hero, or how well she had done. But Revan´s words, nevertheless, made the ache a little better.

Revan stood up and held out her hand.

´´Let´s go home, Keena.´´

The sentence promted Keena´s hand to momentarily stroke the scar on her belly, acquired right after she had spoken the same words to Revan, those four years ago.

_Maybe things can go right this time._

She snorted, but without bitterness.

´´You sure have a way with people.´´ she managed weakly.

Keena took the offered hand, and let Revan help her up.

Something about the former Sith Lord seemed to change. Like she wasn´t quite as weighed down, not quite as weary as she had been before.

´´Keena,´´ she said softly,´´ I think maybe there is hope for both of us.´´

Leaning on each other, the two Jedi walked up towards the surface.


	16. Struggle 16

Keena sat in a cross-legged position on the bed in her quarters on board _The_ _Retaliator_, slowly coming out of the meditation.

She was badly out of practice, and it wasn´t nearly as deep and refreshing as in her Padawan days. But as her eyes opened she felt more at peace than she had ever imagined feeling again. The absence of the knot deep inside her was strange; It had been her constant companion for so long it had come to feel like a natural part of her. But the relief was most welcome.

The room was sparse enough; a bed, a refresher, a locker, a desk and a simple painting on the wall. But it was the most comfortable place she´d stayed in for a long time, and would do perfectly for the journey back to Coruscant. _The Retaliator,_ as well as the rest of Admiral Onasi´s ships, had taken significant damage in the battle two days earlier and would need repairs. Casualties, though, had been miraculously few.

She had been told all about it shortly after boarding the ship: How Carth Onasi had skillfully commanded his fleet in battle against an overwhelming force; about extraordinary feats of bravery and skill that had conspired with Bastila´s Battle Meditation to buy victory after Eskon had fallen; How the Sith had planted assassination droids on board _The Retaliator_, programmed to kill Bastila while she was deep in her trance; And how Yuthura, aided in no small part by Mission and Zaalbar, had dispatched them.

_Maybe the Republic will prevail, after all._ Keena thought while idly rubbing a sleeve of her Jedi robe between her fingers.

Juhani, who had a similar build to Keena´s, had given it to her yesterday. It had been a . . . strange moment. She had been hesitant to accept it, but relented to Juhani´s gentle demanding. She had thought she was off the hook, but Juhani had insisted on watching her put it on.

´´You wear it well,´´ the Cathar had said. ´´As a Jedi.´´

Keena had been . . . touched, and awkwardly thanked her.

She pulled her mind to the present, and pulled the robe tighter around herself. It _did_ feel good to wear one, once more.

She let out a deep breath. Yes, it felt good to belong . . . or at least would be when she got over the awkwardness of the whole thing. The Jedi had been relieved and glad to see her free of the rage, and nothing but welcoming, but somehow there was still a part of Keena who had problems looking them in the eyes. Shortly after the battle she had agreed to let Yuthura and Bastila guide her into a healing trance, and later joined them and Juhani in a group meditation, but after that the Jedi had apparently decided to give her some space. Keena was grateful for that, but knew it wouldn´t last forever.

Right on cue Keena sensed two familar presences approach, and braced herself.

_How do I handle this?_

There was a knock on the door.

She took a deep breath. ´´Come in.´´

The door opened and Mission walked in. Keena could sense Zaalbar out in the hallway.

There were a few moments of silence. The teenager finally broke it.

´´Ah . . . hi.´´

´´Hi . . . Mission.´´

Aside from one brief glimpse in the docking bay Keena hadn´t seen Mission since their confrontation on top of the Verthandi Vigvöllur.

_Oh sweet, tap-dancing Force; And I thought facing the Jedi was difficult._

´´I, ah, wanted to see how you are doing.´´ The Twi´lek trudged on.

´´I´m . . . doing better. Much better. Thanks for asking.´´

Mission opened her mouth to say something, but Keena cut her off.

´´Look, Mission . . . I´m _really _sorry. About lying to you, about using you to get to R . . . Tana.´´ She sighed. ´´And about using my powers on you on top of the hotel.´´ She thought for a moment. ´´Oh, and in the Sith shuttle. I, um, gave you a little nudge to tell me the whole story. That´s really all I can say: I´m sorry.´´

Mission shook her head and sighed. ´´Look; don´t worry about it. Four, count´em: four, of my friends are Jedi who have had issues with the Dark Side. They all go on about how hard it is to resist, and you pulled yourself back. And the way Tana tells it we´d all be dead if it hadn´t been for you. You saved our butts! And speaking of Tana . . . Well, she´s mostly been staying alone in the Ebon Hawk, working on HK. Nobody´s really seen much of her except Juhani . . . My point is: Even though I haven´t seen her much since you came back she looks better than I´ve ever seen her since she . . . found out. She´s been carrying this mountain on her shoulders, and you coming back has made it easier on her.´´

The Twi´lek crossed her arms and leaned back against a wall.

´´Sooo . . . what say we just forget about that whole thing?´´

Keena looked at her for a few seconds.

´´Yes . . . let´s.´´ Mission´s little speech had the same strange effect that every kind and helpful word from the Jedi did: They made her slightly uncomfortable, but were ultimately touching.

With that issue put to rest Mission smiled. ´´Anyway, the other reason I wanted to talk to you was: I think Bastila, Yuthura and Juhani are going to drag you into a Jedi group therapy session soon. I asked Bastila if they were going to pounce on you, hold you down and make you recite the Jedi code 100 times in a row . . .´´

Keena found herself chuckling at the picture the girl painted. An honest chuckle, born of mirth rather than bitterness. That was another welcome change.

´´She said no, but all the same I think maybe you´d like some social interaction first. Me, Zaalbar and Kel are going to play Pazaak in his room later on. I made Big Z promise not to break any more tables if . . . _when_ . . . he loses,´´ the Wookie growled something out in the hallway. ´´. . . and thought maybe you´d wanna join us.´´

Keena sat wordlessly for a little while, before finding her voice.

´´Uhh . . . I . . . yes. Just . . . just let me know when you get started.´´

Mission beamed. ´´Will do!´´

She started walking out, but stopped in the doorway. She hesitated for a few moments before turning around and facing Keena, with a serious expression on her face.

´´I´d still like to be your friend Keena. If, uh . . . if you don´t mind.´´

´´I´d . . . ah.´´ Keena cleared her throat, a disguised attempt to keep her voice normal. ´´I´d like that.´´

They looked at each other wordlessly for a little longer, before Mission´s face split into the familiar smile.

´´Okay, enough sappyness! C´mon Big Z, let´s give the rookies a few more scares.´´

The teenager bounded down the hallway, with the Wookie in tow.

A soft smile slowly spread across Keena´s face. She briefly reflected on the last four years, spent in lonely misery.

_Yes, I _would _like that._

With the two gone, she now sensed another presence approach. During the last two days, which she had mostly spent in this very room, Keena had sensed the Jedi keeping a mental eye on her. She didn´t mind; They hadn´t tried to disguise their observations and she knew they were acting out of concern for her. One mind had been noticeably absent, though.

The presence stopped outside of the door. Both of them were fully aware of each other and there was no need for announcements.

Keena used the Force to open the door, still sitting on the bed.

´´Come in.´´

Revan entered and, at Keena´s beckoning, sat down on the chair.

´´Hey.´´

´´Hello, Keena. I´m sorry I haven´t been around sooner. I needed some . . . I needed some quiet time after the tomb. Time to think.´´

´´Same here. Don´t worry about it.´´

Revan´s soft gaze appraised her for a few seconds.

´´How are you doing?´´ she asked in a low, careful voice.

Keena hesitated for a few moments before replying, considering her answer.

´´I´m . . . ahh . . . I still have things to work through. Realising the truth about my state was a big step, but there is still a ways to go. All this anger, and doubt, and . . . self-loathing; it just doesn´t vanish immediately. But I´m going to make it, I think. I certainly never imagined feeling so much peace ever again.´´

´´Well, that´s . . . I´m glad to hear that. Very glad.´´ Revan smiled, then caught Keena absent mindedly rubbing the recent scar on her cheek. ´´You know, the medical staff on this ship are exceedingly competent. They could fix that easily.´´

Keena shook her head. ´´No, I´ll let it stay. It´s not really disfiguring, is it?´´

´´No. No it´s not. Just gives your face a certain character.´´

Keena nodded. ´´Yeah. And it makes a fine reminder I think. I really think Yuthura is onto something about her Sith tattoos. There is no point in denying the past. And . . . and the battle between me and Eskon was very much a reality.´´

´´You did the right thing, Keena.´´ Revan whispered. ´´You were defending yourself and countless innocent lives.´´

´´I know. I´m just . . . I´m just sad for him. He didn´t deserve to fall.´´

They sat in silence for a little while.

´´On your trip to Brim, did Mission tell you about Ajunta Pall?´´

Keena looked up, not understanding. Of course she had heard about the ancient Sith Lord.

´´While on Korriban I had reason to enter his tomb. I met his spirit there.´´

´´You _met_ Ajunta Pall?´´

´´Yes. But not like you´d think. The ages had slowly cooled his anger, extinguished his hate. All that was left was a sad apparition, kept from crossing over by self-made chains of guilt and self-loathing. It was easy really; I don´t think it ever even occurred to him that he could let go.´´

´´What was easy?´´

Revan´s eyes to on a slightly faraway look, accompanied by a strange little smile. ´´I showed him the way into the Light. All I had to do was convince him that he could let go, that he would be welcomed by the Light Side of the Force even after so much and such a long time. I felt him join his old masters. It was . . . it was a . . . euphoric feeling.´´

Keena just sat and stared. She couldn´t think of a reply to that.

´´My point is,´´ Revan said. ´´That there is hope for everyone, even in death. I think maybe that is the ultimate strength of the Light Side over the Dark Side. That given enough time those in the grip of darkness will realise they hold the key to their own freedom. I don´t think we should give up on Eskon, considering how good he was. Not if Ajunta Pall can return from the shadows.´´

´´Good point.´´ Keena shook her head with a small smile. ´´You know, you really are something: Redeeming one of the original Dark Jedi.´´

´´And what about you? Carrying around so much anger, pain and confusion . . . for four whole years . . . without falling? I would call that really something, too.´´

´´Heh. Humble, as always.´´

´´Of course. None shall ever be able to match my unparalleled humility!´´ Revan said with a smirk.

The two shared a laugh.

´´I completely forgot,´´ Keena said, ´´How are _you _doing, Re . . . Tana?´´

Revan´s face grew more serious again, although it wasn´t the oppressively haunted look Keena had seen before.

´´That you came back; That _some _of my sins could be salvaged, has done so much for me. It doesn´t come close to making up for the things I´m responsible for . . . sometimes I´ve felt Juhani is the only thing keeping me going. But it has made me feel a little better.´´ She reached out and took Keena´s hand into both of hers. ´´And that means a lot to me, Keena. More than I think you can ever imagine.´´

Keena thought for a few seconds. ´´Have you forgiven Malak, Tana?´´

´´Yes. Yes I have.´´

´´And do you forgive me for trying to kill you?´´

´´Yes, Keena!´´ Revan said empathically. ´´I´ve never had any anger for you!´´

Keena met her eyes and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. ´´Then don´t you think you can portion some of that limitless forgiveness out to yourself?´´

The room was once again bathed in silence, as Revan seemed to contemplate her words.

Finally: ´´Maybe.´´

´´You should at the very least try. Can you promise me that?´´

´´Yes, alright. I promise to try.´´

´´That´s good.´´ _Because in my experience; when you try something, you usually succeed._

´´And you can call me Revan.´´

´´Well . . . Revan, I suppose I should tell you: I´ve had some time to think . . . and I´ve come up with a different theory. On why you fell. You could always tolerate the aura of death and grief much better than me . . . but I think the guilt may have proved too much for you. Guilt at every fallen soldier and Jedi under your command. I think eventually it . . . just broke you. And on that subject; I just realised there is something I´ve forgotten.´´ Revan looked at her curiously. ´´If it makes any difference I suppose I should make it official so there is no doubt: I forgive you.´´

Revan stared at her blankly for a while, before a tear ran down her cheek. ´´Well that . . . that makes all the difference in the world.´´

They got up then, and hugged.

´´Thank you, Keena.´´

Eventually Keena broke off the embrace. Reluctantly. It felt like another knot she hadn´t been aware of had been loosened.

´´Ah, to quote that little, blue brat: Enough sappyness.´´

Revan laughed through the tears. ´´Yeah.´´

Keena stepped back and ran her eyes over the small space that had been most of her world for two days.

´´You know, I think I´ve been cooped up here quite long enough. I´ll be joining Mission, Zaalbar and Kel in a Paazak game later on. Care to join us?´´

´´Sure.´´ Revan wiped her eyes. ´´I´m just going to meet up with Juhani and the others first. See you.´´

Keena looked her in the eyes. _I think things will work out. I think we´ll both be okay._

´´See you . . . my friend.´´

* * *

**Author´s note:** Well, that´s a wrap! I hope the ending has lived up to everyone´s expectations. Please let me know what you think.

It´s really been fun writing this little story, and even more fun getting such a great reaction from you all. Special thanks to Snackfiend and my beta, Holli, a.k.a. Jiaguin. Couldn´t have done it without you :) .


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